Not saying that this is the case here, but I remember that when I was a kid, what the adults saw was often very different from what was really happening. The really smart bullies would often manage to seem like the victim.

Yup. I was going to elaborate, but it drove me into an emotional rant three times, so I guess I won't. All the local campaigns I've seen have been total humbug.

This world is full of so much hatred. It is an emotion I can safely say, I have no idea what it feels like; I'm not sure if that is good or bad. It breaks my heart to see anyone (no matter how many mistakes they may have made) end up like this.

I don't usually like to admit this (as it usually leads to rather uncomfortable situations) but I am Bi-Polar. I can empathize with her situation (even if I can't understand it, as I am not a teenage girl), and while depression for me occurs in a very different matter (extreme lethargy); I can understand how depression and anxiety can lead to such paths as she took.

That all being said, it is despicable how people would speak ill of someone who was obviously in need of some form of catharsis. Be it therapy or just someone for her to talk to. I realize she could have done things to help her situation, but we often neglect to remember hindsight is often 20/20.

I am not trying to say I condone her actions, but I do understand her reasoning. People make mistakes, but NO ONE has the right to strip another person of their dignity. The guy who caused this will have to live with his actions for the rest of his life, and karma permitting, will haunt his memories till his dying breath.

Maybe it's just the naive idealist that still resides in me somewhere, but I don't understand people's propensity for causing hurt to each other. :'(

It's kinda my story too. I also had some tough times in high school but eventually I broke free - I'm not sure if I was really being bullied by international standards but yeah, how others treated me definitely felt like psychological torture to me - and for some time I really felt like a social outcast (being a foreigner made things even harder). By the time of the graduation, however, my tormentors were generally despised and people actually respected me a lot. I like to think that I got that far thanks to my own efforts (although I must admit that a certain girl that appeared out of nowhere in my life was a catalyst) but I can confirm what you said: bullies tend to screw it up for themselves. Here's four bullies' fates from my surroundings:
1. is an alcoholic with a dead-end job
2. is doing well in terms of career but hated by all former friends
3. is a skinhead (the bad kind) with no future
4. has come to his senses in time and is a nice regular guy

And yeah, for me also everything goes red when I see some injustice happening in front of me (interestingly my dad is the same - maybe it's genetical). The funniest story was when I knocked over a guy who was slapping his girl. She actually hit me for that (I'm talking about the bad kind of hitting someone).
Yay, finally something we agree upon! Although I must admit that I only watched the first one as it was the only one based on the novel - can't imagine that any of the sequels live up to the first one.

I.. sort of got bullied at school. I handled it in a odd way. Just started doing experiments on everyone. Finding out what they would bully me about, how to stop specific ones, keep them going etc.

It was kind of hard to get upset about anything they said, when I was effectively controlling them. I even got them to "bully" me for something that is actually a compliment.

It didn't go as far as what happened to this girl though. I think anyone who commented that that wanted this girl to die needs some mental evaluation because I really can't understand how someone could wish death on someone who hasn't hurt anyone but themselves :\

Statistical anomaly, I assure you.

The last 2 or 3 got rather silly, at one point he shoots a gang member with a rocket launcher. But, American Movie Classics did an entire week where they were running the entire series.

But, I think that he was somewhat underrated as an actor. Sure he didn't have much range, but the range he had, he pretty much nailed. Also see Death Hunt if you haven't already.

In high school, I was 2 years older than other kids and already tall for my age.

I didn't get bullied much.

At most, some kids would harass me for a few days and my resentment would build up until I got the "today is the day I'm bashing your teeth in. Now please do something, because I need an excuse for when I'll see the principal" look and they'd move on. They never failed to read that look, I swear.

High school is natural selection at work.

Many teens are vultures looking for a weakness.

If you're lucky, you'll be 2 years older like me, be tall for your age and have a temper to back it up.

It gets a little bit better when you grow up, because then, the vultures have to at least pretend to be civilized, usually.

I feel for this girl. As I watched the video, I felt like carving the little twerp who blackmailed her's insides with a carving knife. Maybe I'm the only one.

Doesn't seem like the type of thing even a semi-normal person would do.

Fledging psychopath would be my theory.

Everyone has, at some point in life, experienced bullying. Perhaps that's why there's so much disagreement on what is and isn't bullying; people think of their own experiences and not much else.

Every instance of bullying has two parts; an action and a reaction. In some cases the action is clearly designed to emit a negative reaction, like taking someone's backpack and throw it into the river. This kind of bullying is reasonably easy to deal with by a third party, be it teachers, parents, police, HR etc, so I'll leave this out in the rest of the post.

Other types of actions are not as easily identifyable, yet consistently cause a negative reaction on the receiving part. This is often labeled "innocent teasing" and it's usually easy to argue that it's a natural part of any relationship, be it in a schoolyard, workplace or family. There is a difference, though, and that lies in the provoked reaction. The reaction is as much a part of the bullying process as the action that caused it.

