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I was at the airport yesterday and I saw an incredibly beautiful young girl. And then she she took a bite out of sandwich and chewed it with her mouth hanging open and her jaw swaying like a cow's. And suddenly, she wasn't attractive anymore.

I get the same way from a girl with a cigarette.

It's not that I just dislike an activity, but my brain now completely changed what I see. Ignored flaws are now highlighted and I just don't like what I see.

I find this sort of thing quite interesting. I think our brains are wired to see attraction in things besides a perfect golden ratio. Voice quality, musculature underneath a shirt, glasses or a book in a hand can become instant attractants for some. I even know people who are attracted to a girl with a cigarette, which makes me not attracted.

I'm misophonic, so I think that's why the appearance of the girl's mouth changed my perception. I can't have a mate who Chee with their mouth open, even if I couldn't hear it at the airport from a girl in the distance.

Now, I'm happily married, not interested in asking out anybody, let alone a stranger in a strange city. But I can't deny that my brain regularly makes immediate judgment calls concerning potential mates. Perhaps my judgement is even an instant turn-off for some folks.

So, if you've paid attention to your brain, what sort of things can make a man or woman do from gorgeous to hideous in a matter of milliseconds?

Have you had a long term relationship with someone you found repulsive at first from one of those qualities? If so, did that quality matter?

I knew a guy who found a girl repulsive. He married her after enough pressure to date. He found her repulsion to be refreshing because he was able to focus on the less physical aspects of their relationship, which was often a struggle for him. And then the physical relationship grew out of nothing from that. That said, they're divorced now. So maybe our brains are telling us something.

I'm also curious if anyone had been in an arranged marriage and were repulsed but had to overcome that.

Thoughts?
I almost feel you're asking the wrong forum in general.
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Darvond: I almost feel you're asking the wrong forum in general.
Nay. gog general has always been the spot for stuff coming from left-field. Its tendency for curveballs that swing a bit deeper than what you'd get from your average pitch has always been one of my favourite things about it. I've degenerated into baseball metaphors.
low rated
Stop judging people. I dare say we all do things others don't like.
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Tallima: I was at the airport yesterday and I saw an incredibly beautiful young girl. And then she she took a bite out of sandwich and chewed it with her mouth hanging open and her jaw swaying like a cow's. And suddenly, she wasn't attractive anymore.

I get the same way from a girl with a cigarette.

It's not that I just dislike an activity, but my brain now completely changed what I see. Ignored flaws are now highlighted and I just don't like what I see.

I find this sort of thing quite interesting. I think our brains are wired to see attraction in things besides a perfect golden ratio. Voice quality, musculature underneath a shirt, glasses or a book in a hand can become instant attractants for some. I even know people who are attracted to a girl with a cigarette, which makes me not attracted.

I'm misophonic, so I think that's why the appearance of the girl's mouth changed my perception. I can't have a mate who Chee with their mouth open, even if I couldn't hear it at the airport from a girl in the distance.

Now, I'm happily married, not interested in asking out anybody, let alone a stranger in a strange city. But I can't deny that my brain regularly makes immediate judgment calls concerning potential mates. Perhaps my judgement is even an instant turn-off for some folks.

So, if you've paid attention to your brain, what sort of things can make a man or woman do from gorgeous to hideous in a matter of milliseconds?

Have you had a long term relationship with someone you found repulsive at first from one of those qualities? If so, did that quality matter?

I knew a guy who found a girl repulsive. He married her after enough pressure to date. He found her repulsion to be refreshing because he was able to focus on the less physical aspects of their relationship, which was often a struggle for him. And then the physical relationship grew out of nothing from that. That said, they're divorced now. So maybe our brains are telling us something.

I'm also curious if anyone had been in an arranged marriage and were repulsed but had to overcome that.

Thoughts?
Move to Seattle, there's so few women here that you'll settle for somebody that's technically a woman and not completely repulsive.

