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Heretic777: LOL..."one-eyed monster for a walk", never heard that one before...LOL.
Two of my favourites:

Play a solo on the pink trombone

and

(for its pure bizarreness) Feeding the skinny penguin
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eno_m_koney: Play a solo on the pink trombone
LOL, good one. My fav is:

Going on a date with Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters.
Beating the bishop

Choking the chicken

Having a tug-of-war with cyclops
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Navagon: France is pretty well renowned for not exactly overexerting its workforce.

As far as pay is concerned, keep in mind that a high minimum wage goes hand in hand with high taxes. That is after all the only reason why there is a minimum wage.
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Heretic777: I thought I heard somewhere that Germany had a shorter work week than France, around 30 hours I think. Does all European countries including UK give a new hire 6 weeks paid vacation? I do like the French mentality of not working and stressing your life away. I'm afraid the Wall St banking criminals have destroyed the European way of life. Their greed will enslave most of the western world under the rule of a wealthy criminal class.
Definitely not. Technically speaking, you are legally working full time when you start working 30 hours a week, the standard working week in Germany is 35 hours, but you'd be lucky to find a full-time paying job that offers you a 35-hour contract. The vast majority of jobs out there require you to work 40 hours a week, and chances are you'll be doing plenty of unpaid overtime.

The law in Germany requires employers to grant employees at least 20 working days paid holiday (assuming a five-day working week). In practice, most jobs will offer you either five or six weeks depending on your age, because they know that employees with kids and just four weeks holiday will become a liability and they'd rather grant the extra week or two and do without the hassle of sick kids, visits to the Bürgerbüro, doctors' check-ups etc. It's not so much "holiday" as "days off to get stuff done that you need to do". I took holiday to do my driving licence.

As far as France is concerned...yeah, many jobs will offer a 30-hour working week, and as much as the Brits deride the French for being lazy, I can tell you from having lived in France that the French are anything but lazy. They may work a 30-hour week, but the time and stress spared is more spent with family, with charitable undertakings and generally leading a constructive life. Not saying that the Brits are anti-social bastards, but the exhausting working hours in the UK makes leading a decent life a chore. In the UK, many people don't have much of a life outside of work.

Much like the Japanese I hear.
Post edited September 12, 2011 by jamyskis
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ChaunceyK: Beating the bishop

Choking the chicken

Having a tug-of-war with cyclops
LOL, never heard these before, excellent.

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jamyskis: Not saying that the Brits are anti-social bastards, but the exhausting working hours in the UK makes leading a decent life a chore. In the UK, many people don't have much of a life outside of work.
A government job in France seems like the best place to work. But I think Sarkozy is trying to make France like the USA by extending working hours and reducing holidays and vacation. Too bad for the French, good times are coming to an end.
Post edited September 12, 2011 by Heretic777
I've always been impressed with the European education system. Every person I meet from Europe is able to have a conversation in English. I took French in high school, but I can't have a conversation in French, I just passed the class and forgot everything.
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Heretic777: I've always been impressed with the European education system. Every person I meet from Europe is able to have a conversation in English. I took French in high school, but I can't have a conversation in French, I just passed the class and forgot everything.
See, ability to fluently speak English is absolutely necessary for Europeans. When you have a whole lot of different countries clustered together that have different languages you just need some kind of Esperanto, a language everybody is familiar with.
You seem much too impressed though. I've encountered a lot of Spanish, Italian and French people who couldn't understand a word in English.
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orcishgamer: I've got one, random one about which I have my own ideas, still for the sake of discourse:

If you had to raise a special needs child by yourself, where in the world would you pick to do it?
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timppu: Norway/Sweden/Denmark/Finland, probably. Too bad the weather may not be to your liking in those northern countries. Maybe there are other places too (somewhere in developed Asia? Japan/South-Korea?), but at least the support from the state should be good in those European countries.

Since you are a furriner, from the mentioned nordic four I'd rate Finland the lowest, just because its language is the hardest one to learn especially for people of Germanic languages (Swedish/Danish/Norwegian are Germanic languages like English, Finland is not).
This is pretty much what I would think as well. I should note, I don't seem to have problems with languages, actually quite the opposite, so the language doesn't scare me, might be intimidating for my kiddo though:)
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timppu: ...
The reason you see the lubricant in media so much is because it's an obvious prop for the dense.

The percentage of male mutilations... I mean circumcisions is going down every year (thankfully). Some women find a regular penis gross but some women prefer it. You wouldn't be considered all that weird in a lot of the US having your full manhood. A large portion of US males wish they still had all their junk as it functional (produces lubrication) as well as fun (there's a lot of nerves there).

