Banned for giving way too much attention to the news (relax man, you won't earn anything by stressing over like that for something that won't change anyways whether or not you stress about it). Do you want to listen to some relaxing music mayhaps, or play a videogame or something?

Banned for being offensive against couch potatoes

Banned because John Cleese wants something completely different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxNyoAMqRXQ

Banned for snubbing vowels.

Preemptively banned, in preparation for the Belgian sneak attack on the USA.

http://www.globalfirepower.com/country-military-strength-detail.asp?country_id=belgium

MWAHAHAHA, the world shall be ours >:)

Banned for revealing classified military plans.

Banned for stealing color from Vnlr's avatar. Thief!!

Banned for disregarding the imperative of noted American philosopher Satchel Paige: "Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you."

Banned for discrediting the myth of Orpheus and many such examples in mythology, in which your "something" proved to be inevitable loss.

Banned for being a master without a license.

This has been a note from your friendly Overworld beurocracy

Banned for being offline

Banned for looking at me awkwardly... P_P

Banned for looking awkward in general

Banned for being an awkward fellow pirate