CarrionCrow: Maybe so, but I'd feel badly doing that myself.

Besides, I'd rather save the vomit for good things, like someone gushing about the shiny rock they were given, someone who doesn't notice my rolling eyes and rapidly vanishing patience.

The trick is the timing.

You know you're going to vomit, you've got that queasiness going on and the person still won't take the hint and shut up, so what you have to do is create a proper opening.

When they finally stop to take a breath, you have to go with something subtle, but effective.
Something along the lines of, "Good thing you got the jewelry, it's probably going to be all you get, given the combo of you having the inherent sex appeal of a decaying rhino corpse and the fact that your significant other just spent the afternoon giving your sister asshole herpes."

When their jaw starts to drop? THAT'S when you throw up. Make sure to arc properly, and it'll go right in their mouth.

Like I said. Timing. ;)

LaPtiteBete: 3__3 Good morn... eer... Afternoon, everyone !!!

AgentBirdnest: Okay... First of all...
AgentBirdnest: What the effing fuck?!?
I am currently laughing my ass off like a freaking maniac... I think I might have literally woken up everyone in the house...
No shit - loudest I have laughed all week. Thank you, sir.

On a less weird and disgusting note...
AgentBirdnest: Good afternoon, feathery friend! *big hug*
Glad you got some good rest. I hope the rest of the day treats you well :-)

ddickinson: It's good to see these modern Viking families. The woman goes off pillaging, while the man stays at home with the kids. So much more efficient, much more pillaging with a lot less rape. :-)

Stilton: Hey, you have to live with the times (although not completely - I couldn't live without the occasional pillage here and there). And yes, I'm staying in with the Mini-Viking because these mixed 'modern' gender roles are leaving her a bit confused, a problem the length of my hair is adding to. We'll do some bonding tonight, club a couple of does and have an arm wrestle. That should stop her calling me 'Mum.'

ddickinson: It sounds like you have a very nice night ahead of you. But it would be easier if you just cut your hair? :-)

AgentBirdnest: I'm not a handshake person at all. Handshakes literally make me panic (thank you, obsessive-compulsive disorder, you evil bitch >__<)
I love hugs, though :-)
I just don't like anything touching my hands... Unless I know for sure it is "safe"...

LaPtiteBete: Hello, Agent !! *Hug* :-)
How are you doing ?
I don't like shaking hands either... It always feels awkward. To me, touching people's (moreover, perfect stranger's) hand is a more... sensual kind of contact, than a normal random hug... :-p

ddickinson: There are even how to videos on it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iwe5KDJYxTM

Stilton: Ah, now that's a difficult subject. Traditions need to be upheld, and my golden locks are a symbol of ancestral respect and oneness with my clan. If I took a Braun Series 7 to my nut and hacked some thatch I would be compromising my link to ancient and immortal history, not to mention putting myself in the unwholesome state of needing to wash all the itchy stuff away. You'd think my beard would be an adequate pointer as to which parent Mini-V is dealing with, but my maiden can get a bit bristly from time to time, too, so you see the problem.

ddickinson: I agree with you about the kissing thing. If people want to do it then fine, and I guess I don't mind it with good friends. But lots of people seem to do it now. It just feels awkward to me, and as you said pretentious, they do it to appear sophisticated. Luckily I don't get that a lot. Living where I do people are more down to earth, and not trying to be all posh and cultured. The worse is when women you hardly know try to kiss on the lips as a greeting. As I said, if it's a good friend then I don't mind so much, but I don't like random people I hardly know doing it. Not because I don't like getting kissed or touched, but because I find it all just pointless and silly.

LaPtiteBete: ... you mean, without being drunk ? :-D

ddickinson: How about an eye-patch? You could wear one, like the great Odin. Then your little Viking would know that real men wear eye-patches, and she will be able to easily tell you all apart among all that long blond hair. :-)

CarrionCrow: I'm sitting here, I'm drinking, I'm smoking, my nerves are shot, my chest hurts, my fingers are going numb, I haven't slept, I'm playing a game, I'm purposely making it as hard as possible to complete, I keep getting perfect score after perfect score, and what's running through my head?

An acquaintance pissing and moaning about how they played a hard game for ten minutes and gave up because when they play, they want to have fun.

I kinda want to hit them in the face for being such a pussy right now.

Stilton: An excellent suggestion, but one which I am afraid is doomed to failure as the shieldmaiden has to wear one due to having a glass eye that refuses to do what it's told (not an old war wound - she was trying to lever an arrow head out of my rear end with a teaspoon and her grip slipped. The arrow head is still in there, by the way). Many a time I've been having an important and often meaningful conversation with her thinking she was looking at me intently when in fact she had nodded off. It also has a habit of falling out of its socket at embarrassing moments, so unfortunately the patch is a keeper. Thanks for the thought, though.