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It's a numbers game, keep trying and you will eventually find what you're looking for, even if that includes going through a few relationships that ultimately fail, you'll get there, focus on the goal. If you let the rejection and loneliness and/or failed relationships embitter you, you lose. If nothing else, trust me on that last part, I it know 'cause I'm there...
Hey man, just wanted to recommend something called the "red pill" and the "manosphere". It's all about helping guys understand and operate in the relationship game. Be warned, it might be a bit "strong"/overstated sometimes, but there's good stuff there. There's lots a guy can do to increase social value, and understand what you need to do.

The first step is to work on yourself - become fit/healthy, confidence, be interesting, etc - but there's quite a bit more psychology behind attracting a mate also. (hint: most guys who are successful at dating will tell you it's not about being a "nice guy.") There's a whole "players" angle to this that's pretty unappetizing, and lots of guys that really don't think much of girls - but there are others who give really good advice on how to create, sustain interest from a woman and create long term relationships that work.

Here's a few pretty good sites imho to get you started if interested.
http://www.justfourguys.com/
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/
http://therationalmale.com/
http://youngmanredpill.wordpress.com/2013/03/30/why-the-manosphere-exists-in-one-post-for-beginners/
http://marriedmansexlife.com/blog/

Again - some of the posts might be a little raw, but I think there's some good stuff in here for guys who are wanting to attract a mate but aren't having much luck as of yet.
To the OP: you really, really, really don't want a girlfriend. It's like throwing your money into a black hole, only the black hole cheats on you. Just stick with prostitutes. You get in, you get out, you don't have to buy her expensive shoes the next day.
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angrypole: I am not going to lie though, I am overweight, socially awkward and still in school (becoming a teacher).
Being a bit older than you, take my word - being overweight is one of the easier problems in life. First, unless youre somehow sick about it, it isnt really dangerous - secondly if you so choose and put some attention to it you can simply get as fit as you like to.

I have some friends who are paralyzed neck down, puts things to bit different perspective..

Being socially akward. Well that gets only better by being in contact with people. Do you know why youre akward in social situations? Afraid of people or them thinking something about you? If it has something to do with you being overweight - you might solve two problems at once with luck :)

How being school is problem? is that supposed to be advantage with more girls and young women around? :D
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angrypole: I am not going to lie though, I am overweight, socially awkward and still in school (becoming a teacher).
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iippo: Being a bit older than you, take my word - being overweight is one of the easier problems in life. First, unless youre somehow sick about it, it isnt really dangerous - secondly if you so choose and put some attention to it you can simply get as fit as you like to.

I have some friends who are paralyzed neck down, puts things to bit different perspective..

Being socially akward. Well that gets only better by being in contact with people. Do you know why youre akward in social situations? Afraid of people or them thinking something about you? If it has something to do with you being overweight - you might solve two problems at once with luck :)

How being school is problem? is that supposed to be advantage with more girls and young women around? :D
I just think that I have many ideas and conceptions that are different from what other people think/would like to believe. For example, I play games that are old and enjoy them very much. Many of the people my age only play the latest games with shiny graphics. If I try to have a conversation about the most important games that I value, they will think that I am weird and likely not approach me again. I have not met many people with thoughtful personalities. Many of my acquaintances only care about doing what other people do. This is the same, if not more so true of girls that are friends. It is hard to pursue a woman with such shallow convictions and personalities. It sounds like I am weird person even talking about it and thinking about the reasons why I feel awkward.
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rrr8891: To the OP: you really, really, really don't want a girlfriend. It's like throwing your money into a black hole, only the black hole cheats on you. Just stick with prostitutes. You get in, you get out, you don't have to buy her expensive shoes the next day.
To be honest, sex is not something I am after. I looking for a relationship where I could be truly happy. If I could have the chance to have a relationship like James Randi and Deyvi Pena, I would. I am not even gay, but they just look so happy in interviews together.
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fartheststar: Hey man, just wanted to recommend something called the "red pill" and the "manosphere". It's all about helping guys understand and operate in the relationship game. Be warned, it might be a bit "strong"/overstated sometimes, but there's good stuff there. There's lots a guy can do to increase social value, and understand what you need to do.

The first step is to work on yourself - become fit/healthy, confidence, be interesting, etc - but there's quite a bit more psychology behind attracting a mate also. (hint: most guys who are successful at dating will tell you it's not about being a "nice guy.") There's a whole "players" angle to this that's pretty unappetizing, and lots of guys that really don't think much of girls - but there are others who give really good advice on how to create, sustain interest from a woman and create long term relationships that work.

Here's a few pretty good sites imho to get you started if interested.
http://www.justfourguys.com/
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/
http://therationalmale.com/
http://youngmanredpill.wordpress.com/2013/03/30/why-the-manosphere-exists-in-one-post-for-beginners/
http://marriedmansexlife.com/blog/

Again - some of the posts might be a little raw, but I think there's some good stuff in here for guys who are wanting to attract a mate but aren't having much luck as of yet.
Yes, the tone is bit strong. I don't know if I would be better off making signification changes to my attitude towards women.
Post edited January 31, 2014 by angrypole
TBH, once you hit your late 20s the pool of available partners shrinks substantially and very quickly as everybody else is busy getting married.

But, I think the thing that gets extremely annoying is all the women out there that don't mind flirting with a guy just because they're feeling unattractive. Those bitches pretty much need to burn in hell, it gets really old having women fighting over you and picking the one that's only interested because somebody else is. They pretty much screw things up for everybody else.
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fablefox: I'm 35 this year, never been in relationship. Never been on a date either.

