Granted, but they have so bad a memory they keep forgetting it and pester all you friends about "what did Bradley want, already?"

I wish for none of my coworkers to contaminate me (thanks but no thanks, keep your cold for yourself).

Granted. You have been fired, and therefore no longer have any coworkers who could contaminate you.

I wish for Jill Stein to become the next US president.

Wish granted; Donald Trump is President and he hires Jill as personal secretary.

I wish for British citizens to prove themselves prudent and home-loving, so they can finally exit the ridiculous dictatorship called E.U (and it, at long last, expire).

Granted, and Elton John becomes king of England. Now, you would love that, right? :P

I wish for poems. Lots of poems.

Your wish, indeed,
Is granted with speed,
But you soon do find,
That both the meter and sound scheme is completely off and it's written overall sloppily by some random dude on the internet, just for the purpose of annoying you.

I wish for an original copy of Alice In Wonderland.

(I assure you I've seen worse ^^)

Granted, but oops, down the rabbit-hole it goes!

I wish for Vladimir Putin to cosplay as The Big Lebowski's Dude.

Granted, now Russia is run by the Dude. But Russia still is a dictature.

I wish to quit procrastinating.

Granted, your wish was productive (whatever that means). Of course, you now have nothing to do.

I wish for tomorrow to see the release of a new game on this site. (Has to be tomorrow, no other day will count.)

Granted!

Stalin vs Martians HD is released.
...
what?


I wish dutch would become the world's new lingua franca

Granted, but from now on, for every game added to the catalogue, two are silently withdrawn.

(offtopic: dtgreene, it seems you are knowledgeable about the Wizardry series. Can you tell me whether they are games where character aging / hunger force you to keep one eye on the clock, or whether you can take your time to explore?)

I wish for a live-action dungeon crawler.

Edit: ninja'd!

Granted, but tulip bulbs become the sole authorized currency.

I wish for a live-action dungeon crawler.

Granted, but when you die there, you also die in real life.

As for aging/hunger in the Wizardry series:

Hunger is not present in the series, so you don't have to worry about that.

Aging happens, but it tends to be slow. In the classic games (1-5, excluding 4), it only happens when resting, resurrected in town, class changing, and certain other special situations, and it only affects the character partaking in the activity. (This means that one character can rest for years without the rest of the party aging.) Aging from rest can be minimized by using healing magic and resting only in the stables (for free). Note that the Apple 2 versions of Wizardry 1-3 don't actually implement aging from rest.

Wizardry 6 and 7 will have your whole party age if you take enough time, but the aging is slow. On the other hand, in Wizardry 7, if you take too long, NPCs will beat you to the maps, and one of them is required (and is hard to get before someone else takes it). Fortunately, it is possible to get the map from the NPC who took it, though in some cases it may require violence. (I haven't really played Wizardry 7, however.)

Wizardry 8 has no aging mechanic at all, thankfully, and there's no time factor at all.

Incidentally, in Wizardry 4, you are given just under 1 million key strokes to beat the game. If you press 1 million keys during the course of the game, it's game over. Note that I never even got close to this happening, and because the game lacks XP based leveling, there generally isn't anything gained by what's referred to as "grinding" these days. In fact, it isn't until late in the game that I had spent over 100,000 keys. Also, because the remaining keys are stored in the save file, when you die (and trust me, that will happen *a lot*) and reload, your keys are restored to what they were when you saved.

Note: Seems I forgot a wish here. I'll put a sort of placeholder one here: I wish for indie developers to start copying Wizardry 4.

Declined.

I wish that one day you will have the strength to unlatch from Mr e's peach-shaped buttocks.

And I wish that Mr e wasn't a homoerectus.

Granted, but they make exact copies, so Sir-Tech sues them out of existence. No more indie developers! :'-(


I wish that my creative writing portfolio would write itself.

Declined, no port and no folio.

Sorry, but you were asking too much.