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ZFR: ...
Yep. That's pretty weird. Seriously, what a ridiculous and elaborate story to try and get someone to send you money...
I particularly like the fact he is from the wealthy Timothy family (of Burkina Faso) XD
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ZFR: during the course of my research on Mars, I was ambushed by a group of analdwelling rebel Martians
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sunshinecorp: I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. Goddamn Martian rebels and their unhealthy fascination with anal probes. This must be stopped.
Aint no rebels here except me - its Stooner who has the anal probes!

...and the coprolite women!
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sunshinecorp: I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. Goddamn Martian rebels and their unhealthy fascination with anal probes. This must be stopped.
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Sachys: Aint no rebels here except me - its Stooner who has the anal probes!

...and the coprolite women!
That's it, I'm ordering an orbital strike.
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adaliabooks: Yep. That's pretty weird. Seriously, what a ridiculous and elaborate story to try and get someone to send you money...
I particularly like the fact he is from the wealthy Timothy family (of Burkina Faso) XD
Those scammers use templates. They follow recent events (e.g. after the Bali tsunami you get tons of emails from millionares wanting you to help them give money to tsunami victims).
Someone as a joke must have given them the Mars template. And since Mars rover was in the news, enough scammers fell for it and thought it's real and started using it to send out scam email.

If you google "analdwelling rebel Martians" you'll find out that a ruptured uterus that has "defiled" all forms of medical treatment seems to be a very common ailment afflicting hundreds of Martian astronauts from all over Africa.
Post edited February 08, 2015 by ZFR
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rtcvb32: Interesting....

although i clicked on the testimony link and got a 'you got hacked' message...
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sunshinecorp: Website stamped? Is this some sort of weird cyber bureaucrat attack?
Well, we all know those bureaucrats are bloodsuckers.
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Sachys: Aint no rebels here except me - its Stooner who has the anal probes!

...and the coprolite women!
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sunshinecorp: That's it, I'm ordering an orbital strike.
Unfortunately for you, there is NO orbital strike capability for Earth - since the whole system was hitched onto the back of my pod as extra fuel... and now serves as an especially large cess-tank system instead.

I can however initiate an interplanetary fecal beam in retaliation if your assured deficative destruction will make you feel any better (note - this is why Chile is no longer safe to travel to).
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sunshinecorp: That's it, I'm ordering an orbital strike.
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Sachys: Unfortunately for you, there is NO orbital strike capability for Earth - since the whole system was hitched onto the back of my pod as extra fuel... and now serves as an especially large cess-tank system instead.

I can however initiate an interplanetary fecal beam in retaliation if your assured deficative destruction will make you feel any better (note - this is why Chile is no longer safe to travel to).
Mutually Assured Defecation?
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sunshinecorp: Website stamped? Is this some sort of weird cyber bureaucrat attack?
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Maighstir: Well, we all know those bureaucrats are bloodsuckers.
Indeed.
Post edited February 08, 2015 by sunshinecorp
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ZFR: You want to read a really weird scam? This is something I received back in 2009, just few weeks after NASA lost control of the Spirit Rover. Copying it word for word as I received it:

[...]

Last year, during the course of my research on Mars, I was ambushed by a group of analdwelling rebel Martians who inflicted great torturous pain upon my body with anal probes. After a few weeks of enduring the physical pain, they released me. As a direct result of this cruelty, I am now very ill with a ruptured uterus that has defiled all forms of medical treatment and which has been deemed to be inoperable by my Martian surgeons. I am writing this mail to you on a laptop from my hospital bed in the Martian capitol of Zhwrong.

[...]
Cheers for sharing, got a good laugh out of me.
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ZFR: ...
Priceless! Awesome! Fascinating! Grotesque!

I'm running out of words here... Also I don't know if I should laugh my ass off or cry and go kill myself.
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ZFR: ...
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toxicTom: Priceless! Awesome! Fascinating! Grotesque!

