hedwards: The social norms do depend upon where you're living and how your raised. I was doing a lesson today where people had to choose which person wouldn't be saved and the only female in the scenario got tossed. The only explanation I got was that she's a woman. After trying to get a better one, I just removed her from the scenario and replaced her with a man.
Krypsyn: Yeah, I totally admit my bias in the matter. I grew up the South of the US... 'nuff said.
That aspect of Southern culture is a mixed bad as far as I can tell. It has good aspects and bad aspects, it's up to the individuals involved to have some sense about it.
It's one thing to deal with these situations online or in ones own culture, but trying to deal with them in somebody elses culture is kind of tricky. Especially since I'm not allowed to meddle in Chinese internal affairs.
Krypsyn: Your response was the right one, given the situation, but it is still sad. Reminds me of the story a year or s back of that Chinese couple that was having babies and selling them on the black market. When the women (not the man) was asks if she regretted it, she merely said that she regretted not having all boys to sell, since they were worth more money.
Honestly, it's an awkward situation to be in. Women definitely do come in second here and the girls in class didn't seem to object. But, by the same token, it wasn't right and I definitely didn't want to be seen as endorsing it either.
I wish there was a better response, but without being fluent in Chinese and fully versed in the cultural tradition that leads to it, I took the most productive point I could.
Back home, I'd say that women need absolutely no more protection than what's afforded to men. I remember a girl in my middle school trying to mug me and being very surprised that I was willing to hit her back. She had at least a year and 8 inches on me, I suppose she assumed that I was just going to accept that she was stealing my lunch money.
Krypsyn: If a woman attacks me (mugging counts) all bets are off for me. I am not going to go after a woman, but I am certainly going to defend myself. I have had a girl come at me with a kitchen knife before, and I didn't hesitate to disarm her, forcefully, with a frying pan (in was in a kitchen). When she ran off, I didn't give chase, but, dang, nobody pulls a knife on me... yeesh.
I took the most moderate approach to that I could, I did hit her, but it was literally two hits, I hit her and she hit the floor. I then took back my money and went along my merry way. It's not something that I particularly condone, but violence against men back home is a very serious issue that tends to get swept under the rug.
I've just seen too many open air beatings to tolerate or have much delusion that women are any less vicious or nasty than men are.
These days I'd console against such rash behavior because it's much more likely to wind up with the man being arrested than any sort of justice.
maycett: I'm Chinese, and just want to say that not all of us are like that. In fact, nobody I know is that misogynistic.
Jerks are jerks no matter where you're from, the culture thing is sometimes just an excuse imo.
And that's sort of the other thing there, I have a limited access to the culture there. I'm sorry, if my understanding is somewhat overstated or biased. I do see a fair amount of it, but without being fluent in Chinese I'm never sure how much of it I should believe.
But, it is there, and from experience the younger Chinese seem to be less beholden to the various -isms that their parents were. And I do have a genuine optimism for such things changing in years to come.
