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barjed: What should I do when I am the only damned person in this relationship that actually tries to make it work? it's always me caring for her, it's always me helping her, surprising her, giving her flowers on occasions and without any occasion. I give her absolutely everything from myself, my time, my attention. I've never loved anyone this much.

I couldn't think of anything more that I could do for this relationship. And yet, she seems cold and distant. She never remembers our anniversaries (oh the irony), she never cares to do anything nice or special for those occasions (while I literally do back flips to surprise her with something pleasant). She never says any nice things to me (like 'I missed you' or 'It's good to see you again'.), nothing. Not to mention the dreadful, absolutely depressing, long silence when I told her that I love her for the first time (to this day she never ever responded to that). She never let me sleep over at her place (nor she wants to sleep over at my place).

I heard that I have to patient and I try to be. I try to be there for her every day. I never complain to her but days like these, when she's cold and in bad mood make me feel really down.

Bleh, just had to get this off my chest.
How long have u been with her, u used some plurals so that would suggest its been a fair while. Has she been badly hurt in the past, has she always been that way, theres a lot of reasons this may be.

If you want, pm me,(may finally get to use my counciling stuff, waste of a year so far)
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Fantasysci5: Congrats!
Thankyou
Post edited May 04, 2011 by reaver894
No one on my dorm floor can properly take care of their fucking discs! My Halo: Reach disc is scratched to hell because people have no respect for others' possessions.
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barjed: What should I do when I am the only damned person in this relationship that actually tries to make it work? it's always me caring for her, it's always me helping her, surprising her, giving her flowers on occasions and without any occasion. I give her absolutely everything from myself, my time, my attention. I've never loved anyone this much.

I couldn't think of anything more that I could do for this relationship. And yet, she seems cold and distant. She never remembers our anniversaries (oh the irony), she never cares to do anything nice or special for those occasions (while I literally do back flips to surprise her with something pleasant). She never says any nice things to me (like 'I missed you' or 'It's good to see you again'.), nothing. Not to mention the dreadful, absolutely depressing, long silence when I told her that I love her for the first time (to this day she never ever responded to that). She never let me sleep over at her place (nor she wants to sleep over at my place).

I heard that I have to patient and I try to be. I try to be there for her every day. I never complain to her but days like these, when she's cold and in bad mood make me feel really down.

Bleh, just had to get this off my chest.
I have bad news for you, but good too, there's women out there that are way better than this and one that will adore you for doing all that stuff. That bad news is that your current girl is not worth it. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy (i.e. that you'd be losing everything you've put in by quitting now) that is counterproductive and keeps a lot of good people in destructive situations. This stuff will eventually make you a worse person as you lose your self confidence.

Trust me, it's not giving up to move on from a bad situation. Giving up is doing nothing about something that is slowly destroying you. Moving on is being proactive and being good to yourself. If you're doing all that good stuff for her where does the energy come from to take care of yourself when she doesn't reciprocate?
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reaver894: How long have u been with her, u used some plurals so that would suggest its been a fair while. Has she been badly hurt in the past, has she always been that way, theres a lot of reasons this may be.

If you want, pm me,(may finally get to use my counciling stuff, waste of a year so far)
It's been a year now. I know she's been through some toxic and bad relationships in the past, that's why I've always tried to be understanding and patient. She has drastically low self esteem and some really warped view or herself, appearance especially (while it's really far from truth). She also has five siblings (I don't know if that's important).

She's been like this to me from the very start. It was very confusing in the first months because I had honestly no idea if we are dating or not, is it going to be a relationship or not. She never speaks of her feeling or emotions and never admits to any weakness that she might have for me.

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orcishgamer: snip
I hear you but this is not that simple. I am almost sure that she is not doing this on purpose or out of malice, it's the way that she was hurt by some douche-bags in the past that left some really bad stain on her psyche.

I love her, I don't want to leave her. I once read that you have to give everything from yourself in relationship or else there is no point in it. I am trying so very hard, I just hope that one day she sees.
*insert rant about insecure women and toxic relationship here* because I'm too tired to do it again.
Spring is really taking its sweet time doing its thing up here (northern Midwest US) and we're just now starting to get somewhat warm. Normally, I wouldn't care so much but the motorcycle itch is not getting scratched. At least not until yesterday when I finally removed the cover, disconnected the battery tender, fired it up, and went for a ride.

Chilly and rain again today. Bleh. The weekend is looking good, tho. Gonna spend some time in the garage today putting a windscreen and bag hangers on my wife's new bike. Picked it up yesterday, as an early 20th Anniversary present for her. She deserves a parade, a medal, and a national day in her honor for putting up with my dumb ass for this long, but a new bike should suffice.
I'm very sad right now, i can't believe I missed the Syberia promo
My dinner is cold and my shoes don't fit >:(
I just don't understand my boss . Why does she want me to keep my current position ?
Post edited May 05, 2011 by lackoo1111
Hmm, I've got exams that will determine my future and career this month. I'm confident though that I'll be OK (looking for 5 As (out of 5)).
To hell with school math / university math / whatever math.
For the past while I've been getting so sick of Internet/gamer/nerd culture that I've been editing my hosts file and making liberal use of Chrome's Personal Blocklist extension to block web sites that have or are likely to piss me off. I've blacklisted 258 domains in Chrome and 18 domains in my hosts.

Without going into any embarrassing details, the majority of geekish communities are trolls trolling trolls. For all their alleged liberalism/libertarianism, most nerds can be the most reactionary individuals on the freakin' planet.

Right now GOG is the only forum I visit on a regular basis. I still see stuff that has pissed me off away from other sites, but it's in bearable quantities. Don't ruin it for me guys.
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orcishgamer: snip
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barjed: I hear you but this is not that simple. I am almost sure that she is not doing this on purpose or out of malice, it's the way that she was hurt by some douche-bags in the past that left some really bad stain on her psyche.

I love her, I don't want to leave her. I once read that you have to give everything from yourself in relationship or else there is no point in it. I am trying so very hard, I just hope that one day she sees.
I'm sorry for what you're going through but it doesn't really matter why you think she's doing it or what excellent reasons she might have for it. You didn't cause it, it happened before you dated her (and probably knew her). And in the end you cannot make her happy, nor save her. There's many heartbroken men and women who've wasted years learning the very lesson I'm sharing right now. I know you'll most likely reject it, most everyone does, it's natural. However, you should give it some thought. You are sacrificing your own happiness for her and it's not even working, now you're both unhappy.

You cannot save her. I'm really sorry:(
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barjed: I love her, I don't want to leave her. I once read that you have to give everything from yourself in relationship or else there is no point in it. I am trying so very hard, I just hope that one day she sees.
Good grief no. Relationships aren't about abondoning yourself to another person, and being defined by their every need. It's a two-way, and it's healthy to have a life outside of each other. Sounds like an unsustainable slog culminating in crash and burn.
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Aaron86: Without going into any embarrassing details, the majority of geekish communities are trolls trolling trolls. For all their alleged liberalism/libertarianism, most nerds can be the most reactionary individuals on the freakin' planet.
You should really try Neowin. :p Almost every news posted has the Windows vs Mac vs Linux crap.
Post edited May 06, 2011 by KavazovAngel