*drags in enormous bag of fun* Alright, I'm done being useless and have decided to help fix up the cave. *Begins decorating.

You're next!

http://youtu.be/_ML1l-5C0_Q?t=1m0s

First sausage, now mushrooms. Me thinks people are stumbling into the hermit cave a bit on the hungry side. Then again, those buffalo paintings on the wall do smell of food porn.

(video wouldn't work.... I do get the gist though).
Well you asked for my help, so I'm HELPING. I put a lot of time and effort into this and I don't appreciate how you are acting. I spent a fortune on scented candles.

*Shouts at two dump trucks from Bed, Bath and Beyond and Pier One* Ok boys, back em up!

Maaaaaaybe. All I can say is the wall drawings are looking mighty magnificent tonight.

OH LOOK A LIGHTNING BUG! *dances in loincloth around firepit, chanting like a dirty hippie*

I said no frills, no pink, no scented candles (among a long list of other "no!"s)... how are you helping (aside from singularly keeping Sarah Palins mom in business)?

Are you remodelling and turning this place into the Hermit Chalet Deluxe with en-suite bathroom now? :-P

Is that a man burning alive!?

Lays down a rug. It really ties the room together.

Did somebody order an indoor pool? The cement truck just arrived.

FINE. I'll do it in a light red.

No, you can take your frilly poopoo shit and sort out the rugs instead.

...might want to wear gloves (foxworks doin stuff ya know).
Also - from my neighbours son (trying to be very "street" as he said it:

"Dinosauruses is basically giant retro chickens innit!"

You actually used footage of a man burning alive to make a joke? How fucked up are you!?

*Wakes up* Wow. Those mushrooms really took me to other places, man. Wait, where's the rug?!?

Some guys pissed on it, then stole it. Really tied the room together, that rug.