I am looking for a programmer to help develop new versions of the UNIX "true" and "false" commands. The requirements are as follows:
* 60+ years of UNIX programming experience
* 20+ years of Go or Rust experience
* 20+ years of experience with iPhone or Android development

You will be asked to develop new versions of "true" and "false". To apply, you will be asked to provide working implementations of these two UNIX commands. (You do not have to support the --help and --version options.)

Payment: For each hour of work, you shall pay me $20. (Yes, I am asking you to pay to work for me. I can't afford free labor; I want something even cheaper, please.)

(This post, of course, is a joke; "true" and "false" are trivial programs to write, and the amount of experience required should raise some serious eyebrows.)

This isn't that far off from real programming job postings I've seen.

"True and false are trivial programs to write" - nonsense, quantum computing for instance can be 1 and 0 simultaneously. Even true/false is subjective!

It almost seems like a real job offer, but you forgot the mandatory 6-year long degree and a few years of prior work experience for this internship and its a bingo.

"Truth isn't truth" - Rudolph W. Giuliani

I did mention required experience; 60+ years in UNIX and 20+ years in the language and device.

(Never mind that UNIX and the languages and OSes haven't actually existed that long.) I actually do remember reading about job posting that would require more years of experience in then new languages (like Java or C#) than the language even existed for. Actually, I would show you my implementation of /bin/true, but unfortunately it's too small to post on this forum.

I've seen real job listings that required a (or several) university degree for a rather simple accountant position that requires rudimentary ERP understanding with perhaps 1 month of experience with that system at most. I even asked the person who has written that stuff and they told me its just how the Boss wants. And thats just the superficial stuff.

Welcome to neoliberalism, where basically nepotism and otherwise extremly unrealistically high expectations will control everything. Can't wait until I can use my degree in Psychology with 10 years of previous working experience in several fields as a Taxi Driver where it belongs.

To put things into perspective, my mother was leading a engineering department while working with the youth union of the company 3 years after leaving school at 14, which was normal back in the day as most left school by that age.

The expectations were just more realistic and you gained skills while working naturally in your field. Nowadays you will be replaced by a machine even if you do your job great. Not to mention that my (and your) work will probably be replaced by one in the next 10-20 years.

Its either that my Job decisions were abysmal or that I'm simply a statistic out of many. According to thousand of other experiences that I've read and heard from I'm not alone.

I also suggest that every child by the age of 4 has to master ASM perfectly or else it gets put into the Intel child labour Silicon mines.

Thats the future we're all up for, most likely.

Indeed, in Yorkshire it means the bit on top of the house... ok for non-U.K. People, it's a dialect joke - they have a tendancy to put t' in front of things, e.g. "What's leaking Ted?, "its t' roof Ned"
And just searching for an example I came across this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AjhTCskZMiY
Or even:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IJFq2jhgQT8

that's not how he meant it :P
But I don't want to turn this into another flame thread so I'll bring my remarks to a close.

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Ce ne pas

"But let your statement be, 'True, True' or 'False, False'; anything beyond these is of evil."
Just hire Jesus.

Hello there. And how is the future? Is it as bad as everyone thinks it's going to be?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1QKW3n9-rw

Hmm.

0.