Not as bad as eating Popcorn and a Whole Corn.

I ate a candy bar once and almost died on the emergencyroom examaning table.
Guess what, wrappings aren't digestable.

For the sore throat, just drink 2 mugs of onion tea every day . Lack of stamina is usually caused by vitamin deficiency, usually vitamin D, so get some supplements for that .

Pretty sure that if you rectally insert said apple into said doctor, he/she will stay away.. eventually.

Well I am already passed the Sore Throat portion of my cold. Now I am in the runny nose, Lack of Strength, feeling hot, and coughing portion.

(Everytime I get a cold it beings with a painful and irritating sore throat then days later the other things pops out while the sore throat dissipates)

- Never say never - If a person says he is never going to light himself on fire or do something else equally as stupid, then there is a 99.9% chance, he wont light himself on fire or something else equally as stupid.
- Beggars can't be choosers - I find this saying to be bullshit and extremely offensive. I think just because someone is begging for something(someone unfortunate enough to have to resort to begging), doesn't mean he or she should accept any shit sandwich given to him or her.
- Money doesn't grow on trees - It does for some people.
- Love makes the world go round - LOL if the saying is talking about love between people.
- Blood is thicker than water - Blood doesn't mean shit. Love and loyalty is what makes a family...
- Two heads are better than one - If the 2nd head is retarded or contentious then two heads are not better than one..
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder. - In real life, absence makes the heart grow colder because the absent person will quickly be replaced. And the absent person will quickly replace the person he or she is away from.

:the runs is fun:
What a load of shit....

The grass is always greener on the other side of the septic tank.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him do a back flip.

No matter where you go, there you are.

I know what it's called but you're not supposed to blow.

Don't ever change.


Does "Alles wird gut" (Everything's going to be alright) count? Because I want to punch people when they say it. It's just wrong.

Well I hear Ginger is THE THING.
But I don't know about the climate in Puerto Rico, I assume its rather hot and most of the remedies I know are for cold countries. But if you like traditional chemistry go for Ibuprofen Paracetamol mix. I found this in the tropics on holiday and it does make sense. They alleviate the symptoms long enough that you can rest well, regain strength and let your immune system do its thing.

She'll be right,mate....

this needs a change to be valid in modern times in germany, its now

public health insurance keeps the doctor away every day

So you have never been in a Tropical Island? Or any climate similar to it? (Say California, Florida, or even Spain which looks pretty warm of a country)

Yes It is hot here. We technically have 2 seasons. Sunny and Hurracain seasons. (So far we have not been hit by one Directly since Georges in 1998)

I believe you yourself have proven the saying. You just left off the last step.
You "Wanted to eat an apple, but I just cut myself with the knife I was removing the seeds with. Now I'm going to catch tetanus, ebola".
Now, ebola is rather contagious, so any wise doctor is certain to keep away from you.
QED.

To quote Captain Kirk when the he dumped warpcore that went critical in a quasar which caused a supernova. He might have said that after consuming four bottles of Romulan ale.