My anxiety has been getting significantly worse over the last couple of weeks. I'm having panic attacks almost everyday. I am afraid to do anything, and especially afraid to leave my house. Every time I go outside, even to take out the trash, I freak out so bad that I can't leave my room for the rest of the day (and usually the next day.)
I am too anxious to read a book for more than eleven seconds. So I have TV, the internet, and sleep to use up all of my time. This doesn't sound too bad, but lately, using the internet is making me more anxious. Even using these forums. Every time I write something, I worry that I will get a reply. Any time I open a thread, I worry that I will read something I don't like. I need to stop using the forums (among other websites) for a while, I think.
Lately I have been hallucinating, panicking, and feeling like I have a flu everyday. This is in addition to having an unresolvable mysterious headache literally everyday for 20 straight months.
If you have seen any of my posts in this thread before, you know it is extremely difficult to find a doctor. I have an appointment to see my old doctors, but they are three hours away, and it is not for another two months. (This is literally the best, closest, and fastest possible mental help where I live.)
It's all starting to really piss me off. Now I am worried that people that read this might get upset. So I think I'll just stop here.
In the off-chance that anyone is worried about me, please don't be. I'm a survivor and a fighter. Life is shitty, but I can endure like a motherfucker. I was a distance runner in Jr. High.
/end dramatic whiny teenage rant. Sorry about that. I guess that is what the thread is for. +1 to the OP for starting this.
Post edited January 14, 2014 by AdamR