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General discussion (archive)No Girlfriend(254 posts)(254 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted January 31, 2014
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Fenixp: Oh wow, how did you manage to dig that up? That topic was fucking awesome
Usually every month or so, someone on here - either in thread or via PM will bring up such a topic that requires me (okay, maybe my overpowered humour gland requires me) to say "Do you have a printer?" as a joke - and then of course over time it's been easier to bookmark the thread and link it rather than explain.
It's given one or two people a good laugh too when they've read it! :)
Post edited January 31, 2014 by Sachys
Posted January 31, 2014
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Petrell: SNIP
have hard time remembering names and faces (thanks to lack of social contact and bullying early in life probably) that makes it near impossible to form any sort of relationships with anyone (takes too long to get acquainted and forget quickly).
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hedwards: You can still learn to develop facial recognition skills. I had issues with that when I was younger and after years of practice, I've gotten to the point where I can generally tell people apart and remember what they look like. It used to take ages for me to remember a face and a name, but I've gotten rather good at it, now it only takes me a few seconds in most cases.
That would require constant contact with many people for prolonged lenght of time, things few long time uneployed has. I don't have social cirles outside my parents and sister and short cources, odd jobs and ifrequent volunteer work hardly gives me opportunites to build such. It takes way too long for me too. Here's an example: I was employed for year and 4 months. It took me months to reliably remember the other three employees names (thank god for business cards and thankfully boss was known to be due to being employed there previously). I was with them and heard, read, said their names constantly due to work and close proximity of our work places so that's understandable.

BUT there were 30-40 other people working in the building. People I met constantly on cafeteria, on my way to do something or even due work and I barely learned any of their names and am already forgetting the few I learned. Most faces are already gone. This is just 7 months after end of my contract. School's even worse. Even after being on a course for over a year, I barely get to know students (usually 3-4 by name) and rarely learn to remember the teachers names. All of them are now forgotten. It's pretty horrible to meet people who you don't recognize but seem to know you very well only to learn you studied in same class with them just few years earlier. Not to mention when there are lot of people who know you (my hometown isn't that big), but you can't recall any of them.


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hedwards: But, good post, nice to have some perspective on the matter.

BTW, I don't think that's much of a rant, or at least it didn't come off as a rant to me.
It tends to burst out sometimes. It's pretty terrifying when it happens in RL and I already know I'm going to regret writing any of it.
Posted January 31, 2014
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keeveek: Don't worry, man. 3D printers will get cheaper and cheaper over time, and everybody will have a gf some day.

Some day.
I read a book called Love and Sex, With Robots. Pretty interesting read. I am not sure if i want to live kind of life. One of complete selfishness and self gratification.
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angrypole: I am just wondering what the percentage of goglodytes who have never been in a relationship. It seems like many of my friends have never had any kind of romantic life. I wonder if it something to do with us, or if you guys are in the same situation. I just turned 23 last week, and it seems like I am doomed. I don't know if it because of the way the media portrays it, but it seems pretty devastating if you let it get to you. I am not going to lie though, I am overweight, socially awkward and still in school (becoming a teacher). I just wonder that if in two years, when I have my bachelors degree, it will be too late to pursue a meaningful relationship. For example, I was just stood up today on a date to see the last showing of Gravity. It feels terrible to get that text that they are not going to be able to come, then having to respond to them the next day or whatever. I don't know what to do. I feel like moving to another country, where my social awkwardness is perceived less strongly. Mexican women seem like fantastic people and great cooks.

tl;dr

Are you a permavirgin?

Code for Zeno Clash (Steam)
D4BI5-C0IIZ-GG55B
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Crassmaster: The only piece of advice I can think of to even give you is, unfortunately, really easy to say...and a Hell of a lot harder to actually do (Sucks, I know). Stop worrying about it. The more you build this up in your head, the bigger a deal it becomes and the more anxious you get. It's true of basically anything, whether we're talking about freaking out over a big test or worrying about meeting a girl. It just continues to grow into this increasingly insurmountable problem that you can't get past or even see around.

As for being 23 and never having had a girlfriend, the only people who can make you feel bad about that are yourself and judgmental asswipes whose opinion you shouldn't bother listening to in the first place. So that leaves you. I think a lot of it comes down to how you perceive yourself. If you're going to define who you are as 'the 23 year old who hasn't had a girlfriend' rather than 'the guy who is well on his way to his bachelor's degree and setting himself up for the future', you're going to feel rather differently about yourself.

