It seems that you're using an outdated browser. Some things may not work as they should (or don't work at all).
We suggest you upgrade newer and better browser like: Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer or Opera

×
avatar
Shadowstalker16: I've caved. I've finally downvoted some posts. Thanks for bringing real spam to the forums. Your attempts at making the thread you don't like unreadable are working, just hope its worth the non alt downvotes you're earning. Please post more retarded long posts and I'll happily downvote them now that I'm not refraining from downvoting anymore. Every time someone goes low, one must go lower to make the first one stop amiright?
Everyone here is a retard who thinks he/she is smarter than they actually are. Let that fact reassure you and wash over you like a warm blanket on a cold winter night.

Then realize that it includes ALL of us. We're all retarded and it will only get worse as we age and decay and rot. Then one day everyone on Earth that you knew will all be gone, as will the people who knew the people who knew you. One day the last vestiges of our retarded connection with this retarded planet will be blasted away by solar winds shot at our location in space. The sun will go Red Giant and consume our retarded planet and the burning embers of our retarded empire will be lost to Father Time... who, by the way, is retarded.
low rated
Today: 23 Oct 2016 - 15 days out
First hour - The Trump effect, Wikileaks dump 15, Banks pulling out of UK (<i>over brexit</i>), CNN asks undecideds who won debate and regret it, Trump's Gettysburg speech, Bit of history, &amp; [url=http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-trump-att-time-warner-20161022-snap-story.html]Time Warner merger. Election stealing: Keeping false polls close. 70% Trump 30% Hillary, McMullen, wear red every day (especially near polling stations).

Second hour - Tyranny, delusion, cowards. Committed to evil. Cat Cafe attacked by communists, O'Keefe Updates, Election Fraud/history breakdown, 'We can watch NFL later', 'I've never gotten such intel over the years', dissecting Veritas information and connecting events with Wikileaks and public sources. Former federal prosecutor, do everything we can to affect change peacefully and politically.

Full Audio Podcast (<i>1.5 hours</i>)
Full (<i>1.5 hours</i>)
Daily Headlines
Post edited October 24, 2016 by rtcvb32
low rated
avatar
Shadowstalker16: I've caved. I've finally downvoted some posts. Thanks for bringing real spam to the forums. Your attempts at making the thread you don't like unreadable are working, just hope its worth the non alt downvotes you're earning. Please post more retarded long posts and I'll happily downvote them now that I'm not refraining from downvoting anymore. Every time someone goes low, one must go lower to make the first one stop amiright?
I just flip my mentality and think them as rtcvb32 allies for keeping the thread afloat.

They are bringing more attention to this thread then what rtcvb32 can do alone.

That keep me happy and calm.
low rated
avatar
Gnostic: .
How is your sister, Agatha?

Tell her I said hello.
Fun Facts about Uranus

Uranus Is Named after the Greek God Ouranus

Uranus facts reveal that it is the only planet in our solar system named after a Greek god, although its initial name was different. When the planet was discovered in March 1781 by the German-British astronomer William Herschel, he named it Georgium Sidus (George’s Star) in honor of his patron King George III, the then monarch of Great Britain and Ireland.

But the name was not accepted internationally and soon other proposals for a name were given. Eventually, the proposal of German astronomer Johann Elert Bode to name the new planet after the old Greek god of the sky was accepted, using the Latinized version of the deity’s name.

Uranus Needs 84 Earth Years to Orbit the Sun

This means that one Uranus year is equivalent to 84 Earth years, or approximately 30,687 Earth days. But days on Uranus are not the same as on Earth – it takes Uranus 42,718 of its days to orbit the Sun since the days on Uranus are approximately 6 hours and 46 minutes shorter than days on Earth. Now, who can calculate their age is Uranian years?

Uranus Is 63 Times Bigger and 15 Times Heavier than Earth

Its surface is also 16 times bigger than the Earth’s and its radius is four times bigger than the Earth’s. To get a better grasp of its massive size, let us take a look at the numbers: radius approximately 25,500 km, surface area approximately 8,000,000,000 km2, volume approximately 68,000,000,000,000 km3 and mass approximately 87,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kg.

