Granted. But returning to good old times creates a time paradox, chaos ensues; crazy lawyers become rapper managers (san andreas reference), church groups become lusty hippies and wild party animals, the Republican party turns into Neo-nazi activists!

I wish i could catch apis mellifera bees and make them sting me at will controllably; their poison has many beneficial properties in small quantities!

The lords of the internet apply Rule 35, and presto! you are now aroused by bee stings.

I wish I could now get that disturbing image out of my head.

Granted, but now instead of visual, you have sound; you hear bees buzzing 24/7.

I wish i could capture a BIG snake this time round to make my own blood snakewine with Ginseng/Ginger tincture (triple distilled extra pure vodka for base, instead of ricewine). The mini trial with baby snake months ago wasn't enough of a quantity, but it was the only one i could catch (big ones run away fast)...

Granted, you catch the biggest snake around, but it revolves and strangles you.

I wish I had white hair.

Granted, but you find out that your hair is not actually white, it's just white paint permanently stuck to your head.

I wish the sun revolved around the earth.

Granted, but earth is set ablaze by solar storms.

I wish the Mediterranean sea to rage on uncontrollably for at least one month, sinking all vessels on its waters.

^ Granted, all vessels sink. Luckily you were in one of them at the right moment, so you were able to experience the event first hand; you also drowned at the end of week #3.


I wish the constant waves of "befriend me" threads would die out.

Granted, but now new threads emerge: "Be my enemy in X game with multiplayer", instead!

I wish the pope would actually shit in the woods and the bears in the liquor tent!

Granted! The pope now shits in the woods. However the bears get drunk in the liquor tent and start picking fights with the clergy.

I wish I was back at my fighting weight.

Konnichiwa, yokozuna-san.

I wish I could read Japanese, so that I wouldn't have to keep waiting for the manga translations.

Granted. You now speak fluent Japanese, but you cannot speak other language.

I wish to conclude kuji in training before summer, so i can proceed to undertake the trial of the waterfall.

As you wish...unfortunately you fail the trial so hard you're wheelchair-bound for life.

I wish my cat could talk back to me <3

Easy-peasy. Your cat already talks back to you; all cats do. But now you can hear what it's actually saying, and so you feel bad.

I wish I were bitten by a radioactive koala.

Done, but it dies immediately after that.

I wish for !@#$s to finally stop demanding LGBT presence in pc games, in the form of NPCs and game content/interaction. And games to continue being exactly as they already are.

Granted! They now complain and demand centaurs get equal representation alongside other creatures.

I wish cheese and greasy food had the same nutritional value as leafy green vegetables.