I struggle with self confidence a bit, but not nearly as much as I previously did. For myself, a lot of it was sticking with a job I detested and just generally hating everything that I was doing. Once I started making changes to the way that I was living, working and a lot of other things, I started to feel a lot happier and more confident. And when you're happy and confident, you tend to get noticed more often and act more...well...confidently. I can't say what might help you get there, because only you can really figure that out (Again, sucks...I know). There's nothing wrong with spending a bit of time every now and again taking stock of where you are and where you need to get better, so long as it doesn't turn into wasted years of navel gazing (made that mistake, too).
Thanks. This a cool way to think about it. As you mention, it is hard to just stop worrying about. The thing is, many of my friends have to brag and remind me about it too much.
Post edited January 31, 2014 by angrypole
Posted January 31, 2014
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keeveek: Don't worry, man. 3D printers will get cheaper and cheaper over time, and everybody will have a gf some day.

Some day.
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angrypole: I read a book called Love and Sex, With Robots. Pretty interesting read. I am not sure if i want to live kind of life. One of complete selfishness and self gratification.
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Crassmaster: The only piece of advice I can think of to even give you is, unfortunately, really easy to say...and a Hell of a lot harder to actually do (Sucks, I know). Stop worrying about it. The more you build this up in your head, the bigger a deal it becomes and the more anxious you get. It's true of basically anything, whether we're talking about freaking out over a big test or worrying about meeting a girl. It just continues to grow into this increasingly insurmountable problem that you can't get past or even see around.

As for being 23 and never having had a girlfriend, the only people who can make you feel bad about that are yourself and judgmental asswipes whose opinion you shouldn't bother listening to in the first place. So that leaves you. I think a lot of it comes down to how you perceive yourself. If you're going to define who you are as 'the 23 year old who hasn't had a girlfriend' rather than 'the guy who is well on his way to his bachelor's degree and setting himself up for the future', you're going to feel rather differently about yourself.

I struggle with self confidence a bit, but not nearly as much as I previously did. For myself, a lot of it was sticking with a job I detested and just generally hating everything that I was doing. Once I started making changes to the way that I was living, working and a lot of other things, I started to feel a lot happier and more confident. And when you're happy and confident, you tend to get noticed more often and act more...well...confidently. I can't say what might help you get there, because only you can really figure that out (Again, sucks...I know). There's nothing wrong with spending a bit of time every now and again taking stock of where you are and where you need to get better, so long as it doesn't turn into wasted years of navel gazing (made that mistake, too).
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angrypole: Thanks. This a cool way to think about it. As you mention, it is hard to just stop worrying about. The thing is, many of my friends have to brag and remind me about it too much.
See, that isn't cool. My friends and I often bust each other's balls over things, but we never venture into territory that's genuinely going to hurt. Hopefully your friends just don't realize that they're actually making the problem worse. Have you thought about mentioning it? Again, I realize it's a Hell of a lot easier for me to suggest than for you to actually do, but it might help. At the very least, mentioning it to any of your friends who you're particularly close with probably can't hurt.
Posted January 31, 2014
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Tallima: fr33kSh0w2012 has something for that. (sorry, couldn't resist)
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fr33kSh0w2012: Hey, Cut that out! That's something Private! when I was Very young I had an One night stand (or was it day there IDK) and Reptilian E.T. woman I was on a post apocalypse earth (I thnk) she put Her tail in I think you Know where I'm refering to and Massaged Prostate gland while we were Intimate OKAY! Lets just say Tears were Pissing down my face, and I was squealing with Pleasure she opened my eyes to things that I never Knew of of course she made me of the age (strange Pill with what appeared to be a galaxy swirling inside it made me 10 years older instantly (That felt weird) gave me a yellow cube thing that Regrew me where I got Circumcised almost instantly) She told me she was me this was back in '89 BTW after Fukashima blew up and all the Nuclear reactors in the states exploded one after the other of which Irradiated the whole planet and Because of a D.N.A. Virus I supposedly Have that no one else has. which flips everything she had a cat shaped face with eyes that slightly wrap part way round her head Looked simlar to SekMet in this picture

[url=http://www.elfwood.com/~nordman2/Sekhmet-Darkwing.3519205.html]http://www.elfwood.com/~nordman2/Sekhmet-Darkwing.3519205.html[/url]

