Sorry to hear that.

I've known a couple. And I think it really depends a great deal on the situation. But, it's common for people who commit suicide to end up as essentially martyrs where everybody around them ignores the fact that it was a suicide and that they probably had serious issues and focuses exclusively on the positive. Which leads to a distorted remembrance.

Also, be aware that suicide contagion is a real thing and that once one suicide happens it's relatively common for other people to do so as well. I'd definitely make sure to talk with folks that you know who might have issues. Doing so could save a life.

Also, read up on suicide prevention for similar reasons.

So I had a friend that I worked with who killed himself a few years ago. His was 24 years old, a really nice guy and a total goofball. In 2008 I moved 60 miles away from my old neighborhood, so I I didn't see him as much as I used to. Kept in touch with him on facebook after I moved for about a year,. He seemed to be doing ok then. He was auditioning for comedy theater shows (Second City.) I also went back to the old neighborhood once and saw him again, played softball with him and he seemed happy.


In 2009, after not being on facebook for a few months, I logged on and started talking to another friend and he asked me if I heard about Jim B. Turned out he had killed himself a week earlier. It was a Friday night and he posted a vague post on myspace that said something like "not feeling like myself". That was the last thing he said to anybody, Then he left his house and walked to a quarry and jumped off a high ledge, which killed him obviously. Nobody worked at the quarry on the weekends, so his body wasn't found till the following Monday. During the weekend people just didn't know where he went. It was unbelievably sad reading his facebook page, because you could see the progress of how his parents went from making posts where they he hoped he was just out with friends somewhere and then gradually getting more nervous but still having hope "Jimmy where are you? " then "please come home we love you " "please call us Jimmy" and he was laying dead in a quarry the whole time and then finally a bunch of people saying "rip we love you Jimmy" once his body was found . I get emotional just thinking about it.


Anyhoo yeah it sucked. As I mentioned earlier, I had moved to a different neighborhood so I didn't see him as much, so i really couldn't tell if he was acting differently. I talked to some of my old friends, and they said he had gotten into a cycle of being really happy and joking around, then he'd mysteriously get real depressed and quiet for a few days, then repeat. People would ask what was bothering him,but he wouldn't say anything at all,
Regarding the question about how I felt about the person and his choice, well obviously it makes me very sad. If I had known he was going through problems, I would have tried reaching out to him and helping him. Fuck man everybody loved that guy, he was like a harmless puppy dog. I was also going to go into a rant on how stupid some people's simple perceptions are about suicidal people, but never mind. I guess I'll just mention that I was once was suicidal when I was 17 . I was practically homeless and having a generally frustrating and depressing time in my life and I understand the feeling.There are actually people who think that suicidal people are just cowards, and they say " hey I see depressing things all the time and I'm not about to kill myself because I can handle the real world". It's not that simple. Feeling suicidal isn't just about feeling depressed because your girlfriend broke up with you or whatever, it's a feeling of pain and hopelessness that you just can't seem to escape no matter how much you try. If you've never felt that way, good for you. You're lucky. Doesn't mean it won't happen to you one day. Not many people plan on feeling that way.

about your question on whether it still affects me, the answer is yes it does. I'm depressed right now just talking about it and I noticed that I probably started rambling incoherently, Not that I mind you discussing the topic