It's just too bad that since you've chosen to give up all worldly things, including the internet, you'll never find out how this wish turns out.

I wish I knew who let the dogs out.

Granted, you created a new STD virus and immediately you became patient zero. The virus forbid you to reproduce. You are not even possible to do any reproductive activity anymore.

I wish I could eat seafood everyday.

Granted. You are a modern day Robinson Crusoe, only with way more fish and way fewer cannibals. Good luck getting back to civilization.

I wish I had a Tardis.

Granted but, the model you receive is actually Bill and Ted's knock-off hand-me-down. The interior is saturated in a terrible odor; a combination of pimento loaf left in a car under a midday sun and a Hot Topic fitting room.

I wish for this terrible stanky, time machine

Granted. It even comes complete with George Carlin's rotting corpse.

I wish I could fumigate my brain from that image.

Wish granted, but now you have to replace it with a image that is at least twice as bad.

I wish for the ability to travel to the realities of fictional worlds.

Granted, but you are now a contestant in the Hunger Games.

I wish for peace on Earth.

Granted, but the Earth now has no life whatsoever.

I wish for the ability to conjure up technology out of thin air.

Granted, but only if you own the patent or if its public domain.

I wish the USA would get rid of congress in favor of a federal Council.

Granted, but then anarchy spreads across the country like wild fire.

I wish for a never ending insomnia sale!

Granted, but you have to sleep through all of it.

I wish for the ability to learn new languages quickly and easily.

Granted. But you end up wasting this talent on fictional languages.

I wish for the means to unwill a song from my memory.

Granted. but to do so you have to replace it with a song of equal nuisance.

I wish for the ability to go back in time (So as to stop Hitler).

Granted, but you take his place after you become adicted to german blondes.

I wish i become billionaire by create the most espectacular car.