No that Crocodile cat thing wasn't there

just change the skin from cat fur to BLACK Lizard or serpentine skin (there was NO HAIR on her body) she had very very TINY diamond shapes in her skin (scales) was softer then silk / satin and the end of her tail was soft and Tongue like she only had Three fingers and a thumb on both hands on her hands we retractable talons (she'd stretch her hands out and they came out I saw one when she sliced her hand with one to prove that she was me she sliced the back of her right hand with it from ten feet away as she told me to look down at my right hand I didn't have to as soon as she did it I felt a sharp sting on the back of my right hand I looked down and there was blood on my hand and a cut where she cut her hand and in the exact same shape which was small line I freaked out about it) and her Feet were like in that picture NOW DO YOU GET THE PICTURE! How could anyone resist THAT! she was Extraterrestrial Looking Yes! Now can you see why I am the way I am! Geez.. I wanted it to stay private it's my private Memories geez.. and BTW no human female could keep Me in 'Climax' Land and squealing for seventeen (17) and a Half hours! Now stop with the sorry, couldn't resist that jokes okay Geez.. I feel so mentally unclothed now! FWIW I wanted to keep these things Private. Do I have to explain myself and Why I'm like the way I am? I 'm talking about this in a subjective Manner I'll take it down or get one of the Gog.com staff to if anyone (meaning any of you and the Gog staff) finds this offensive! Now leave me alone Okay!

Let's just say My time with her was Magical Okay!
WTF am I reading?
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angrypole: I read a book called Love and Sex, With Robots. Pretty interesting read. I am not sure if i want to live kind of life. One of complete selfishness and self gratification.

Thanks. This a cool way to think about it. As you mention, it is hard to just stop worrying about. The thing is, many of my friends have to brag and remind me about it too much.
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Crassmaster: See, that isn't cool. My friends and I often bust each other's balls over things, but we never venture into territory that's genuinely going to hurt. Hopefully your friends just don't realize that they're actually making the problem worse. Have you thought about mentioning it? Again, I realize it's a Hell of a lot easier for me to suggest than for you to actually do, but it might help. At the very least, mentioning it to any of your friends who you're particularly close with probably can't hurt.
Yeah, I suppose is like the phenomenon where people might feel poorly about themselves try to artificially elevate themselves. When we chill out it is nonstop stories about him and his girl. Another thing that does it is when you are hitting it off with a chick, they are super fast to let you know that they have boyfriend or husband. Conversations seriously go like this 9 out of 10 times.

So what's up?
Not much, just got out of X class.
That's cool, how was it?
It was fine, but I was too busy being texted by my BF to concentrate on it.
:( Oh thats too bad, maybe someone else has notes.

Does. Not. Fail. Like 3 responses into a conversation and boom.
Post edited January 31, 2014 by angrypole
Posted January 31, 2014
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fr33kSh0w2012: Hey, Cut that out! That's something Private! when I was Very young I had an One night stand (or was it day there IDK) and Reptilian E.T. woman I was on a post apocalypse earth (I thnk) she put Her tail in I think you Know where I'm refering to and Massaged Prostate gland while we were Intimate OKAY! Lets just say Tears were Pissing down my face, and I was squealing with Pleasure she opened my eyes to things that I never Knew of of course she made me of the age (strange Pill with what appeared to be a galaxy swirling inside it made me 10 years older instantly (That felt weird) gave me a yellow cube thing that Regrew me where I got Circumcised almost instantly) She told me she was me this was back in '89 BTW after Fukashima blew up and all the Nuclear reactors in the states exploded one after the other of which Irradiated the whole planet and Because of a D.N.A. Virus I supposedly Have that no one else has. which flips everything she had a cat shaped face with eyes that slightly wrap part way round her head Looked simlar to SekMet in this picture

[url=http://www.elfwood.com/~nordman2/Sekhmet-Darkwing.3519205.html]http://www.elfwood.com/~nordman2/Sekhmet-Darkwing.3519205.html[/url]

