Been thinking... Both AlphaOmegaSin and ReviewTechUSA have basically said the same thing, that the trailer is extra violent and controversial just to get attention on it so it can get basically free advertising because everyone's talking about it.

Back a few pages ago I posted that I would never play this game. Yet AOS and RTU brought up points regarding other games in comparison and in some ways how that might make me a hypocrite. I've shot rocket launchers at monsters in doom, done head shots in Halo, assassinated dozens of people in Assassin's Creed games. So what's the difference?

The difference I guess, is how it makes you feel. A video game can't teach you how to fire a gun, even the scope-like ones aren't the same as actually holding a weapon, especially when bullets get jammed and need attention. Everything that happens in the game is 'pretend'.

But there is a distinct difference in it all. The more realistic the game is, the less I want to play it. I'd rather be able to launch fireballs and see ragdoll physics and other things in Oblivion, than play Metal of Honor or Call of Duty. I was in the military, I was almost sent to Iraq. I was trained to use the weapons, last thing I need is a heavy reminder of what could have been.

But perhaps something more relevant. There was a month period while I was at a military base, where I felt crappy, and so everything turned to this energizing rage that just fueled me. I listened to high energy music, Nickelback and Evenesense. I was in perhaps the most... premeditated and aggressive state I've ever been in. I drove my car fast and hard, I was one step away from decking anyone; Thank god we were only issued weapons during training or an emergency, otherwise the temptation to use it if/when I snapped would be too great. Being aggressive is much like depression, the longer you're in it, the harder it is to let it go, it starts to become your normal state.

Back to hatred, perhaps the biggest issue is who are the targets: Badguys, nazis, guys with guns, angels and aliens, monsters on a wet-erase marker mat, pixelated tiles, etc, they are defined in a safe separate section that's put to rest in your mind, almost no one is a bystander.

But there are always some lines you don't cross even when 'pretending'. Even reading a book with stark and very vivid descriptions of using torture pushes the boundaries. It's not pretend when you're in the scene and in their shoes. It's not something I ever want to experience again.

In Hatred, I see a lot of lines being crossed that I wouldn't want to see how dark my mind really is. I never want to hear someone begging for their life when it's at my hands; I don't care if it's only a video game. I know I'd become a real monster if I became desensitized, if I became any more emotionless/robotic than I already am. And trust me, if that ever happens, pulling a trigger is just as easy as clicking a mouse button, especially if you already know how to handle the weapon.

I never want to find myself there.

Take my wall of text however you will, be it internal worry, a blog, or just another opinion. I'm not trying to sway anyone, just felt like speaking my mind on the topic.