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General discussion (archive)My video game problem(53 posts)(53 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted June 07, 2013
Hi, everyone

If you had seen my last thread about system shock 2(I really enjoyed that game and still am). Everyone that participated in that thread was really nice so thank you. So this is why I'm here, my parents are pacifists (because of there religion). I am not really in to their religion but I go to church to make them happy. So I was playing a video game on my ps2 (Project Snow blind it rated T) and my mom walked in and started crying. Then when my dad came down stairs he asked why my mom was crying and she told him that it was that I was playing "evil video games" (violent ones). then when my mom walked out my dad started lecturing me on how video games hurt my spirit and how that my "future wife" will not like it when I play them. Then he told me to throw all of the video games that have violence in them away (I have 21 of them on ps2 I collected them over the past 3 years and got most of them from my cousin). I don't wan't to throw them away so what do I do.

PS. I am 16 years old turning 17 in July
PPS. I can't legally move out of the house until I'm 18.
Post edited June 07, 2013 by cj13810
Posted June 07, 2013
Explain to your parents that the little people on the screen are not real, they're just pixels. If that doesn't work, just hide them at a friend.
Post edited June 07, 2013 by Licurg
Posted June 07, 2013
I would store some of them at your cousin's or a friend's house as the path of least resistance. However, you should probably talk (and try to do so as calmly as possible) with your parents about your differences in philosophy towards games and depictions of violence therein. On one hand, it is your parents' house and you are 16 going on 17. On the other hand, some reasonable discourse and discussion might produce very positive results and I think you can make a case for some flexibility. They may still not feel comfortable about the T-rated games and whatnot, but talking it out again when people have calmed down might be a good idea. The trick is not to try sound entitled (i.e. no "I deserve" language) or mocking because that'll shut the conversation down and could make it worse.

EDIT: Pretty much what Licurg said, but just be careful on the phrasing. :)
Post edited June 07, 2013 by crazy_dave
Posted June 07, 2013
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crazy_dave: I would store some of them at your cousin's or a friend's house as the path of least resistance. However, you should probably talk (and try to do so as calmly as possible) with your parents about your differences in philosophy towards games and depictions of violence therein. On one hand, it is your parents' house and you are 16 going on 17. On the other hand, some reasonable discourse and discussion might produce very positive results and I think you can make a case for some flexibility. They may still not feel comfortable about the T-rated games and whatnot, but talking it out again when people have calmed down might be a good idea. The trick is not to try sound entitled (i.e. no "I deserve" language) or mocking because that'll shut the conversation down and could make it worse.

EDIT: Pretty much what Licurg said, but just be careful on the phrasing. :)
I told my dad (calmly) about how I don't think that those video games are bad. He does not believe me and instead he says that I am de-cenceitized to the spirit and what not.
Posted June 07, 2013
Your parents don't have a right to force their religion upon you. You need to make this clear to them in a calm, objective fashion. Tell them that you respect their religion, but that you don't believe in it yourself (I assume that's the case?). Remind them that if they wish to force their religion upon you, then they themselves are guilty of the very things they are preaching against.

Tell them that violence in gaming is not equivalent to real violence, and show them how violence in games has taught you that violence in real life is a bad thing (I hope it has!)

You may need to strike a compromise with them, because you are in their house. How about assuring them that you will not play these games in their house again, but for that you will not throw them away?

As for the 'future wife', I would remind them that it is not their place to say what your 'future wife' will like and won't like. That's for you and her to decide.
Posted June 07, 2013
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crazy_dave: I would store some of them at your cousin's or a friend's house as the path of least resistance. However, you should probably talk (and try to do so as calmly as possible) with your parents about your differences in philosophy towards games and depictions of violence therein. On one hand, it is your parents' house and you are 16 going on 17. On the other hand, some reasonable discourse and discussion might produce very positive results and I think you can make a case for some flexibility. They may still not feel comfortable about the T-rated games and whatnot, but talking it out again when people have calmed down might be a good idea. The trick is not to try sound entitled (i.e. no "I deserve" language) or mocking because that'll shut the conversation down and could make it worse.

EDIT: Pretty much what Licurg said, but just be careful on the phrasing. :)
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cj13810: I told my dad (calmly) about how I don't think that those video games are bad. He does not believe me and instead he says that I am de-cenceitized to the spirit and what not.
well hmmmm ... maybe you can say that understand and respect his position on desensitization but you don't feel you've been adversely affected (etc...)? That their views are not your views, etc ... Try it one more time.

But if you have already had this conversation and they showed little inclination to consider your position, then there may be little you can do except store outside the home with a friend or the cousin who gave you many of those games in the first place. Whether or not you tell them you're doing that is up to you, but I would recommend doing so and couch your argument that you are respecting their wishes about not playing inside the house but also being true to your own views.

