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DrOblivious: Granted, but the only dentist who accepts your free healthcare plan works with a pizza slicer.

I wish that you two would just shut up and kiss already!
Granted, but I get to watch.
I wish my Mac gets here soon.
Granted! But it comes preloaded with Windows 3.1...

I wish to have my face transplanted with a Baboons ass cheeks.
Granted. Your face is gifted with the buttocks of a female baboon in heat. You are also locked in a cage with 100 sexually frustrated male baboons.

I wish the hills were alive with the sound of music.
Granted! But these hills have eyes and you can't help but feel like you're being watched. And there's some kind of music playing in the distance...is that a banjo? ;-)

I wish I had gaming skillz to rival those of the Grey Bush.
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H3xx: I wish I had gaming skillz to rival those of the Grey Bush.
Granted, but I misheard(read?) you, so you have the gaming skillz of Barbara Bush :)

I wish I had a dollar for every brain I didn't have!
Post edited July 06, 2013 by JohnWalrus
Granted. Unfortunately, the world is merely a figment of your imagination. You have a dollar for every brain there is to have minus one, for a grand total of $0. Enjoy your poverty, you bloody masochist.

I wish Jumanji was real.
Post edited July 06, 2013 by fraien08
Granted, but you lose and the hunter Van Pelt shoots you dead.

I wish I was a good dancer.
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Gandos: Granted, but you lose and the hunter Van Pelt shoots you dead.

I wish I was a good dancer.
Granted, but you can never stop dancing.

I wish I was rich and famous.
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DrOblivious: Granted, but you can never stop dancing.

I wish I was rich and famous.
Granted, but you gain your fame and fortune through evil deeds; as a result, the people grow to despise you and you end up getting killed.

I wish I was a wizard.
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DrOblivious: Granted, but you can never stop dancing.

I wish I was rich and famous.
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Gandos: Granted, but you gain your fame and fortune through evil deeds; as a result, the people grow to despise you and you end up getting killed.

I wish I was a wizard.
Granted, but you will be burnt for being a witch in a matter of a day.

I wish for eternal happiness
Granted, but without sadness, your life can not truly know happiness sinking you into a state of melancholic depression, ending in suicide.

I wish for a pony.
granted but the pony is retarded and gets hit by a truck less than an hour after getting it home.

I wish alcohol had no side effects the next day
Granted, you get a hangover immediately, rather than the next day (though it will probably last that long)

I wish I could be a James Bond villain.
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DrOblivious: Granted, you get a hangover immediately, rather than the next day (though it will probably last that long)

I wish I could be a James Bond villain.
Granted but you'll be mocked for the rest of your life for being called Pussy Galore

I wish my dog could talk to me rather than snorting all the time
Granted. His favorite subject matters include poo, eating poo, eating vomit, sniffing butts and licking his crotch. You really walked into that one.

I wish for a better wish to corrupt.