"Honey, is this because your jeans are so large you have to iron them on the driveway ?"

Lol that was funny

Overweight people need to hear they are overweight, they don't need you to pretend otherwise and allow them to get worse. I say this as someone with my own weight issues.

And 7 years was my longest, for the record.

Now this is a man's answer, and if your odder half doesn't laugh with you at the sheer ridiculosity of the situation, then it's time to kick that fat-ass skank to the curb and start looking for a mate again.

If she has, I'd just say "Maybe lose some weight if you're so worried about it?"
If a relationship can't be based on honesty, I'm not interested.

Nobody is pretending or advocating anything of the kind. My point is that "OMG I'm so fat!" is not a statement of fact or even belief, nor is the proper response one of well-meant advice.

Awesum song

Depends on the "OMG I'm so fat!"

Be honest with her.

If she really is fat, you should get another girlfriend anyway.

>_>

What?

"Easy to check, babe - just shake your booty, and if it takes more than two minutes to stop jiggling, then yep, you're fat"

"Whatever you say, dear, but I'll still boink ya."

This seems appropriate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qDgCmzh5ao

Sometimes "fat" is harmless if other conditions are kept under control. Body weight (in relation to stress on joints), cholesterol and arterial plaque, etc. For example, I'm 6' 3", have a waistline of 37", a cholesterol count of 118, but I "weigh" around 300lbs. Stance and muscle mass can effect your weight when you're on the scale, so try to stand up straight with your shoulders parallel to your hips (imagine two lines drawn across each). It doesn't matter where your hands are, unless your biceps are disproportionately larger than your chest. Then you have a whole 'nother problem entirely.

"You will always be beautiful to me, dearest heart."

A husband and wife were going out for dinner. The wife was in the bathroom for more than an hour "getting ready".

Finally she opened the bathroom door, turned around to display what she was wearing and asked her husband 'Does this make me look fat ?'

The husband replied 'No, not really honey, but then again, it's only a small bathroom'.

"Yeah, but at least you don't fart much".