dtgreene: Elminage Gothic has some of those traits. In particular, resurrection can fail (and causes aging when successful), and the game has an Item/Monster Encyclopedia that is filled up as you discover things. (It is very much like classic Wizardry games.) There is, interestingly, a penalty for reloading a mid-dungeon save; time will pass, and if you do it too much (especially in post-game dungeons), your characters will age.
Darvond: The reviews seem to be mixed; Mordor did slap you around but it wasn't brutal.
Here are some details on how brutal Elminage Gothic actually is. Of note is that the game starts out easy and gets harder as you progress.
First dungeon: 3 floors (all mandatory). The enemies are really easy, with none being able to do anything particularly nasty, especially if you have Song of Healing and/or Turn Recovery. The only exception is the Floor Master, who can be easily avoided (and is visible on the automap) and is not meant to be fought at that point.
Second dungeon: 4 floors, only 1 required. One enemy has a 5% chance of beheading on attack.
Third dungeon: 5 floors, only 1 required (though it's worth exploring the first basement). The only notable danger on the required floor IIRC is an enemy that can attack the back row. There's an enemy on other floors with a 20% behead rate. (Wouldn't it be nice if you could get that? Turns out you can with the help of a Summoner (ideally with Spirit Pact).)
Fourth dungeon: 3 floors (both mandatory). I don't remember it being too hard. There's some trickery involved in mapping these levels, however.
It is only after these dungeons that you start to encounter level draining, but you can quickly reach deep enough in the 5th dungeon to power level. This is also when the game starts throwing optional dungeons at you; exploring them is a good way to get experience and treasure, and the start of those dungeons isn't that dangerous.
The most dangerous enemies tend to appear at the bottom floors of optional dungeons, which can be saved until later, and in the final bonus dungeon, by which point you have already explored 70+ dungeon levels.
Of note, as brutal as some of the enemies are, the only time I have been wiped on the surprise round is when an enemy casts Miracle and it decides to teleport the party into solid rock, which is fortunately incredibly rare (and you can reload a save if you are unlucky enough for that to happen).