Posted June 22, 2014
Who ever said I was the Hero of Light? :P
By the way, you're a better author than P. Athans ever was. A great read. :D
In BG3, the main character WILL be called Abdel Adrian and this name will be non changable without the name change DLC (ka-ching!!). The story takes place immediately after BG2 when the pillar of glowing stuff falls on *Spoiler Alert, so I'm not saying the name!!*, she/he/it immediately pulls off a reverse time spell and WHAM, Abdel Adrian is back in Candlekeep to do his whole adventure all over again!!!!
The game will be played entirely in first person and the DnD rules will be going out the window. Games today need to be retard frien.....errrr.......I mean "accessible" so that even the cabbage you bought and lost in the fridge 5 years ago can come out and play with minimum fuss. If we use DnD rules, it's enitrely likely that several gamers will write in with complaints that THAC0 should actually be spelled "taco" and demand that people with speech impediments shouldn't be writing our game manuals. This then leaves us open to further complains that the game makes no sense because it has nothing to do with tacos. Our customer service department only consists of a comatose monkey, a dead goldfish and a squashed fly. We just don't have the manpower to handle mass complaints which can be easily avoided.
In BG3, we will have an exciting range of NPCs to add to your party. The first is Eert regguh, an elven ranger who first picked up a bow at 5 years old and has never missed a shot since, Eert's skill with a bow is unmatched throughout the realms. Nibor dooh, a human master thief who first learned to steal when he was only 5 years old. There is no better theif in the realms than Nibor. Rehtom aseret, human cleric who first joined the clergy and cast her first cantrip when she was only 5 years old. There is no better healer in the realms than Rehtom. Bleedineers, a dwarven bard who discovered a knack for playing musical instruments when he was only 5 years old. The realms has yet to see a better bard. Finally, there's Knatssip, a half elven drunkard who single handedly chugged down a
keg of Firewine brandy when we was only 5 years old. There hasen't been a single drunkard in the realms able to drink Knatssip under the table. (Editors rant: See this Blizzard!!!!! I can create deep and interesting characters like yours!!!! Why you still no hire me?!?!?!)
Because I care about accessability, BG3 will also have a tutorial in Winthorps Inn. Here's an excerpt.
Greetings Adbel Adrian, this is my Inn and store. Do you know what a store is? It's a place where you can buy things that are being sold. Gold is used to make your purchases but be careful, if you don't have enough gold to buy something you want, you won't be able to buy it. To buy an item, move your cursor over to the item you wish to buy and click "buy". You will then be prompted to confirm your purchase. When you see the prompt "Are you sure you wish to make this purchase?", clicking "yes" add the item to your inventory and subtracts the appropriate amount of gold, clicking "no" will return you to the shops inventory window. Shall I repeat that?
There will be similar tutorials when it comes to moving, fighting, casting spells, using items (such as healing potions are potions that heal you) etc.
In Winthorps inn we will shamlessly be putting in Coca Cola and Pepsi vending machines (advertising revenue!!, ka-ching!!!). There will also be advertisements pasted all over the walls, here's an example. "Buy Safeguard soap, because crawling around the sewers in Baldur's Gate and then sitting next to someone in a tavern is a social faux pas." Baldur's Gate will have billboards everywhere (assuming enough companies come to us to advertise their products), walls in every locale will have pin up ads, advertisements will even appear on trees in wilderness areas. This is all for the benefit of the gamer to know what products are available to them.
There will be additional music but can't confirm too much at this time. The senile cat abusing yodelling granny will be back and we abduc .... er....... hired a group of 13 year old boys to do the soundtrack. Because they don't know anything about music, they're just going to be making fart noises with their armpits which will be good enough.
Because the game will be designed with accessability in mind and want to give gamers something new and fresh but still feeling familiar, it's likely we will be releasing the game as Baldur's Call of Gate Duty 3. Gamers familiar with the DRM free, DLC absent trainwreak of a "classic" (classic = old and crappy) game will be able to get into our game just as much as the 10 year old new comer with Tourettes syndrome.
The DRM and DLCs everyone loves will still be there and because this is a sequel, everyone is going to buy it, everyone is going to love it and everyone is going to buy Baldur's Call of Gate Duty 4 which will be scheduled for release 9 months after Baldur's Call of Gate Duty 3. If that doesn't impress you, you won't have long to wait until Baldur's Call of Gate Duty 5. Thanks to me, your adventure will never need to end (as long as you buy all the DLCs, hint hint).
