Posted August 07, 2016
Spoilers warning, obviously. Read at your own risk.
Are you still here? Well then.
So, this has lingered in the game files for years. I guess it was originally meant to be some sort of 'perfect ending', or maybe a post-credit cutscene, but it was never fully implemented in game (and I guess it never will, since, you know, DQDX shipped without it and it's not even mentioned in the developers' diary).
I really liked it though, and I think it's a shame to let it go to waste. For those who don't play with standard names and forgot who's who, I'll just remind you that:
-Azra is the librarian
-Markos is the knight
-Ketta is the huntress
-Slak is the barbarian
And here's the transcript:
A Secret Epilogue
Markos: ...and that's how the "Tipsy Tiger" song goes.
Azra: That's impressive... I had no idea you had such... vocal... range.
Azra: I mean, I don't even think I could hit some of those high notes.
Markos: One of the many perks of being a eunuch.
Azra: WHAT?
Markos: Just messing with you.
Azra: Wow...that was... I was going to have to rethink a lot of things there for a second...
Markos: Like wh-
(Slak and Ketta suddenly appear)
Slak: Yo!
Azra: Slak? Ketta? What are you guys doing here?
Slak: Well, it turns out that "Eye of the Rock" guy was a giant pushover! Killed him in like, one hit!
Ketta: And get this, he only had five heads!
Slak: I know! I feel so ripped off!
Ketta: So anyways, we whooped up on some cultists -
Slak: Man, those guys are just sad now!
Ketta: - but then we heard about this jewel called the "Dragon's Eye". Some ogre keeps it locked in a tower full of giant snakes.
Slak: And get this, the ogre has seven-
Ketta: They don't want to know that part!
Slak: I'm just saying, it's gonna make some weird trophies...
Ketta: Anyways, we were passing by, so we thought we'd say hi!
Azra: ...It's only been four days...
Slak: Oh, that reminds me, when you get to Ash, would you give this letter to my dad?
Slak: He thinks I'm still studying up in some Northern city, so don't mention the whole thing about the Pit.
Slak: He might like, get super mad and exile someone or something.
Markos: Exile?
Azra: Just who IS your father?
Slak: Duh, the Lord Regent.
Ketta: Seriously, you guys didn't know?
*Slak: Man, I sure am glad the crown prince is going to come of age before I would have to take over. Just thinking about ruling a kingdom makes my head want to explode..
**Slak: Where's the fun in that? I'm way more into making other people's heads explode!
Ketta: Don't tell 'em which way we went, okay?
Slak: Well, it's been great chatting, but we have to go make a trophy out of some ogre's -
Ketta: They don't want to know that part!
Slak: Now onwards! To VIOLENCE!
Markos: ...
Azra: My sentiments exactly.
*This line was changed in DQ DX. It used to be: "Ruling countries is for girls! Thank God I have a sister."
**This line was added in DQ DX.
Are you still here? Well then.
So, this has lingered in the game files for years. I guess it was originally meant to be some sort of 'perfect ending', or maybe a post-credit cutscene, but it was never fully implemented in game (and I guess it never will, since, you know, DQDX shipped without it and it's not even mentioned in the developers' diary).
I really liked it though, and I think it's a shame to let it go to waste. For those who don't play with standard names and forgot who's who, I'll just remind you that:
-Azra is the librarian
-Markos is the knight
-Ketta is the huntress
-Slak is the barbarian
And here's the transcript:
A Secret Epilogue
Markos: ...and that's how the "Tipsy Tiger" song goes.
Azra: That's impressive... I had no idea you had such... vocal... range.
Azra: I mean, I don't even think I could hit some of those high notes.
Markos: One of the many perks of being a eunuch.
Azra: WHAT?
Markos: Just messing with you.
Azra: Wow...that was... I was going to have to rethink a lot of things there for a second...
Markos: Like wh-
(Slak and Ketta suddenly appear)
Slak: Yo!
Azra: Slak? Ketta? What are you guys doing here?
Slak: Well, it turns out that "Eye of the Rock" guy was a giant pushover! Killed him in like, one hit!
Ketta: And get this, he only had five heads!
Slak: I know! I feel so ripped off!
Ketta: So anyways, we whooped up on some cultists -
Slak: Man, those guys are just sad now!
Ketta: - but then we heard about this jewel called the "Dragon's Eye". Some ogre keeps it locked in a tower full of giant snakes.
Slak: And get this, the ogre has seven-
Ketta: They don't want to know that part!
Slak: I'm just saying, it's gonna make some weird trophies...
Ketta: Anyways, we were passing by, so we thought we'd say hi!
Azra: ...It's only been four days...
Slak: Oh, that reminds me, when you get to Ash, would you give this letter to my dad?
Slak: He thinks I'm still studying up in some Northern city, so don't mention the whole thing about the Pit.
Slak: He might like, get super mad and exile someone or something.
Markos: Exile?
Azra: Just who IS your father?
Slak: Duh, the Lord Regent.
Ketta: Seriously, you guys didn't know?
*Slak: Man, I sure am glad the crown prince is going to come of age before I would have to take over. Just thinking about ruling a kingdom makes my head want to explode..
**Slak: Where's the fun in that? I'm way more into making other people's heads explode!
Ketta: Don't tell 'em which way we went, okay?
Slak: Well, it's been great chatting, but we have to go make a trophy out of some ogre's -
Ketta: They don't want to know that part!
Slak: Now onwards! To VIOLENCE!
Markos: ...
Azra: My sentiments exactly.
*This line was changed in DQ DX. It used to be: "Ruling countries is for girls! Thank God I have a sister."
**This line was added in DQ DX.
Post edited August 07, 2016 by Avogadro6