Uranus Is the Coldest Planet in the Solar System

Uranus facts reveal that its climate is not very friendly. It is fairly calm, but very low temperatures, intense seasonal variations, limited atmospheric activity and violently strong winds make it very harsh by the standards of the Earth’s weather. Its conditions mean that Uranus is definitely not a top choice for the future expansion of the human race through space…

Uranus Is Very Different from Earth

In addition to all the differences in time measurement, and size and climate of Uranus and Earth, there are several other Uranus facts that reveal important differences between the two planets. Earth is a much denser planet, with Uranus reaching only about 23% of Earth’s density. Gravity on Uranus is also lower, reaching approximately 90% of Earth’s, and Uranus gets much less solar radiation energy than Earth – almost 400 times less.
Titania Is the Largest Moon of Uranus

Of the 27 moons around Uranus, 5 are considered to be major moons and Titania is the biggest of them all. Its radius is approximately 788 km (about one eighth of Earth’s) and its gravity is almost 30 times less than Earth’s. Titania got its name from William Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, and was named after the queen of the fairies. The moon was discovered by the same man who discovered Uranus a few years earlier – William Herschel. It is the 8th largest moon in our solar system.

Uranus is Composed of Rocks, Water, Hydrogen, Helium, Ammonia and Methane

Uranus facts teach us that this planet’s structure has three layers: the rocky core of silicate and iron-nickel; the mantle, which contains water, ammonia and methane; and the atmosphere which is mostly composed of hydrogen and helium. Most of Uranus’ mass comes from water, ammonia and methane, followed by rocks in the core and the helium and hydrogen in the atmosphere.

Uranus Is Years Away from Earth

The constant motion of planets in the solar system means any distances between planets are always changing, but when Uranus is closest to Earth, the distance between them is 2.6 billion kilometers At its furthest, the distance is 3.2 billion kilometers. That means that light from the Earth can reach Uranus in slightly less than 2 and a half hours when the planets are nearest. But getting a spacecraft from Earth to Uranus would of course take much longer since we cannot travel with the speed of light – the journey would take nearly 10 years.

Only One Probe has Explored Uranus so Far

Considering the vast distance between our planet and Uranus, it is no big surprise that only once spacecraft has approached Uranus in the history of mankind. In 1986, the space probe Voyager 2 flew by Uranus at a distance of approximately 81,500 kilometers, providing us with the majority of data we have on Uranus to this very day.

No other spacecraft has visited Uranus since then, and no future missions to Uranus are confirmed at the moment, but quite a few have been proposed to occur in the next decade. A joint NASA and ESA mission to Uranus – Uranus Pathfinder – is proposed to be launched from Earth in 2022, and Johns Hopkins University proposed another mission that would launch in 2021 and reach Uranus 17 years later – the Herschel Orbital Reconnaissance of the Uranian System (HORUS).

Uranus May Serve as a Mining Site for Helium-3 in the Future

Helium-3 is a non-radioactive isotope of helium that is useful for nuclear fusion and the technologies connected with it (mostly energy and weapon production). Unfortunately, it is very rare on Earth, so it is possible that the human race will mine the isotope on other planets someday. All gas giants in our solar system are much richer with the isotope than Earth is, and Uranus has the lowest escape velocity of them all. This leads some scientists to predict that Uranus might be our first choice for mining when we finally develop the technology that would make this possible.

All 27 of Uranus’ Moons are Named for Characters from the Works of Shakespeare and Pope

Oberon, Titania, Umbriel, Ariel, Miranda, Puck, Perdita, Cupid, Mab, Margaret and others are all named after William Shakespeare’s and Alexander Pope’s characters. One of the moons, Ophelia, was named after a character in one of Shakespeare’s most famous plays, Hamlet. The names for the first moons discovered were chosen by the son of the man who discovered Uranus and its first moons, John Herschel, 30 years after his father had died.
Uranus Is One of the Few Objects in Our Solar System with a Retrograde Rotation

The retrograde rotation of objects in a solar system is defined as opposite to the rotation of the central object – the Sun. Most of the solar system’s planets, its satellites and other objects rotate in a prograde direction; Uranus and Venus are the only planets in our solar system which have a retrograde rotation.

We Do Not Know Exactly What the 13 Uranus Rings Are Made From

Uranus facts reveal that these rings are very dark and faint, which is also the reason that the first of them were only discovered in the late 20th century. Scientists do not currently know what matter these rings consist of, but they presume it is mostly water and ice in combination with an unknown dark radiation-created organic matter. There are currently known to be 13 rings in total, but these were discovered at different times.

