After repeatedly getting the crash during the first loading screen (the one where it bugs out after getting to 1/3->1/2) I realised it would crash instantly if I used alt-enter (fullscreen).

This is another thing to try if the official suggestions (manually updating the graphics driver, codecs etc.) don't work.

Setting the launch options [-screen-width 1600 -screen-height 900] (smaller than my screen) finally got me to the main menu where I could set screen and resolution options. I'm guessing Unity was trying an unsupported draw outside the display drivers capabilities.
Windowed mode it is then.

Windows 8.1

Hope this helps someone.