I'm running out of words here... Also I don't know if I should laugh my ass off or cry and go kill myself.
Do not do anything with your ass. Martian rebels are everywhere.
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sunshinecorp: Do not do anything with your ass. Martian rebels are everywhere.
Hmm. Having laughed my ass off I should be safe, right?
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sunshinecorp: Do not do anything with your ass. Martian rebels are everywhere.
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toxicTom: Hmm. Having laughed my ass off I should be safe, right?
Just don't leave it on the ground. You'll never find it again if you do.
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adaliabooks: Really? Seriously?

People are pretending to be vampires to scam people, that's a thing?

Some day I want to meet the people who fall for these things... and steal all their money by telling them I'm a Nigerian Prince.
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ZFR: You want to read a really weird scam? This is something I received back in 2009, just few weeks after NASA lost control of the Spirit Rover. Copying it word for word as I received it:

Hello

I pray that this email reaches you in the best of health. This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. The message could be strange but it's real and you will realise this if you pay some attention to it. I want to notify you about it at least for the sake of your integrity.

My name is Major Simon timothy, a direct and only remaining member of the wealthy Timothy's family. I am an astronaut with the Burkina Faso Air Force and on loan to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).

In 2003 I left earth aboard the Mars Rover, Spirit. Seven months later I arrived on Mars. Prior to departing earth, I deposited the amount of US$ 11,600,000 (Eleven million, six hundred thousand United States dollars) in four safety galvanized boxes in a European financial institution which will be disclosed to you upon your acceptance of my proposal.

Last year, during the course of my research on Mars, I was ambushed by a group of analdwelling rebel Martians who inflicted great torturous pain upon my body with anal probes. After a few weeks of enduring the physical pain, they released me. As a direct result of this cruelty, I am now very ill with a ruptured uterus that has defiled all forms of medical treatment and which has been deemed to be inoperable by my Martian surgeons. I am writing this mail to you on a laptop from my hospital bed in the Martian capitol of Zhwrong.

I now have but a few weeks to live and I am far too ill to endure the long and arduous journey back to my Burkina Faso home. Therefore I have decided to donate the bulk of my fortune to a church or charitable organisation that will utilize this money in the manner which I shall impart to you later. In return for your assistance, I shall authorise you to keep 30% of this fund for your trouble and aggravation plus an additional 10% to cover your expenses.

You should contact my attorney in Ouagadougou immediately with your address and
Telephone number and he will give you his full contact information and guidance so that we can make arrangements as soon as possible.

CONTACT ADDRESS OF THE
ATTORNEY.HON. BARRISTER AKPARA KADIOGO.OFAKPARA
CHAMBERS.TELPHONE: +22678235021
FAX: + (226) 50014470
E-MAIL: akparaassociatechambers2@yahoo.com

SINCERELY YOURS,
MAJOR SIMON TIMOTHY,
NATIONAL AERONAUTICS AND SPACE ADMINISTRATION
ELYSIUM VETERINARY INFIRMARY
ZHWRONG, MARS
NANO
It's probably an active filtering mechanism. Normal people won't believe the utter idiocy these scammers post, so they use the most absurd crap. That way proper dense people will fall for it. Funny letter =)
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Pangaea666: It's probably an active filtering mechanism. Normal people won't believe the utter idiocy these scammers post, so they use the most absurd crap. That way proper dense people will fall for it. Funny letter =)
Probably the thing that gets most people is when they see the dollar amount and then they turn off their logical brain to think in the wistful 'i could buy everything i want'.

Of course if the message is really really long, a lot of people probably just don't read the whole thing to notice it's a scam (I'm guilty of this, i don't read the whole message, usually the dollar amount or seeing the info box is enough for me to delete it).
You know, if this is now going to be the all-purpose, semi-official Spamwatch HQ for these forums, one of the blues could, perhaps, change the thread title to something less...histrionic. Every time I see this thread pop up with new posts, I think, "Oh, no, not again..." . Perhaps people could suggest some ideas for a potential new name? Just an idea.
Post edited February 09, 2015 by HunchBluntley