Leucius: I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of depression at the moment. I keep reminding myself of the good things I have in life, such as a comfortable apartment, good neighbors, good community, a job, etc but I'm feeling a bit depressed because I feel from time to time like I've failed.

I know the past is in the rearview mirror, and I know I can't change the past or make up for lost opportunities, but it still gets me down.

I look at where I was at a year and a half, two years ago, and where I'm at now, and it's leaps and bounds a better situation in every respect. It's good to be back in my homestate where people are upfront with whether they like you or not, and not have to worry about stupid things like when I lived out west being eavesdropped on constantly.

I don't even know why I'm posting this, other than to say if you're suffering from the Holiday Blues, you aren't alone.

I always thought by the time I hit my 30's I'd own my own home, and short of a miracle I'm realizing that it's probably never going to happen. I think this is the most depressing thought, and the biggest reason I feel like a failure. I shake myself out of it by saying some day maybe my music will take off, or some day maybe the right person will read my book and I'll start getting enough royalties to get out of debt and put down a down payment on a home, but that day seems increasingly out of reach.

I haven't felt this depressed in a long time, no worries, I'm not suicidal or anything like that, but I feel like dried up dog shit on a boot heel.

/endpityparty

To make up for my venting, here's a code for Fallout 1,2 and Tactics:

T##H-HP4N-3#PM-9MKA

# = F

Leucius: Yay just heard back from Schizophrenia.com regarding my book - appears they are not interested in a collection of poetry written by a schizophrenic.

Leucius: Thanks, fortune, I needed a laugh.

Yay just heard back from Schizophrenia.com regarding my book - appears they are not interested in a collection of poetry written by a schizophrenic.

Leucius: I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of depression at the moment. I keep reminding myself of the good things I have in life, such as a comfortable apartment, good neighbors, good community, a job, etc but I'm feeling a bit depressed because I feel from time to time like I've failed.

I know the past is in the rearview mirror, and I know I can't change the past or make up for lost opportunities, but it still gets me down.

I look at where I was at a year and a half, two years ago, and where I'm at now, and it's leaps and bounds a better situation in every respect. It's good to be back in my homestate where people are upfront with whether they like you or not, and not have to worry about stupid things like when I lived out west being eavesdropped on constantly.

I don't even know why I'm posting this, other than to say if you're suffering from the Holiday Blues, you aren't alone.

I always thought by the time I hit my 30's I'd own my own home, and short of a miracle I'm realizing that it's probably never going to happen. I think this is the most depressing thought, and the biggest reason I feel like a failure. I shake myself out of it by saying some day maybe my music will take off, or some day maybe the right person will read my book and I'll start getting enough royalties to get out of debt and put down a down payment on a home, but that day seems increasingly out of reach.

I haven't felt this depressed in a long time, no worries, I'm not suicidal or anything like that, but I feel like dried up dog shit on a boot heel.

/endpityparty

To make up for my venting, here's a code for Fallout 1,2 and Tactics:

T##H-HP4N-3#PM-9MKA

# = F

tinyE: I'll be 38 next month, haven't been laid since I was 19 and I live with my parents.

Feel better now? :D

tinyE: I live like a king and I don't do anything so even with no naughty/naughty I still feel like I'm living a charmed life. I'm cool.

monkeydelarge: And 10 years from now, I'm sure Japan will start making sex robots.

tinyE: Yeah, but I'll be getting busy with mine when the washing machine breaks flooding the kitchen with sudsy water causing her to short out. So then I'll be forced to travel to the "forbidden zone" to get another one and to do that I'll need to hire a tough as nails yet sexy zone guide to get me in and out alive. Well one thing will lead to another and I'll end up falling in love with the guide leading me to abandon the robot and fly out of the forbidden zone with the guide in tow rather than the robot.

monkeydelarge: And 10 years from now, I'm sure Japan will start making sex robots.