Negative reactions can be caused on purpose, using the cover of "innocent teasing" so that the bully can avoid taking responsibility for his/her despicable actions, or they may be caused without any malicious intent, simply because we don't know each others that well. This is where it starts to get messy. It's hard to "prove" that a given action is bullying when the main focus is on intent, rather than result.

I know a lot of people like to downplay the result when it's "not normal", like someone throwing a fit if they're called something that everyone else has no problems being called - it's part of human nature - but it's never the actions themselves that cause suicides, it's the reactions.

To stop bullying, people need to respect that others don't see things the same way they do - regardless if it makes sense to themselves or not. Not everyone deserves respect, but you owe it to your own self-respect to show respect to others regardless.

I'm afraid I can't feel much sympathy for her. :/

In retrospect, much as I loathed my childhood, as much as it still sometimes haunts my mind and occasionally plagues me with nightmares, I owe bullies a debt of gratitude, as it made me the person I am today. My opinion and trust of others is very low, and I can laugh off just about anything.

I greatly valued the opinions of my peers and desperately tried to fit in. Eventually, I had an epiphany and came to realize that not only was that completely impossible, but I was left questioning why I gave a flying fuck about anybody, and in the end, I realized, ultimately, that they can all burn. The bullies were all worthless, braindead savages that used me for their amusement. I managed to see things from their perspective, and in a sense, it warped me. I came to the point that I was bullying, myself, and took unbridled joy in it. I embraced the delight of cruelty, and for the first time in my life, I was able to pay for and eat lunch every single day with the money I stole. It was an incredible feeling, invigorating and addictive.

Eventually, it resulted in too much trouble for me, but by then, thankfully I had mostly lost interest in exerting my time on others and came to think that putting that effort into applying myself could perhaps prove more fruitful. I seemed to have accomplished what I wanted to during all of elementary school. That is, conquering the problem of bullying and acceptance of my peers. Halfway through my sophomore year, I gained confidence and nobody ever really bothered me anymore, and the few attempts after that never really phased me. I suppose I should be grateful that the bullies of my neighborhood weren't all that tough.

The most noteworthy incident during high school was when a group of kids tried to toss me into the garbage. I honestly can't remember what really happened. I wanted nothing more than to tear at them, I sort of blacked out, and later discerned that I had bashed one of the bullies heads into a brick wall until they lost consciousness. I did get into a great deal of trouble, but it was worth it, seeing as that was really the last major bullying incident. I continued to sit alone in the garden or the library during lunch time as I always had, and by some great fortune, eventually came to make two friends, one of whom I'm still living with these days.


Bullies tried to break me. They'd beat me up, trick my stupid younger self into doing things for their amusement, steal from me, steal from the school and pin the evidence on me when I wasn't looking, light my backpack on fire, several times, grab my gameboy and destroy it, ram me with their cars in high school while I was trying to leave campus and go home, sneak all manner of illegal goods into my backpack or locker and report me, throw things at me, pour things on me, tackle me to the ground, tie me up with rope, throw me in a shopping cart, and run around at full speed bashing it into things and eventually letting me roll down an incline, and so on.

They did an admirable job trying to make my life hell, and were rewarded handsomely when I was often the only one facing punishment and all they faced was the thrill of their deeds. I never cut myself or drank bleach, though I did have to suffer through years of psychologists, which left me with nothing but complete disrespect for that particular line of quackery. I desperately wanted to die, and never really made that much of a secret. Even these days, I still do, as my mental and physical health lately has left me frequently questioning why I bother to wake up each day. Maybe it's just my narcissism, or maybe it could be because I owe my family and friends more than that. I deliberately try to avoid asking myself that question.

Some people can see the pointlessness of existence. In regards to the question of "Why live?", some say "Why?" and others say "Why not?". Others, like myself, think they might have some potential, will find their niche in life, and that perhaps things will get better. Others are simply weak, and bullying destroys them. I don't think bullying can well and truly die, no matter what well-meaning weapons we might try to employ. Perhaps it's even a necessary evil.

It's sad that so many have chosen to give in to their emotions during this brief moment of their lives at the behest of such worthless trash as their peers. There's no arguing that. In a few years, they would have seen things through a new perspective, that the peers they would have killed themselves over were nothing more than a bunch of stupid kids and their stupid judgmental notions.

Perhaps the parents did everything they could, but there was simply no helping the situation, and their child didn't want any help. Somehow, though, especially in today's world where parents have no time for thier kids and are quick to spare the rod, that seems particularly doubtful, and I can't help but think there may be a strong, important correlation between these sort of suicides and parenting.