The Poles of Uranus Get 42 Years of Constant Sunlight and 42 Years of Constant Darkness

One of the previous Uranus facts already revealed that Uranus needs 84 years to orbit the Sun, and due to its large axis tilt (98 degrees) it lies almost sideways when travelling around the Sun. This causes its poles to lie where the equator lies on Earth. This also means that one pole is directly exposed to sunlight for half of the planet’s orbital time, and the other lies in complete darkness during that period.

The Winds of Uranus Can Reach Speeds Up to 560 mph

For comparison: the winds on Earth can reach speeds up to 250 mph outside tornadoes, and up to around 300 mph inside tornadoes. Such winds are very extreme though, and are thankfully rare. Just as all winds on Earth are not as strong as the maximum speeds, it’s true that not all winds on Uranus reach speeds of over 500 mph. In fact, only winds between +/- 50°-60° latitude are that strong.

The Chemical Element Uranium Is Named after the Planet Uranus

Uranium was discovered in 1789 by the German chemist Martin Heinrich Klaproth, eight years after William Herschel had discovered the planet Uranus. Klaproth choose the name for his chemical element in order to honor the then newly discovered planet. Uranium has a wide range of industrial applications. One of the uses you’re probably most familiar with is its role in fueling nuclear power plants.

Uranus Is 19 Times Farther from the Sun than Earth Is

This is also the reason why Uranus gets much less sunlight than the Earth does and has considerably lower temperatures than we enjoy here. The fact that the distance between the Sun and Uranus is 19 astronomical units (AU) is of course no coincidence – 1 AU is defined as the distance between the Earth and the Sun (about 93 million miles).

In an Alternate Future In Ultima II There Was a City on Uranus

It was called New Jester, and was populated only by jesters. It is presumed they were exiled there for making endless Uranus jokes.
Post edited October 24, 2016 by Breja
Fun Fact:

rtcvb32 DOESN'T EVEN VOTE!!!

Bitch and moan about it. Ruin our lives with it. NEVER ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Brilliant. :P
Post edited October 24, 2016 by tinyE
low rated
avatar
Shadowstalker16: I've caved. I've finally downvoted some posts. Thanks for bringing real spam to the forums. Your attempts at making the thread you don't like unreadable are working, just hope its worth the non alt downvotes you're earning. Please post more retarded long posts and I'll happily downvote them now that I'm not refraining from downvoting anymore. Every time someone goes low, one must go lower to make the first one stop amiright?
avatar
Emob78: Everyone here is a retard who thinks he/she is smarter than they actually are. Let that fact reassure you and wash over you like a warm blanket on a cold winter night.
Hey, I resemble that statement!

But some of us are a little extra special, like tinyE-peeny and agent Snowflake... ;p
low rated
Today: 24 Oct 2016 - 14 days
First hour - Bomb Bunkers, controlled demolition of civilization. Self driving cars, borders, TPP, globalism, Jill Stein democrats masters of corporate politics, Rigging election with Hillary has 92% chance to win, Podesta Emails rigging through oversampling, focus groups 10-5, 'we can't find Hillary supporters anywhere', Professor predicts Trump has 87% chance to win, '<i>The Trump video they don't want you to see</i>', hillary had gun control plants at town hall audience.

Second hour - 95% what's they talk about is on the record. Podesta dump #16, Oversampling. '<i>GOP must do something about conservative media</i>' to survive. [url=https://www.worldaffairsbrief.com/]Skousen: They admit you have to call and threaten about blackballing advertisers, conspire to destroy financial base of alternative media, Michael Savage was taken off air, Breitbart & Infowars causing insurrection of Republican party, Russian citizen recall didn't happen?? Ron Paul built the movement twice and Trump has expanded it, they are panicking and china/type censorship, Hillary is a puppet, growing movements, they are worried after Brexit 25 countries trying to pull out, they need the war to lock down the opposition, Hillary's health: hypothyroid (weak immune-system) and some form of Parkinson's disease, Nixon & Kissinger, 3 Major world powers wanting their own government/control, [url=http://www.uhuh.com/laws/pdd60a.htm]60, Russia watches Alex Jones, US can't start the war but has to be the victim, to induce strikes from Russia US feigns weakness but has secret weapons ready, Philippine leader, likely Russia will be double-crossed by China in/during WW3, mid-grade and below in military are aware, 70's discharged for not going to immoral parties, Israel refused to start war with Iran, chemical weapons, stopped war, ISIS, Mosul, conflict creation (excuse to intervene), Muslims never integrate well. Project Veritas updates.

