Granted but you then feel an empty void in your life and, desperate to replicate the stimulus gaming provides, you "become" Deus Ex and spend all your time in air vent shafts.

I wish hunters hunted big game without weapons

Granted, but this attracts scads of professional wrestlers, MMA fighters, and Martial arts specialists to big game hunting, turning it into a nationally beloved pay-per-view phenomenon and is more popular than ever.

I wish for a bottle of ginger ale.

Granted but you can no longer tell anymore lies and are forced to always say the truth.

I wish I could watch Season 4 of Game of Thrones right now.

Granted, but it's in Swahili.

I wish I could have been to Woodstock ('69, mind you, not the '99 one) .

Granted, But everyone will die.
I wish to win a giveaway.

Granted, but the giveaway is for herpes.

I wish I never needed to sleep.

Granted, But you will die from going into a coma.

Granted! The good Doctor whisks you off in the TARDIS and drops you in New York on August 15 1969. You presumably have a great time, but unfortunately you got so stoned that you don't really remember anything from the whole concert. However, you do wake up in your own bed in the present time in a puddle of your own piss/vomit.
Edit: and since you were skipped over without a second glance I offer this small pittance for screwing you out of your memories. ;-)

I wish for 1 million bit coins.

You may have 1 million bit coins, but may only exchange them for equally worthless Reddit Gold.

I wish for my consciousness to be implanted in a holodeck orbiting the moon.

That was hurtful ;(

Granted, but there's not a whole lot to see on the moon, so you quickly succumb to lunacy.

I wish Ed Edd and Eddy was still on air.

Lunacy. XD I see what you did there.

Anyway......granted, but the new episodes are terrible and the show continues to get worse with each passing episode. After a controversial Christmas Special episode, the show is quietly taken off the air and never mentioned again.

I wish I knew a martial art.

Granted, but you are now a five foot tall talking rat living in a sewer, devoting your life to your own particular brand of herpetology.

I wish all my friends were happy.

Granted, but they're happy that you're gone. (Too easy!)

I wish Irishmen didn't get the 'being drunk' stereotype.

Granted! Instead they are presumed to be leprechauns that covet pots of gold at the end of rainbows.

I wish the term "politically correct" would just die already...