I don't know how to explain it, but when I was a teenager, I easily fall in love and have a crush. The most serious moment when I was in high school equivalent (16-17) where I really have a crush on this girl. It was so serious that if she liked me too, I would have gotten married at 18, before going to the university.

But she not interested in me. At the university, I also have a crush on this woman, but I didn't pursue it because of my problem with the university and dropped out.

I never fall in love ever since. Life was just going to work, get rest at weekend, and go to work again. Ever since 2000.

The problem become harder when early on my job was mostly men (machinery and build house) or back office (loan processor, and now DBA) - and most people already married.

Sometimes I do go out at weekend (moves / bookstore) but again, going out alone to these places is not going to land you girlfriends.

Of course, since I'm a muslim and this is Islamic country, people tend to marry early (majority graduates get their significant other at universities) and get married once graduated.

Oh well... live and let live I guess.
damn university messed my life too, well your situation was inspiring, live and let live
It's worth noting that love is probably the stupidest reason ever devised of to get married. Green cards, inheritance and because she's pregnant and there's no way out are reasons to get married. Love is a reason to specifically not get married.

Yeah, I'm rather cynical, but making life plans based upon brainchemistry that can be replicated at will never seemed to me to be a good idea.
Some psychobabble follows...

Being overweight and socially awkward can be overcome. As you work on one it'll be easier to work on the other. Start with small goals (5 pounds, and maybe simply laughing more) and as you see progress in the little things you'll be motivated to keep going. In the end, you need to be comfortable with, and gain confidence in, yourself. Women will see a confident person and that will help lead them to want to get to know you. That, and it's going to help you in other ways the rest of your life.

I'll put this out there, too: if you're a teacher who doesn't show confidence in yourself, the kids will eat you alive.
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HereForTheBeer: Some psychobabble follows...

Being overweight and socially awkward can be overcome. As you work on one it'll be easier to work on the other. Start with small goals (5 pounds, and maybe simply laughing more) and as you see progress in the little things you'll be motivated to keep going. In the end, you need to be comfortable with, and gain confidence in, yourself. Women will see a confident person and that will help lead them to want to get to know you. That, and it's going to help you in other ways the rest of your life.

I'll put this out there, too: if you're a teacher who doesn't show confidence in yourself, the kids will eat you alive.
That's by and large sound advice. It's worth noting that charisma is something that one can develop over time. Just look at Steve Jobs from the '80s versus Steve Jobs in the noughties. He went from being seriously nerdy to being one of the most charismatic people in the world.

All it takes is power, presence and warmth. I know folks here will probably find it hard to believe, but in meatspace, I'm incredibly charismatic. http://www.amazon.com/The-Charisma-Myth-Personal-Magnetism/dp/1591845947
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angrypole: Yes, the tone is bit strong. I don't know if I would be better off making signification changes to my attitude towards women.
I just read one of the blogs - this post might be directed at someone like you.
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2014/01/28/its-never-too-late/

btw, most of these blogs say the odds start turning in the guys favor around maybe age 27-28 and up through his 30s. All the girls that are putting off relationships have the clock counting down on them (women's attractiveness as marriage partners - especially if you want kids really falls off when they get into their 30s and fertility drops and other risks increase).

But I encourage you to read through. Some of these lines of thought. Underlying all of it is a proactive theme of doing things you can do. It's also "don't do" some things that hinder your efforts.

Anyhow, I'm old (43) and have been married over 20 yrs so I'm not in the game. But I do think there's quite a bit of validity to some of these points, although I do think some of the posts are too "over the top" for shock value - but they'll argue many guys need to be shocked if they want to understand how the game is played and to play better. Underneath it all, I think they are honestly concerned about helping guys not end up old, single and without meaningful relationships.
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HereForTheBeer: Some psychobabble follows...

Being overweight and socially awkward can be overcome. As you work on one it'll be easier to work on the other. Start with small goals (5 pounds, and maybe simply laughing more) and as you see progress in the little things you'll be motivated to keep going. In the end, you need to be comfortable with, and gain confidence in, yourself. Women will see a confident person and that will help lead them to want to get to know you. That, and it's going to help you in other ways the rest of your life.

I'll put this out there, too: if you're a teacher who doesn't show confidence in yourself, the kids will eat you alive.
Thanks.
I think a lot of people misinterpret me being overweight. I know I from the U.S.A. but I am just overweight. Not obese. I cycle to work and school, but I don't have a gym body. That is what I meant.
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HereForTheBeer: Some psychobabble follows...

Being overweight and socially awkward can be overcome. As you work on one it'll be easier to work on the other. Start with small goals (5 pounds, and maybe simply laughing more) and as you see progress in the little things you'll be motivated to keep going. In the end, you need to be comfortable with, and gain confidence in, yourself. Women will see a confident person and that will help lead them to want to get to know you. That, and it's going to help you in other ways the rest of your life.

I'll put this out there, too: if you're a teacher who doesn't show confidence in yourself, the kids will eat you alive.
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angrypole: Thanks.
I think a lot of people misinterpret me being overweight. I know I from the U.S.A. but I am just overweight. Not obese. I cycle to work and school, but I don't have a gym body. That is what I meant.
TBH, that may well be true, but you should realize that unless you've left the US for a place where everybody isn't a fatty, it's easy to underestimate how fat one is. I didn't realize how fat I was until I spent a year in China and lost about 20 pounds that I didn't think I could lose.
For what little comfort it's worth: I felt exactly the same as the way you described yourself when I was 23. I swear. I really did. The same. Lost cause.

I'm 31 now and I've been married to my lovely wife for a little more than 5 months. Couldn't be happier. We dated for about 5 years so I was about 25 when we met.

So, I would say there's hope. There is.
Post edited January 31, 2014 by stoicsentry
Got engaged this week so I have to say there is always hope.