Third Hour - SJWs terrorize cat sanctuary, social/class warfare. Joel Skousen: Obama & TPP & Paul Ryan, Mormons and Utah/Idaho plants, Podesta Emails, They cannot let Trump win, voter fraud 10 million votes removed to defeat Romney, manipulated landslide against Trump, Once Hillary is in we will never potentially win again (illegal immigrant votes and supreme court), wet works & Scalia, ISIS was made to take out/invade Syria, Turkey funneling intelligence to Russia and play both sides, Putin playing a cat&mouse game, Assad & Iran and the nuclear trap, North Korea trigger for WW3 (not Russia), Other media to be shut down, Bohemian Grove, 'If you do what's right we'll come out ahead'. Project Veritas #3: Creamer confirms hillary Clinton Involvement, Varitas now are armed to defend. 3 more major videos to be release. 3rd debate, big donors.

Fourth Hour - Joel Skousen: WW 1/2 to try and push world government, 3 satanic groups, get kids out of public schools, sample votes vs machine to verify machines, demand audit for this election, Glenn beck is finished, don't get attached to big business, 1991 & 1999 history, 9/11 was a government operation from beginning to end, Soros and advertisements, 'if you don't see it, it's because you don't want to see it', 'I'm amazed at how many people are willfully blind', Trump is his own person and has a benign energy a 'good man with weaknesses', CIA agents the dark side of the government 'worse than you can imagine', FBI Comey a political plant/coverup, brainwashing temptations corruption and conscience, biblical history and metaphysical. Operation Jonas? as alternate vote/counting to be used. Wikileaks: [url=http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2016/10/wikileaks-list-least-65-msm-reporters-meeting-andor-coordinating-offline-top-hillary-advisors/]at least 65 reports meeting/coordinating with top Hillary advisers, Concern growing over Soros linked voting machines, voting fraud history, Hillary ordered '<i>ducks</i>' to trump rallies.

Full Audio Podcast (<i>3 hours</i>)
Full (<i>3 hours</i>)

Part 2
Attachments:
Post edited October 25, 2016 by rtcvb32
Early History of Sanitary Sewers

3200 BCE Scotland

The Orkney Islands are the location of excavations that show early drainage systems.
First lavatory-like plumbing systems were fitted into recesses in the walls of homes -- with drained outlets.
Certain liquid wastes drained to area(s) either under or outside of buildings/homes.


4000 - 2500 BCE Eshnunna/Babylonia - Mesopotamian Empire (Iraq)

Had stormwater drain systems in the streets; drains were constructed of sun-baked bricks or cut stone. Some homes were connected. [The need for proper disposal of human wastes was not fully understood -- but there was a recognition of some of the benefits (less odor, etc.) of taking these wastes away from homes.]
In Babylon, in some of the larger homes, people squatted over an opening in the floor of a small interior room. The wastes fell through the opening into a perforated cesspool located under the house. Those cesspools were often made of baked perforated clay rings -- ranging in size from 18" to 36" in diameter -- stacked atop each other. Smaller homes often had smaller cesspools (18" diameter); larger homes ... more people ... had larger diameter cesspools. The annular space (1') outside of the cesspools' walls were often filled with pieces of broken pottery to better the percolation rates.
Origin of the earliest known pipe: Babylonia was documented by many as one of the first places to mold clay into pipe (via potter's wheel). Tees and angle joints were produced and then baked to make drainage pipe ... all as early as 4000 BCE.

3000 - 2000 BCE Indus Civilization - City of Mohenjo-daro (Pakistan)

Mohenjo-daro: "The Mound of the Dead."
Well-evolved society: commerce, wheeled vehicles, domesticated animals, cotton cloth.
Wealthy lived well; peasants lived in hovels (but many had sanitation facilities).
Drainage systems were located in the streets (masonry; rectangular x-sections).
At the ends of the drains were wooden "bar screens." Liquids entered brick-lined cesspools (soak-pits) or were conveyed to the local river for discharge.
Homes had bathrooms -- on the street sides -- connected to sewers in streets.
Bathrooms and latrines were often located next to each other (wells were often nearby, in an adjacent room) inside each home on the street side of the home. The bathroom being located next to the latrine indicates that people understood the importance of cleanliness. Water was used for flushing.
Second-floor bathrooms existed, with terra-cotta piping and vents. Some homes had garbage chutes.
Solids traps were located along plumbing lines and also along street drains (sewers).
Some homes connected to underground soakage (perforated) jars.
Manholes (with stone covers) were positioned along the street drains.


