(In all the hundreds of ketchup packets I've found in just a few years, only 1 was was bad. It was easy to tell from how dark and thick it was. I can't speak of the spicy stuff to be fair, but the packets seem to do a great job of keeping it all fresh.)

I snack on the crackers for 5 days and leave a still-wrapped copy of Get Out on blu-ray.

Argh! I can't use this thing!

I leave my HD DVD player and lay Michael's Blu-ray disc on top of it to confuse the next visitor.

Look at the dvd player and blue disc and insert it. Does not work so I get inside movie theater and watch a movie on big screen.

Leaves the door to the theater and snack aisle open for next user

With nothing good in theaters anymore, I take as much candy as I can carry and run.

I leave the popcorn for whoever wants to watch Mortal Kombat 3, that's as good as it gets currently.

Appreciate the popcorn MichealD.965_Conspiracy Nut left and watch Mortal combat 3 after watching the first two movies.

Leaves a critical review outlining the pros and negatives about the first 3 movies for the next user to find on a movie review site

Reads the reviews, then reads more reviews....until I end up wasting hours and it's dark outside

I take an aspirin from all the eye strain, and leave the rest of the bottle for the next person.

Uses the aspirin from all the brain and eye strain from writing the 50 page review on Mortal Combat 1, 2, and 3

Leaves an empty aspirin bottle for next user

I fill the pill bottle with red pills and add a second one filled with blue pills. I leave them to the next user(s).

Re in act the matrix movie at the beginning but end up eating the red poison pill dying, while leaving my jacket and hologram body for the next user.

I plug the holographic projector into my computer, delete the folders relating to Albinistic, and use it to watch my porn collection instead.

For the next user, I leave the watermelon that I once took from Walmart's for-sale box and brought it straight to Lost & Found. The receptionist was aghast at the yellow indention of soft and deeply cracked skin; neither of us were brave enough to sniff it, she just disposed of it and I didn't even need to ask. (That is, you're finding this watermelon in exactly that condition.)

Watermelons give me diarrhea, so I'm not getting near that thing. Especially since I know that MichealD.965 disposed of it after watching his porn collection. I have internet, you know...

Slightly disgusted but also weirdly amused, I leave a collection of MAD magazines from the '70s.

I pass the MAD magazines and the cremated brain of Alfred E. Newman to the next poster along with a few copies of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers underground comic books.

Look at the amusing photos and leave a custom-homemade comic with Mad and Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers features within my novel called the Bink and Ink.

I have a good laugh at the comic, ignore the novel, and leave a book of baby-names that I found on the curb a block and a half from my house.

I pick a random boy name from the book and rename MichaelD.965 to a more suitable name, BrandonD001.

v I leave the book of baby name to the next person to post because, unbeknownst to you as of yet, the lady in your life has yet to inform you that she is expecting your offspring.