i avoid the usage of rape
(instead i say "we got fucked" or something)
lot less tense word

I think I should stay out of this one... The Monkey Nation, after so many wars, desires some peace.

I don't agree with the OP, mainly due to free speech and freedom of expression. If we phase it out of casual conversation ( not that I think it's a casual topic ), then others will want to phase it out of avenues such as movies, books and games. Slippery slope, basically. I don't want to seem callous but that's my take.

I don't think "slippery slope" arguments are particularly useful in discussions about language use, because it's extremely easy to paint a horrendous scenario in either direction. You can say "Standing up against the use of 'rape' in this context could eventually endanger free speech" as easily as you can say "Accepting all kinds of abusive terms could eventually vulgarize our means of interaction and lead to the acceptance of the abuse itself". I don't think discussions about language use can be solved on such a categorical level.

I'd rather look at the potentially problematic terms on a case-by-case basis. Why would I want to use them, what are their advantages, what are their disadvantages? Sometimes, I feel that the advantages of a particular term justify its usage, or that the disadvantages are negligible, and I'll continue using it. In the case of "rape" in gamer lingo, I actually don't see any advantages in using the term, so I prefer others. (I usually use "slaughtered" or "butchered" in these situations, which are terms that don't have that aspect of sexual violence, for which I see little reason anyway since the depicted actions in gaming rarely have anything to do with sex).

i think this sexual/aggressive language reflects the fact that the World is too obsessed with sex. and so everyone thinks that sex is a big deal, a big part of proving yourself to others. that you get it on a lot, that you're always ready, willing and able. that your Little man is really big.
and so everything Pictures, vocabulary, clothes is loaded with sexual references, and you can't Express yourself without it being in sexual terms.
people should forget about sex for five minutes, have a cup of tea and a real conversation.
sex is, after all, only sex and it's never anywhere near as cool as it's made out to be although it can be quite nice, especially if it's with somebody that you love (otherwise it's hardly worth the effort).

I think that there is a bit of a false argument going on here. We don’t need to live life in the extremes. On the one hand we do not need to be paranoid about everything we say for fear that it might rub someone the wrong way and on the other hand we don’t need to adopt a sociopathic, nobody matters but me attitude, to feel like we have freedom of expression.

I think if we just use a common sense and a basic sense of respect of others we will manage just fine.

By starting this tread all would like you to do is consider that being sexually assaulted is sadly more common than you might think and is one of the worst things that can happen to a person and it can have long reaching effects in a person for the rest of their life. And maybe it is not the end of the world to be a little over cautious with certain words out of respect for these people who, like all of us, play video games and surf the web and could even be reading this thread.

All I ask is to put yourself and their shoes and think it over. After a bit of introspection if you don’t have a problem with using words like rape in in gaming slang, that’s fine, it’s your call. But at least take the time to think it over .

On the whole free speech thing:

In the US at least, it's your legal right to be a turd to whomever you want, within reason. That doesn't mean it's a good idea, or an appropriate thing to do. Legally it may be fine, but ethically you should be aware of the ramifications of your actions. Whether you care about the ethics of speech is another matter entirely.

Two problems with this:

-Your criteria is too subjective.

-Gaming, at present, is being bombarded right and left by social justice crusaders who want to clamp down on every issue percieved as offensive/ racist/ sexist, etc. Movies and books have long past gone through this phase, but right now gaming is experiencing it full force. Of course it's their right to do so, but it has created a hostile climate that is not amenable to reasonable compromise. It's also led to self censorship.

1. Why is the "subjective criterion" a problem? Zookie specifically encouraged other users to apply their own criteria and arrive at their own conclusions, why do you have a problem with that?

2. What exactly has the current perception of gaming in the media to do with the fact whether you want or don't want to use a term that might offend others? Is it more okay to offend others if you're in environment that is "under attack"? Why should that even be relevant for a simple question of human interaction?

Here's a recent example that my girlfriend experienced in an MMO:

- Guy enters a chat, describes that somebody "totally raped him"
- Girl explains to him calmly that she doesn't like the usage of this term and also explains why
- Guy says that he hadn't thought about this before, apologizes, and is a bit more tactful in the future
- Conversation carries on since it's not _that_ big a deal for anyone involved.

These conversations happen very often and it's a very simple thing (imho). Where in this exchange do you see the problems of "subjective criteria" and "gaming under attack"?

It is not about clamping down on others. It is just taking time to consider our effect on others. It is just empathy, a basic components of human interaction.

I think the way girlfriend handled that is the best way to deal with those kinds of situations.

Yeah. That's reasonable - Zookie can pretty much count on me not using the word rape around him. I won't stop using it generally tho (not that I actually am using it in this context)

Yes, and the casual use of a term for sexual violence in a conversation about MMO combat was exactly the point that made some of the women in the chat feel uncomfortable. Which one of them explained to him, which he understood, and which caused him to not use the word in that context again so far.

I'm afraid I don't really see the point in stating the obvious, could you elaborate why you see "used the term as a casual pejorative" as a relevant factor here?

Annoyed by the casual use of "rape" (like the people in the chat), or annoyed by what exactly?

Agreed. Though in my mind the sort of attitude of "oh sorry, didn't mean it" is sort of dangerous. It happens. Everyone is socialized into doing or saying hurtful things sometimes. But the realizing, and dealing with it, is what is important.

This blog post, while about racism, is basically my argument: http://racismschool.tumblr.com/post/52423043633/the-intent-is-in-the-ignorance

(also, I know I'm four pages late here, I was sleeping)