It's tough being a normally aggressive animal, if you're a scrawny weakling. You might be able to just shove that rectum back inside, or else you should see a doctor. That's the easiest magic trick there is: you simply blind the audience with milk and then hide the nickles. Hippies are too stoned to know the difference, anyway, so you could just toss the nickles behind you and say, "Where did they go?" Thank you for offering to show me your homemade porn, but I don't care for Willie's anatomy.

(...)you simply blind the audience with milk and then hide the nickles. (...)
I don't want to misquote this! You art hilariously. I guess it's tough.
Maybe just this.

A bit of Johnny echo?

But of course! Why should a gecko not wear a bib? Do you think lizards like to spill barbecue sauce all over themselves? Though I suppose they could just camouflage to hide the stain.

Geckos don't change their colors; you're thinking of chameleons, which are just living mood-rings, they can't control their colors.

I've seen blue freckles! I'll admit that I haven't bathed recently, but I wouldn't give anyone a rotten melon to eat. I do however think that pants can be a nice consolation prize.

Oi! Keep it PG-rated, will ya! And you should probably get that checked before bits that shouldn't start falling off. It's probably scurvy though, so you should eat some more vitamin C.

I'd rather not produce pornographic films involving pigs, thank you very much. That's a good idea about the biscuits though. If I put them on the checkerboard and then sit on them, I can hold them down. It does feel a bit topsy-turvy, because I'm having trouble balancing on top of the biscuits, but actually, I never realized that they contained vitamin R... and I have no idea what that even is.

Don't worry, HMA, the Fire Department will be with you shortly to sort all of this out.

If you want to waste your life we can't stop you, but don't put down others for spending theirs well.

Make sure to thank your mother for that, because I know that your wife has a fetish for smelly hair, so that should make the whole experience more pleasurable for her... because she's a freak.

You're in luck though, I don't and never will have a wife.

Well can you blame me? The bill gets in the way; if only I had lips!

"Damn, how am I suppose to afford graduate school for my daughter now?"

I understand the need to take care of your invalid child, but you don't actually need to marry her to be able to do that.