3000 - 100 BCE Aegean Civilization - Isle of Crete (Minoans)

Crete was an island of variable climate and geography; it also had steep slopes.
Knowledge of "hydraulics" was quite evolved.
Until Roman times, Minoan plumbing and drainage were the most developed in what was then the Western World.
Drainage systems of terra-cotta pipe (clay pipe with bell & spigot joints, sealed with cement) and open-topped channelized drainage systems built of stone conveyed storm water primarily, but also human wastes. Some of the sewers were large enough for people to walk through.
Bathtubs with no drains were used. Latrines were flushed with water from large jars.
Many of the drains from 2000 BCE are still in beneficial service today on Crete.
The Royal Palace at Knossos had a latrine on the ground floor with a rooftop "overhead" water reservoir (which collected rainwater): the first flush toilet!? The toilet consisted of a wooden seat, earthenware "pan," and the rooftop reservoir as a source of water.


2000 - 500 BCE Egypt/Palestine

Certain homes of aristocrats had copper pipes that carried hot and cold water.
Many religious ceremonies included bathing.
Complex public waterworks were constructed in Palestine.
Later, religious aspects of bathing were strengthened by Jews under Mosaic Laws. Bodily cleanliness equated with moral purity under the rule of King David and King Solomon.
In Egypt, certain more well-to-do homes had "toilets" -- the toilets used beds of sand to catch/contain the wastes. Servants cleaned the sand regularly.
726 years before the birth of Christ (in the reign of King Hezekiah), the City of Jerusalem built a "pool" and a conduit to bring water to the city [II Kings, Chapter 20, 20th verse].


300 BCE - 500 CE Greece

Pipes of lead (of lengths of 10 feet or more) and bronze were used by the Greeks to distribute water.
The sizes of lead pipe in the early years took their names, not from the resulting internal diameters, but from the width of the sheet of lead before it was bent into a pipe. The linear joint was soldered with an alloy of lead and tin.
Greece had a system of aqueducts, but for the most part, few above-ground structural arches were incorporated; a lot of tunnels through hills, siphons under valley/rivers, etc.
Sewers in Athens delivered storm water and human wastes to a collection basin outside of town.
From the basin, the storm water and wastes were conveyed through brick-lined conduits to fields to irrigate (and fertilize) fruit orchards and field crops.


200 BCE - Early CE China

The contents of a tomb of a King of the Western Han Dynasty shows the presence of an antique latrine, complete with facilities for running water, a stone seat, and a comfortable armrest.


800 BCE - 300 CE Rome

Complex drain systems evolved (initially, and primarily, for storm water and for draining marshes).
Public latrines were used by many people, but for the most part, human wastes were thrown into the street.
First sewer constructed between 800 and 735 BCE.
Rome had extensive street washing programs (water supplied by aqueducts, the first being built in 312 BCE). Only a few homes had water piped directly from the aqueducts. The vast majority of the people came to fountains to gather their water. Even though not many homes were directly plumbed into the sewers, when the wastes were thrown into the street, the street washing resulted in most of the human wastes ending up in the sewers anyway!
Direct connection of homes to the sewers was not mandated until nearly 100 CE. (Cost was a factor; also mandating such a connection was then considered an invasion of privacy.)
Sewage resulting from the public baths and the included latrines was discharged into sewers. It is worth noting that the Romans recognized the value of their water (which had been transported to the city via aqueducts, often over a distance of 20-30 miles); as such, any wastewater from the public bath facilities was often re-used, frequently as the flushing water that flowed continuously through the public latrine facilities. From the latrines, it flowed to a point of discharge into the sewer system.
The Romans were proud of their "rooms of easement" (i.e., latrines). Public baths included such rooms -- adjacent to gardens. There Roman officials would sometimes continue discussions with visiting dignitaries while sitting on the latrines. Elongated rectangular platforms with several adjacent seats were utilized (some with privacy partitions, but most without). These latrine rooms were often co-ed, as were the baths. As noted earlier, water from the public baths, or brush water from the aqueduct system, flowed continuously in troughs beneath the latrine seats; the sewage (along with waste bath water) was delivered to the sewers beneath the city, and eventually to the Tiber River.
Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.

Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.

Abbott: I certainly do.

Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.

Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.

Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...

Costello: His brother Daffy.

Abbott: Daffy Dean...

Costello: And their French cousin.

Abbott: French?

Costello: Goofè.

Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...

Costello: That's what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who's on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing...

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who's playing first?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets...

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Who gets the money...

Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Who's wife?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign...

Abbott: That's how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.

Costello: I'm not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on first?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don't want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher's name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don't want to tell me today?

Abbott: I'm telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow!

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.

Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher's name?

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That's all you have to do.

Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.

Abbott: Yes!

Costello: Now who's got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's different.

Costello: That's what I said.

Abbott: You're not saying it...

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's what I said!

Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: What?

Costello: I said I don't give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Botany.
Botany who?
Botany good locks lately?


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Honey bee.
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a soda.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?funny jokes - juno
Yacht!
Yacht who?
Yacht a know me by now!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno that I'm out here, right?


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Says!
Says who?
Says me, that's who?


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Ima.
Ima who?
Ima psychiatrist. I'm here 'cause you won't open up!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?
Amosquito just bit me!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Mary Lee.
Mary Lee who?
Mary Lee down the stream.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Andy!
Andy who?
Andy mosquito bit me again!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Xavier.
Xavier who?
Xavier breath and open that door!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Acid!
Acid who?
Acid down and be quiet!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don't let me in!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Cousin!
Cousin who?
Cousin stead of opening the door, you're making me stand here!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah way to open the door?


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Sadie!
Sadie who?
Sadie air is hot out here!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Armageddon!
Armageddon who?
Armageddon out of here!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
OK, W_H_O.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you and please cover your mouth next time.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Mikey!
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn't fit in the keyhole!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better knock-knock joke than this.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow!
Interrupt-
Moo!!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie way you can let me in now.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Venice.
Venice who?
Venice this door gonna open?


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice door open, please?


Knock, Knock!
Island!
Island who?
Island here and you won't open up!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I'm fine. Hawaii you?
avatar
Breja:
That was...actually an interesting read. Thanks.
Random facts like this always entertain me.
avatar
Breja:
avatar
zeogold: That was...actually an interesting read. Thanks.
Random facts like this always entertain me.
zeo, I know you are a an accomplished and hard working student, which leads me to wonder how you manage to find the time to hang out in here? :P
Post edited October 25, 2016 by tinyE
avatar
tinyE: zeo, I know you are a an accomplished and hard working student, which leads me to wonder how you manage to find the time to hang out in here? :P
One tab is for work, the other is perpetually on the forum.
When having nothing better to do, I refresh like nobody's business, waiting for the next lousy joke to make.
It's not easy, but SOMEBODY'S gotta do it.
low rated
Part 1

Daily Headlines

Nightly News - First 100 days, 28 contract items Trump will do. Consolidation of power, Clinton banks Glass Steagall, Oprah's endorsement and the internet of things, 1 in 4 students at L.A. high school migrated from Central America (<i>many without their parents</i>) consequences of open borders, Some low income families, retirement only a dream, a race to the bottom. Plants for gun control at town hall, Ex-Captain enters senate race with 32 second blindfolded video assembling AR-15, California demands repayment of enlistment bonuses from 10 years ago, polls oversampling, at least 65 reporters in collusion with Clintons/Podesta, texas director of elections, issues: Waived printing of paper backup results, Ignoring laws requiring printing of legally sufficient ballot for recounts, Waiving auditing laws. Concerns of electronic-only voting machines 2013 Philippines 24% of votes just disappeared. Poll monitoring on election day, auditing processes. Concern growing over Soros linked voting machines, AZ, CA, CO, WA, WA-DC, FL, IL, LU, MI, MS, VA, WI, OR. Refugee and rapes in Europe, Iraqi raped 10yo boy which got overturned because he had a 'sexual emergency'. Billionaires owning media and the bias, Military warns Chinese gear poses cyber spy threat.


Other Links:
https://compoundmedia.com http://lionelmedia.com http://rsbn.tv/ http://www.zerohedge.com http://joelgilbert.net https://www.worldaffairsbrief.com http://projectveritas.com
Post edited October 25, 2016 by rtcvb32