Yes, I do. Much better than black tea, but not as much as green.

Next person owns a two-wheeled vehicle with an engine (motorcycle, moped, scooter, etc.).

Bicycle. But i have to use it for almost 2 decades now. Seems like brand new, at least.

Next person loves spiderbros!

This person does not know what a spiderbro is.

Next person, when given a choice, always (or almost always) picks the female character.

But of course, i LOVE eyecandy! Plus, in MMO, picking a female character is basic strategy, since each and every hard-on-nerd just gifts you things randomly, thinking you might be a real girl-gamer and all, or something!

Next person has fapped to a female video game character before...

This user doesn't understand what you are talking about.

Next user misses the "corrupt a wish" topic (which hasn't had any new posts recently).

No. To be honest, I don't like system-wide achievements. In-game achievements are OK, provided that you don't have to do the harder ones to unlock anything, and there aren't any of what I call "achievement abuses".

There are three types of achievement abuses I can think of:
1. Those that you are basically guaranteed to get in casual play of the game without looking at the Achievement list. (For example, reaching X part of the game, or killing mandatory boss Y.) I might make an exception for a "beating the game" achievement, but it should be possible (barring things like major skips, which are the sort of thing that *should* be added to the achievement list after they're discovered) to beat the game without getting any other achievement.
2. Achievements that are unreasonable and aren't even a good challenge. For example, reaching a high level in an RPG (or other game with RPG style leveling) where reaching that level would take an unreasonable amount of time. For example, reaching level 60 in the Naphistim engine Ys games; after you reach the mid-50s or so, every enemy gives only 1 experience points.
3. Achievements that not everyone can get. This includes online multiplayer achievements or other achievements related to online services (exception for games that are primarily online), achievements that require reaching a rank on a leaderboard, achievements that require you to have kickstarted the game, etc.

(Yes, I know I have rambled along a bit.)

Next person wishes that Mizhena were playable in the new Baldur's Gate expansion. (She apparently has really good stats.)

I might, if I ever get around to playing Baldur's Gate. It's on the list, but I'm in no rush.

Next person has all the time in the world to play whatever game interests them most.

Almost. I have lots of time, but not nearly enough for ANYTHING, let alone EVERYTHING, i want to be doing.

Next person would never sleep with that fugly messed up amber scott thing, even if it was the last living animal on earth.

No, I have a girlfriend who I love

The next person is a neck beard with impossibly high standards

I am going to go with "no" here.

Next person's gender identity is the same as Prince's.

Completely false. Also, i never did drugs and this isn't going to change, until i die from natural causes (or war).

Next person thinks celebrities are really, really, really overrated. I mean, daily, thousands of people die, yet only ONE for about ten thousands is actually remembered, mourned, missed...

I do not know where I fit, since I do not care one bit about celebrities. Yes, I know who a few of them are, if I have seen it in a movie or listened a song, but I do not care what they do on their daily basis.
They do the same things like the rest of us, eating, sleeping, taking a walk outside, buying groceries, so I do not think that they are overrated, I think that their fans made it that way, although I guess that from time to time indeed you see a famous person that thinks himself or herself as a diva.

Next person did not watched a Studio Ghibli movie.

Yes, but only during my 're-education' treatments.

The next person can't quit sniffing glue.

Only medicinal glue.

The next person is a secret member of the Blue Man Group.