If you're being that picky, that means you're spoiled rotten and I'd like to know what town you live in so I can move there. The women around here, when it comes to dating, are insufferable.
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David9855: Stop judging people. I dare say we all do things others don't like.
I'm always doing thing other people disapprove of, like breathing. :D
Post edited September 29, 2018 by tinyE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOybOdWctT4
Inb4 people trying to murder Tallima because "not politically correct" "something shaming" "sexist racist" "all should be equally attarctive because reasons".
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Tallima: misophonic
Wow, I just learned something new. An interesting syndrome, I am pretty sure I've met some similar people, where I've been "WTF?" when they've suddenly told me not to eat so "loudly", when I've felt I eat quite normally. I've always wondered what the heck that was about. Now I know.

It is not like that one ex-colleague of mine who'd always openly cough at the lunch table towards others (and their food). I once asked whether he could cough away from other people when we are eating, I guess it ever really occurred to him people would care (or then he just didn't care if others care).

As for your actual questions, I don't really know for sure. Sure I've found some details in some people I've known a bit repulsive (like seeing someone's spine clearly at their back etc.), but I think it is quite normal.

Your airport story reminded me of some movie or TV show episode, I can't remember anymore what it was... but there was some CSI kind of scene where a policeman or someone was in a crime lab or something and talked with a lady working in the lab. I recall thinking the lab lady was very attractive looking... until suddenly when she smiled (or tried to smile). Hard to describe, it seemed like a gruesome smile, like her face was deformed or something. My first thought was that she had some kind of partial face paralysis/stroke.

And I can't really tell if she really looked like that or was it somehow the lighting in the lab etc. I wish I could remember what it was, I'd like to check the scene picture per picture.

Oh and of course there was the Seinfeld episode of the lady with two faces...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFeUrC2gR30 Hey?!? What's with people linking to Seinfeld episodes?!?
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hedwards: Move to Seattle, there's so few women here
I've heard about that, so what's the story with it then? There are only technology universities in Seattle? Chicks don't like grunge and Nirvana? What?
Post edited September 29, 2018 by timppu
im pretty much the same way. notice one little stupid thing and boom, its all over. i'm very visually oriented and thus have difficulty disengaging that part of my brain.

ive been married 10 years, but my wife and i can be a bit liek that toward each other even now. when i engage my egg white, chicken breast, broccoli, and protein shake training meal routine my wife and kids run for the hills. and frankly i don't blame her. i am a smelly smelly foul vile beast when i eat like that on the daily.
Post edited September 29, 2018 by fortune_p_dawg
Well, it's pretty normal.

It was summer and now the weather is turning to fall.
low rated
Why are you looking at young girls with sex on your mind?
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Darvond: I almost feel you're asking the wrong forum in general.
I wanted to ask so that we could get to another interesting question.

How likely is it that developers (or tv/movie writers, directors, producers) look into these aspects of our psyche to help us be attracted and care for characters?

For the Witcher 3, I found Yennefer to not be all that attractive physically, but I found her character to be very attractive once I got to spend time with her. She's smart, matter-of-fact, steady. After some time, I found her character model to be more attractive. Certainly not the same way as with a real human, but in a certain suspension of disbelief sort of way.

Some RPGs I've played have poor image quality, so it's all in the dialog. A certain manner is used, and suddenly, you believe a 10 year romance after 30 lines in an hour's time.

I know it's possible to make a person attractive, but it may be difficult to dodge some of our strange beauty-dulling attributes. I've never seen a character slurp their soup, but I have seen smokers. I've even seen about voices, but not in love interests.
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morolf: Why are you looking at young girls with sex on your mind?
Young like 25. And not with sex on my mind. Just attractive.
Post edited September 30, 2018 by Tallima
I'll just drop this here.
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morolf: Why are you looking at young girls with sex on your mind?
because he has a penis?

On the topic of females in games I generally quite easily find them all attractive if they are attractive because I don't look at imaginary people in videogames the same way I do real people. Still it's very surface level. I reflexively tend towards a very gender neutral standpoint of females I meet in reality. There were always exceptions but for me the trope of looking over and bam! was rare honestly. I'd be struck by something in who somebody is just as often as what they looked like.

The other thing with me and games like rpgs is I always end up resenting the person that's set up as the love interest. Didn't really like the romantic undertones with Alyx in HALF-LIFE. Almost came to hate Bastila. Was always more of a Shani guy. I guess Lydia might be the exception to that. Lydia's pretty badass. Crimson Khana is probably the best example of the cock blocking my dislike for the videogame's arranged marriage results in.