I'm afraid I can't feel much sympathy for her. :/

In retrospect, much as I loathed my childhood, as much as it still sometimes haunts my mind and occasionally plagues me with nightmares, I owe bullies a debt of gratitude, as it made me the person I am today. My opinion and trust of others is very low, and I can laugh off just about anything.

I greatly valued the opinions of my peers and desperately tried to fit in. Eventually, I had an epiphany and came to realize that not only was that completely impossible, but I was left questioning why I gave a flying fuck about anybody, and in the end, I realized, ultimately, that they can all burn. The bullies were all worthless, braindead savages that used me for their amusement. I managed to see things from their perspective, and in a sense, it warped me. I came to the point that I was bullying, myself, and took unbridled joy in it. I embraced the delight of cruelty, and for the first time in my life, I was able to pay for and eat lunch every single day with the money I stole. It was an incredible feeling, invigorating and addictive.

Eventually, it resulted in too much trouble for me, but by then, thankfully I had mostly lost interest in exerting my time on others and came to think that putting that effort into applying myself could perhaps prove more fruitful. I seemed to have accomplished what I wanted to during all of elementary school. That is, conquering the problem of bullying and acceptance of my peers. Halfway through my sophomore year, I gained confidence and nobody ever really bothered me anymore, and the few attempts after that never really phased me. I suppose I should be grateful that the bullies of my neighborhood weren't all that tough.

The most noteworthy incident during high school was when a group of kids tried to toss me into the garbage. I honestly can't remember what really happened. I wanted nothing more than to tear at them, I sort of blacked out, and later discerned that I had bashed one of the bullies heads into a brick wall until they lost consciousness. I did get into a great deal of trouble, but it was worth it, seeing as that was really the last major bullying incident. I continued to sit alone in the garden or the library during lunch time as I always had, and by some great fortune, eventually came to make two friends, one of whom I'm still living with these days.


Bullies tried to break me. They'd beat me up, trick my stupid younger self into doing things for their amusement, steal from me, steal from the school and pin the evidence on me when I wasn't looking, light my backpack on fire, several times, grab my gameboy and destroy it, ram me with their cars in high school while I was trying to leave campus and go home, sneak all manner of illegal goods into my backpack or locker and report me, throw things at me, pour things on me, tackle me to the ground, tie me up with rope, throw me in a shopping cart, and run around at full speed bashing it into things and eventually letting me roll down an incline, and so on.

They did an admirable job trying to make my life hell, and were rewarded handsomely when I was often the only one facing punishment and all they faced was the thrill of their deeds. I never cut myself or drank bleach, though I did have to suffer through years of psychologists, which left me with nothing but complete disrespect for that particular line of quackery. I desperately wanted to die, and never really made that much of a secret. Even these days, I still do, as my mental and physical health lately has left me frequently questioning why I bother to wake up each day. Maybe it's just my narcissism, or maybe it could be because I owe my family and friends more than that. I deliberately try to avoid asking myself that question.

Some people can see the pointlessness of existence. In regards to the question of "Why live?", some say "Why?" and others say "Why not?". Others, like myself, think they might have some potential, will find their niche in life, and that perhaps things will get better. Others are simply weak, and bullying destroys them. I don't think bullying can well and truly die, no matter what well-meaning weapons we might try to employ. Perhaps it's even a necessary evil.

It's sad that so many have chosen to give in to their emotions during this brief moment of their lives at the behest of such worthless trash as their peers. There's no arguing that. In a few years, they would have seen things through a new perspective, that the peers they would have killed themselves over were nothing more than a bunch of stupid kids and their stupid judgmental notions.

Perhaps the parents did everything they could, but there was simply no helping the situation, and their child didn't want any help. Somehow, though, especially in today's world where parents have no time for thier kids and are quick to spare the rod, that seems particularly doubtful, and I can't help but think there may be a strong, important correlation between these sort of suicides and parenting.

I'm afraid that's really all I have to say on the matter. You don't have to agree with me. I think that being bullied on a regular basis for nearly the entirety of my school years gives me some perspective on the matter of bullying, but then again, I could just be a hateful, jaded monster who's completely wrong and offensive.

I honestly can't say what's best, only what I personally think of the matter, but I wanted to address the topic subject of "Bullying must end...NOW!!!". Maybe bullying gives character. Maybe it leaves you into a smarter, better, and possibly more empathetic person. These days, everybody seems to be a winner, papers that would've been graded D are merely A-, standards seem to be much lower. I'm not saying bullying is great and that Biff Tannen is an excellent role model. I simply don't agree that it can end, much less must end, and that while we definitely need teachers and faculty to not just turn and walk away when somebody is clearly having the shit knocked out of them, I don't think the bullies themselves are at the root of the problem. Bullies are extremely replaceable.