No that Crocodile cat thing wasn't there

just change the skin from cat fur to BLACK Lizard or serpentine skin (there was NO HAIR on her body) she had very very TINY diamond shapes in her skin (scales) was softer then silk / satin and the end of her tail was soft and Tongue like she only had Three fingers and a thumb on both hands on her hands we retractable talons (she'd stretch her hands out and they came out I saw one when she sliced her hand with one to prove that she was me she sliced the back of her right hand with it from ten feet away as she told me to look down at my right hand I didn't have to as soon as she did it I felt a sharp sting on the back of my right hand I looked down and there was blood on my hand and a cut where she cut her hand and in the exact same shape which was small line I freaked out about it) and her Feet were like in that picture NOW DO YOU GET THE PICTURE! How could anyone resist THAT! she was Extraterrestrial Looking Yes! Now can you see why I am the way I am! Geez.. I wanted it to stay private it's my private Memories geez.. and BTW no human female could keep Me in 'Climax' Land and squealing for seventeen (17) and a Half hours! Now stop with the sorry, couldn't resist that jokes okay Geez.. I feel so mentally unclothed now! FWIW I wanted to keep these things Private. Do I have to explain myself and Why I'm like the way I am? I 'm talking about this in a subjective Manner I'll take it down or get one of the Gog.com staff to if anyone (meaning any of you and the Gog staff) finds this offensive! Now leave me alone Okay!

Let's just say My time with her was Magical Okay!
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angrypole: WTF am I reading?
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Crassmaster: See, that isn't cool. My friends and I often bust each other's balls over things, but we never venture into territory that's genuinely going to hurt. Hopefully your friends just don't realize that they're actually making the problem worse. Have you thought about mentioning it? Again, I realize it's a Hell of a lot easier for me to suggest than for you to actually do, but it might help. At the very least, mentioning it to any of your friends who you're particularly close with probably can't hurt.
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angrypole: Yeah, I suppose is like the phenomenon where people might feel poorly about themselves try to artificially elevate themselves. When we chill out it is nonstop stories about him and his girl. Another thing that does it is when you are hitting it off with a chick, they are super fast to let you know that they have boyfriend or husband. Conversations seriously go like this 9 out of 10 times.

So what's up?
Not much, just got out of X class.
That's cool, how was it?
It was fine, but I was too busy being texted by my BF to concentrate on it.
:( Oh thats too bad, maybe someone else has notes.

Does. Not. Fail. Like 3 responses into a conversation and boom.
You're probably absolutely on the money about your buddy who likes to talk. I was that guy for a while, the one with no self confidence so I tried to cover it up with a bunch of false bravado all the time. Finally, I realized that being an unlikable douchebag wasn't really the answer, and stopped acting out. :) It could also be that this is the first relationship he's had and he's so hyped up that he really doesn't realize that he's coming off that way.

Yeah, she's pretty much telling you NO right off the bat. On the one hand, it sucks to hear. On the other hand, you don't ever want to be the other guy with someone who happens to be hitched. What you can do is sort of change how you're hearing her. Maybe she isn't ready, or maybe she just isn't attracted to you. That's fine. I'm willing to bet you aren't attracted to every woman you see, right? Does that mean that you despise the ones you aren't in to? Probably not. Along the same lines, just because a girl isn't attracted to you doesn't mean that she's calling you a piece of crap. You just aren't her type. That's okay.
Posted January 31, 2014
Hear some words from a stupid guy:
I never had a "relationship", as people call them at this time and age. I'm 21, I'm not overweight, I'm not socially awkward, so that's not the issue, it's all about oneself. Almost all of my friends have/had relationships, and I'm the only dude in the group with fewer problems and complains. When you stop paying attention to all the bullsh*t society throws at you, it just fades away. You shouldn't be forced to do something you don't want/need.
Remember, you are unique. Stay true, speak to girls, don't overestimate them and don't try to force things. How do you know you want a relationship if you never had one?
Sex, emotions, sharing things without commitment is great, try it. You don't need a relationship to be with somebody, to like somebody, to miss somebody.
Posted January 31, 2014
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angrypole: So what's up?
Not much, just got out of X class.
That's cool, how was it?
It was fine, but I was too busy being texted by my BF to concentrate on it.
:( Oh thats too bad, maybe someone else has notes.

Does. Not. Fail. Like 3 responses into a conversation and boom.
At least she's Decent over in Australia women Say "Go twist your cock up your ass and fuck yourself you fucking Wanker!"
Then they Say "Come near me again and I'll Cut you cock of you stupid fucking cunt" then they Say "I'LL get the Cops, I'll get the cops and they will fuck you up the ass, NOW FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!"

Women In Australia are friggin Psychopaths!
Post edited January 31, 2014 by fr33kSh0w2012
Posted January 31, 2014
I have a friend who has a Doctorate in Psychology, and he believes that having a relationship is very important for developmental reasons.

Like others have said, don't force it. You're at a time in your life where you're probably confused and/or frustrated ( In more ways than one ). The thing you definitely want to work on is just gradually get out of your comfort zone. Try to do things you normally wouldn't, especially if it means you can meet new people. Such as getting involved in clubs at your university or volunteering.