Good luck. :/
Post edited June 07, 2013 by crazy_dave
Posted June 07, 2013
Next time they watch a thriller or some other movie with a bit of gore on the telly, repeat their same argument.
Posted June 07, 2013
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WBGhiro: Next time they watch a thriller or some other movie with a bit of gore on the telly, repeat their same argument.
this might work for most kids but my parents never sit down and watch a movie. And the only violent movie that my dad saw was Lord of the Rings. In other words my parents seem to be perfect.
Posted June 07, 2013
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WBGhiro: Next time they watch a thriller or some other movie with a bit of gore on the telly, repeat their same argument.
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cj13810: this might work for most kids but my parents never sit down and watch a movie. And the only violent movie that my dad saw was Lord of the Rings. In other words my parents seem to be perfect.
Explain to them that there is no proof that violent games(or media, in general) cause any harm.
Posted June 07, 2013
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jamyskis: Your parents don't have a right to force their religion upon you. You need to make this clear to them in a calm, objective fashion. Tell them that you respect their religion, but that you don't believe in it yourself (I assume that's the case?). Remind them that if they wish to force their religion upon you, then they themselves are guilty of the very things they are preaching against.

Tell them that violence in gaming is not equivalent to real violence, and show them how violence in games has taught you that violence in real life is a bad thing (I hope it has!)

You may need to strike a compromise with them, because you are in their house. How about assuring them that you will not play these games in their house again, but for that you will not throw them away?

As for the 'future wife', I would remind them that it is not their place to say what your 'future wife' will like and won't like. That's for you and her to decide.
His parents do have the right to expect obedience, though, since he is still a minor. Telling them what they can't do is not going to be productive. Trying to work out a compromise is a good approach, though.
To the OP, since you mention your parents claim you're not being sensitive to the Spirit, I assume they are some variety of Christian. Speaking as a Christian myself, I can understand their concern that you may be enticed into wrongdoing, but they seem to be too concerned with the mere existence of violence in your games. Whether or not you think real-life violence is ever justified, encountering violence in entertainment is not the same as doing it in real life. The Bible portrays plenty of violence, for example.
If your arguments do not convince your parents, and they won't compromise, do not make this into a war--that never ends well. Store the games at someone else's house, as others have suggested, and wait until you turn 18.
Posted June 07, 2013
Something that might help (but could make things worse so beware)

Your cousin does not seem to have these issues if you are getting games from him, perhaps if you cannot get through to your parents about the matter, maybe getting your aunt or uncle on board might help sway the discussion in your favor. On the flip side they could consider this going behind their backs and then it would backfire.

Another option, you say your parents are very religious and that you basically tag along to keep them happy, In my limited experience ive found religious figures (priest, minister rabbi you name it) to be quite understanding, you could approach said person and explain to them the situation.
Posted June 07, 2013
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cj13810: I told my dad (calmly) about how I don't think that those video games are bad. He does not believe me and instead he says that I am de-cenceitized to the spirit and what not.
So is a rational argument not the way to go here?
Posted June 07, 2013
Tell them they should worry about whether your future husband likes games, I guarantee they won't be bothered about the gaming any more... ;)
Posted June 07, 2013
Don't bother trying to explain to them. I suggest you play along for now. They are your parents and whether you like it or not, they can enforce the rules at their own home. Doubly true since you are not an adult yet. At the very least, try to understand that the games you are playing might be genuinely upsetting your parents.

No, I don't suggest you toss those games away. Give them back to your cousin if possible. As for the whole future wife thing, that has yet to be determined.
Posted June 07, 2013
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cj13810: Hi, everyone

If you had seen my last thread about system shock 2(I really enjoyed that game and still am). Everyone that participated in that thread was really nice so thank you. So this is why I'm here, my parents are pacifists (because of there religion). I am not really in to their religion but I go to church to make them happy. So I was playing a video game on my ps2 (Project Snow blind it rated T) and my mom walked in and started crying. Then when my dad came down stairs he asked why my mom was crying and she told him that it was that I was playing "evil video games" (violent ones). then when my mom walked out my dad started lecturing me on how video games hurt my spirit and how that my "future wife" will not like it when I play them. Then he told me to throw all of the video games that have violence in them away (I have 21 of them on ps2 I collected them over the past 3 years and got most of them from my cousin). I don't wan't to throw them away so what do I do.

PS. I am 16 years old turning 17 in July
PPS. I can't legally move out of the house until I'm 18.
If you are under the legal age to play the videogame, he has a point, my kids friends are all playing CoD, GTA etc. but I dont let them play stuff that isnt age appropriate, its called good parenting.

Dunno about the significance of a future wife, my missus hate me playing videogames, regardless of their content, I hate her watching soap operas, so I dont really care either way.
Post edited June 07, 2013 by F1ach
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Community
General discussion (archive)My video game problem(53 posts)(53 posts)
(53 posts)