Fun fact, the typical male part removed during circumcision would as an adult, if unfolded, cover a 3x5 (inch) index card.
Post edited September 12, 2011 by orcishgamer
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ChaunceyK: Beating the bishop

Choking the chicken

Having a tug-of-war with cyclops
Pulling the pope

Making knuckle children
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Heretic777: I assumed you watch American Pie 2 where he used glue by accident, that was so funny. I think its used in comedies just for laughs, I don't think most American males use it to "spank the monkey".
It could well be, I think I've seen that movie. I don't quite remember in "The 40 year old virgin" movie whether he was preparing some lubricant for the private moment scene as well. I'll have to recheck that movie.

Anyway, I guess I got my answers, thanks. I think it was mainly the Penn&Teller episode that raised so many questions to my mind on the subject.
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jamyskis: In practice, most jobs will offer you either five or six weeks depending on your age, because they know that employees with kids and just four weeks holiday will become a liability and they'd rather grant the extra week or two and do without the hassle of sick kids, visits to the Bürgerbüro, doctors' check-ups etc. It's not so much "holiday" as "days off to get stuff done that you need to do". I took holiday to do my driving licence.
This is so incredibly sane... the UK could do with some of that. Having said that I get 5 weeks... but I'm very lucky.
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orcishgamer: This is pretty much what I would think as well. I should note, I don't seem to have problems with languages, actually quite the opposite, so the language doesn't scare me, might be intimidating for my kiddo though:)
I think English will get you far in day-to-day life in all mentioned nordic countries, but not knowing the language will limit your choices of work. I know many English-speaking people who have e.g. married to Finland have complained that especially nowadays it is quite hard to get a job here, and they think it is because they don't know the language. This includes even big international companies where the official language is English.

Also, maybe some Dane (FiatLux?) should enlighten more, but I think Denmark is nowadays much more strict on who can move in and stay in the country. I think the official message is "people who are willing to work and build the Danish society are welcome, others are not", but still it can be quite tricky for even many highly educated westerners to stay in the country.

This occurred to me because just this morning I saw a TV program about the immigration situation in Denmark, where some educated American woman, who had immigrated to Denmark and has lived/worked there for nine years, complained how strict it has become to stay in the country, and now she is thinking about moving out with her child because even after nine years she would not be granted a permanent residence permit.

As it happens, if you don't have permanent residence, less local employers are willing to take the chance and hire you, if they don't know you can stay in the country as long as you like. So it is a Catch-22, employers will not hire you without a permanent residence permit, which in turn will make it even less probable to get one.

So at the moment, it may be much easier to immigrate to the other mentioned countries. I propose Norway, they have oil and salmon, and are not in the Euro zone.
Post edited September 13, 2011 by timppu
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timppu: Important questions to folks in United States:
1. My understanding is that almost all men born in US are circumcised at birth (as infants).
I've never heard that one before and wouldn't have believed it if not for the absence of protest from US GOG members here. So is it actually a fact? If so, how come?
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orcishgamer: This is pretty much what I would think as well. I should note, I don't seem to have problems with languages, actually quite the opposite, so the language doesn't scare me, might be intimidating for my kiddo though:)
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timppu: I think English will get you far in day-to-day life in all mentioned nordic countries, but not knowing the language will limit your choices of work. I know many English-speaking people who have e.g. married to Finland have complained that especially nowadays it is quite hard to get a job here, and they think it is because they don't know the language. This includes even big international companies where the official language is English.

Also, maybe some Dane (FiatLux?) should enlighten more, but I think Denmark is nowadays much more strict on who can move in and stay in the country. I think the official message is "people who are willing to work and build the Danish society are welcome, others are not", but still it can be quite tricky for even many highly educated westerners to stay in the country.

This occurred to me because just this morning I saw a TV program about the immigration situation in Denmark, where some educated American woman, who had immigrated to Denmark and has lived/worked there for nine years, complained how strict it has become to stay in the country, and now she is thinking about moving out with her child because even after nine years she would not be granted a permanent residence permit.

As it happens, if you don't have permanent residence, less local employers are willing to take the chance and hire you, if they don't know you can stay in the country as long as you like. So it is a Catch-22, employers will not hire you without a permanent residence permit, which in turn will make it even less probable to get one.

So at the moment, it may be much easier to immigrate to the other mentioned countries. I propose Norway, they have oil and salmon, and are not in the Euro zone.
How cold are the winters in Norway? Is Norway one of those Scandinavian countries where it gets dark for longer periods than the average country closer to the equator?
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timppu: Important questions to folks in United States:
1. My understanding is that almost all men born in US are circumcised at birth (as infants).
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Leroux: I've never heard that one before and wouldn't have believed it if not for the absence of protest from US GOG members here. So is it actually a fact? If so, how come?
Its true most US males are circ as infants. Its considered standard medical practice before 2000, I think for hygiene and to reduce masturbation. There are many cases where the doctor damaged the penis or cut it off. There was one case where the doctor cut it off and then the parents were told thats its better to change the infant to a female. Needless to say this poor kid grew up very confused and only much later found out what really happened.

Now there is a movement not to circ which I think is good. Its completely not necessary and barbaric.