When it comes to getting involved with a woman, do not get hung up on one person unless they show interest. Try to spend time with them, invite them to do something they like. If they don't show any interest, move on.
Posted January 31, 2014
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Sachys: "Do you own a printer or not?"
This question, asked by one perfect GOG stranger to another, is so full of understanding and concern, that it restores my faith in humanity :-D

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stoicsentry: I'm 31 now and I've been married to my lovely wife for a little more than 5 months.
I'd say congratulation is in order. The last time I heard about your planned wedding was more than a year ago I gather. So congrats!
Post edited January 31, 2014 by tarangwydion
Posted January 31, 2014
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Sachys: "Do you own a printer or not?"
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tarangwydion: This question, asked by one perfect GOG stranger to another, is so full of understanding and concern, that it restores my faith in humanity :-D

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stoicsentry: I'm 31 now and I've been married to my lovely wife for a little more than 5 months.
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tarangwydion: I'd say congratulation is in order. The last time I heard about your planned wedding was more than a year ago I gather. So congrats!
Thanks!

I just hope the original poster can believe in himself, he will probably find the person for him!
Posted January 31, 2014
This thread has gone so long and to so many odd topics that I feel completely justified posting the following.

What you (the OP) need is a good bromance, a close friendship with another man to share the intellectual and existential pleasures of life that most women are incapable of appreciating. Think Ryu and Ken in the Street Fighter anime series, or perhaps Ben and Chon from the film Savages.

For physical pleasures, you need someone like me to teach you how to find prostitutes, how to tell fake photos and police operations from genuine escorts, how much to pay for services, common lingo, what to say, best practices, etc.

See:

Word of the Day - Bromance (nigahiga)
Rad Bromance (Nacho Punch)

Or, if that doesn't work for you, here's a fantastic song about waiting for that special someone:

Eternity by Imelda May

;)
Posted January 31, 2014
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elendiel7: I have a friend who has a Doctorate in Psychology, and he believes that having a relationship is very important for developmental reasons.

Like others have said, don't force it. You're at a time in your life where you're probably confused and/or frustrated ( In more ways than one ). The thing you definitely want to work on is just gradually get out of your comfort zone. Try to do things you normally wouldn't, especially if it means you can meet new people. Such as getting involved in clubs at your university or volunteering.

When it comes to getting involved with a woman, do not get hung up on one person unless they show interest. Try to spend time with them, invite them to do something they like. If they don't show any interest, move on.
I believe that's relatively well supported in the literature. Touch and sex are terribly important over the long term. Even if a person has to touch themselves, it's preferable to going completely without. Self hugs are also something that does help stimulate oxytocin production as well.

The irony though is that while psychologists agree that sex and relationships are important, good luck getting insurance to cover treatment. Anything involving gender or sex is not going to be covered regardless of what the consequences are. I think the resulting issues from being molested or raped are pretty much the exception to that.
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tarangwydion: This question, asked by one perfect GOG stranger to another, is so full of understanding and concern, that it restores my faith in humanity :-D

I'd say congratulation is in order. The last time I heard about your planned wedding was more than a year ago I gather. So congrats!
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stoicsentry: Thanks!

I just hope the original poster can believe in himself, he will probably find the person for him!
There's always online dating. There's no rule that says you have to meet any of those people in person if there isn't a spark, but for people with severe anxiety, just knowing that somebody is trying to chat them up can be enough of a boost to help solve the problem.
Post edited January 31, 2014 by hedwards
Posted January 31, 2014
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hedwards: There's always online dating. There's no rule that says you have to meet any of those people in person if there isn't a spark, but for people with severe anxiety, just knowing that somebody is trying to chat them up can be enough of a boost to help solve the problem.
I actually met my wife thanks to an online dating site. I didn't find here there, but meeting a few girls got me in touch with more people. That circle can then only keep expanding.
Posted January 31, 2014
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hedwards: There's always online dating. There's no rule that says you have to meet any of those people in person if there isn't a spark, but for people with severe anxiety, just knowing that somebody is trying to chat them up can be enough of a boost to help solve the problem.
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Fenixp: I actually met my wife thanks to an online dating site. I didn't find here there, but meeting a few girls got me in touch with more people. That circle can then only keep expanding.
Lucky Bastard!
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussion (archive)No Girlfriend(254 posts)(254 posts)
(254 posts)