Posted December 22, 2015
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Hint #2: I suddenly realised that some people might be offended by the solution, for which I truly apologise. If you believe there are some things that are not suitable material for artistic levity, you might want to forget about this thread.
Hint #3: Item (1) does not fit very well, if at all, so don't concentrate on it. I conceived of the scheme only after I had committed to items (1) and (2) and could not change them.
Hint #4: Item (11) is probably the most directly tied to the underlying scheme.