When I run Carmageddon in hardware mode, the framerate is absolutely abysmal! I've tried every rendering mode in the configuration file, but no luck. When I try to run it in software mode, the resolution is ridiculously low. Again, I've tried to chage the resolution in the configuration file, but it just won't chage! What the hell am I doing wrong?
My PC specs:
Windows 8
AMD A6 3620 quad-core
AMD Radeon HD 8470 2GB
16GB of RAM

I'm getting freaking DESPERATE here! I've read every guide I've found, installed nGlide, but the game STILL RUNS LIKE ASS. I have NO idea how to get this massive pile of misery to work properly anymore!

Try the win95 patch.