Unfortunately, it happens to turn the swine into murderous demons.

Fortunately/Unfortunately,due to nearly catching a bug a *hitman* has been hired for a special purpose.

Fortunately, Uncle Kleetus is also a highly celebrated and qualified clergyman and performs a spiritual cleansing ceremony.

Greetings fellow forumite, giver of gifts, knower of knowns, taker of trouble and purveyor of all things.

You've cracked the big 70, look at you?

I think once you hit 100 it will be easier to accept.

Unfortunately, the demons are now just shinier.

Fortunately, The Shining was just a movie.

Fortunately, I see dead people.

(BTW, I love you, DT)

Unfortunately,Kleetus loves everyone except me and is a known *cereal pest.*

Fortunately, Kleetus doesn't eat cereal, saturated fats FTW.

That's why my hair is so soft and shiny, I'm sexy.

Unfortunately, it also means your hair isn't as curly as mine.

(I am not talking about my avatar here; my real-life hair is actually curly.)

Fortunately, that's not true and it's much curlier than yours.

So much so that I've had people remark and mistake it for pubic hair.

Afros FTW.

Fortunately, I have longer hair than you do.

Unfortunately, you do not, my hair is halfway down my back

Fortunately, I actually do know someone with longer hair than you. In fact, it is so long that she has to be careful not to accidentally sit on it.