koboldcaptaindeath:No one should be able to get in here sir
me:Evil evil
koboldcaptaindeath:trying to replace the word good with evil again sir?
me:yep. now lets get back to work!
unless that spider can poison you and has hidden fangs its unlikely to be a threat to any one.
alymay:AHH look at the tiny cute spider! its so cute!
me:how the hell did you get in here?
alymay: Teleport scroll.
captaindeath:So that what happen to my missing teleport scroll.
me:Dam it! Now we will hear nothing but talk about spiders for the next few hours!

I think that....
THE CAKE IS A LIE!

Fixed . . . it's really chocolate . . . =)

I got a cake in the shape of a spider when i was 4 and was too afraid to eat it.

agreed, this is part of my trifecta for getting any girl ever:
first I make her dinner, something that obviously takes more than rudimentary cooking talent but isn't pretentious
next I serenade her with violin, but I don't just start playing. I get onto the subject of music and work the conversation so that she asks me to play, which I then do in a (fake) slightly embarrassed way which is totally cute
then i whip out my impressive dick
i don't really know if steps one and two are necessary

i don't know how you guys do it.
I got my wife by being a complete dick to everyone in her family. You guys are giving me the feeling that i did something wrong.
And by the way, nice tasty cake.