I'm afraid that's really all I have to say on the matter. You don't have to agree with me. I think that being bullied on a regular basis for nearly the entirety of my school years gives me some perspective on the matter of bullying, but then again, I could just be a hateful, jaded monster who's completely wrong and offensive.

I honestly can't say what's best, only what I personally think of the matter, but I wanted to address the topic subject of "Bullying must end...NOW!!!". Maybe bullying gives character. Maybe it leaves you into a smarter, better, and possibly more empathetic person. These days, everybody seems to be a winner, papers that would've been graded D are merely A-, standards seem to be much lower. I'm not saying bullying is great and that Biff Tannen is an excellent role model. I simply don't agree that it can end, much less must end, and that while we definitely need teachers and faculty to not just turn and walk away when somebody is clearly having the shit knocked out of them, I don't think the bullies themselves are at the root of the problem. Bullies are extremely replaceable.

Let's make bullying kill itself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLONAadDT3Q

While I don't agree with the "only" part, the part of it possibly being unintentional should not be dismissed so easily. See my post above for elaboration.

Tell me about it. The worst bully in my life was one that managed to fool everyone. He exploited everyone, he even fooled me into believing that he's my best friend while he was betraying me all the time and at one point our class teacher actually appointed him as some sort of "bully guard", the person responsible for informing teachers about possible bullying. He was exactly the same as the other bullies except for the fact that nobody was aware of it.

At some point he screwed me over one time too many and I began my subtle propaganda. Instead of waving my hand I gave him the finger, instead of saying "hi" I said "asshole" - over time this raised some people's curiosity which ultimately made him an infamous asshole.
By far the best episode this year.

But here's the tricky part. If somebody really wants to tease somebody (you remember how we were trying to pick up a girl in school? By pulling her hair :P), and you or some authorities would bring out the cannons at him, it would destroy his life too.

As long as it's innocent teasing among friends, school should be able to deal with that within it's walls. Calling the police, social services etc etc. may do much harm to the kid. In the end, it's all just kids, and you should think about a bully too.

Some bullies only bully because their parents beat the shit our of them in home, etc etc.

Unless the kid is significantly older, like 15 year old etc. you should be real careful when you react to bullying.

I'm not trying to defend anybody, just reminding every case has two sides.

I think you misunderstood me; police, social services etc - basically whatever is appropriate for a give situation - is fit for dealing with the obvious cases of bullying, like when it includes bodily harm, damage to property etc, e.g. all the stuff already covered by legislation. It's the "innocent teasing" part that makes a mess of every discussion on bullying, and I thought I'd try to point out there's a lot of bullying that doesn't fit this pattern and why it's still very much bullying. I should've been clearer on that this kind of bullying can't be "fixed" with the above mentioned instances (police etc), as it's moved beyond what's generally unacceptable and into what may be accetable for some yet unacceptable for others.

Yes, some (most?) bullies bully because they themselves have been bullied. However, if my brother killed a woman and that woman's brother killed my sister, it wouldn't make that man any less responsible for his actions, nor in any way make them excusable to any degree. Passing on injustice can't be justified. There's no rational reason to allow anyone to bully someone else just because they've been bullied themselves; the only potential difference lies in how one goes about reacting to that bullying.

Anyway, apart from the vague notion of respect for others being key to "solve" bullying, I'm not even trying to come up with any "solutions" to this problem. Life isn't fair, and nobody should expect - or even feel entitled to - being treated fair. That's just how life is. However, people with compassion (most have it to some degree) are sometimes willing to make an effort to counter this lack of fairness, hence a reason to spend time figuring out how to go about that in a constructive and efficient way.

Also, given that the reaction is just as important as the action (or even more so), "solving the problem" requires attention to the recipient too. 99.9% (pulling numbers out of my ass here) of every bully victim that "got past it" changed his/her reaction pattern. On the other hand you have plenty of cases where techers "stepped in" or either those bullying or the one being bullied relocated etc where nothing really changed.

If I'm to suggest a solution, it'd have to be two-fold: Help those being bullied change themselves (in a constructive manner), and give them enough peace of mind to be able to change, by reducing the bullying going on. The latter seems to me to require teaching everyone to show everyone more respect (which would come in handy in a plethoria of other "problematic areas" as well).

That's exactly my point. If someone complained about being bullied, yet you could see no indications of anyone actively seeking him/her out, you'd likely dismiss it. The issue here is that the victim's perception of reality differs from ours, yet that's what's real for him/her, and that's what leads to suicides etc. That's the funny thing about us humans - we're not satisfied with real problems - we let imaginary things dictate our actions.

I love my better half very much. Still, I have said things to her that's been meant as nothing but good-natured teasing/banter, yet she's reacted badly to it; it has "hit a nerve", making her remember something bad from her past for instance. Does it change anything that I didn't want to hurt her, or even knew it could hurt her?