^ His secret identity is Barnacle Boy.

Another forum game? This site seems to have a lot of them.
Ok, the one above me doesn't have a beard but still owns a beard trimmer.

Jacob has done everything I described Hammond doing in my description of a Jurassic Park parody; his life was somehow beamed into my mind.

^ He just cannot Lego sometimes.

^ He won't Lego my Eggo.

He dropped his waffle on the beach; it was San Diego.

^ He found Carmen there.

^ He stole the beans from Lima, the sprouts from Brussels, the sweetness from Sugar Land, Texas and the fries from the French.

^ His favorite song is about a cockroach which cannot walk anymore because it lacks marijuana to smoke.

^ His favorite game is Bad Mojo.

Bumped off Archduke Ferdinand in 1914 and Archduke Chocula the following year.

^ He forgot to buy candy for the Trick-Or-Treaters last Halloween, so, at the last moment, he put small portions of Count Chocula cereal in pint-sized baggies and handed them out that night.

Forgot that it was actually grape nuts.

^ He believes that grapes have reproductive organs.

^ Favorite game is E.T. on the Atari 2600