Rodzaju: I'd break into your house & install a pressure pad under your mattress.
When activated, this would trigger the release of a fouls smelling but completely harmless gas from the canister under your bed.
It would also lock your front door.
So you have to run out the back, where you will encounter the land mines buried in your yard....

lugum: i'd just bore you to death.

lugum: that implies he has one.

lugum: you will be fastened to a rough cross, and me, armed with a sharp knife, begins by grasping handfuls from the fleshy parts of the body, such as the thighs and the breasts, and slicing them off. After this i remove the joints and the excrescences of the body one by one-the nose and ears, fingers and toes. Then the limbs are cut off piecemeal at the wrists and the ankles, the elbows and knees, the shoulders and hips. Finally, the you will be stabbed to the heart and your head cut off.

DProject: I would make him swim in a pool, then remove the ladder.

AFnord: I would lock him in a room with a sharp object and the Star Wars Holiday Special on repeat on a big-screen TV, and wait for him to kill himself.