Wise words :)

Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.

What happened to then?

We passed then.

When?

Just now. We're at now now.

Go back to then.

When?

Now.

Now?

Now.

I can't.

Why?

We missed it.

When?

Just now.

When will then be now?

Soon.

Love that scene. And that other one, too... and those before and after...

I personally think this is the most insightful quote in this thread yet.

Thanks for that....

Some more information... the separation occurred in January 2015.... i am in a happy relationship today. Thought that might lighten my mood toward the old marriage? No.

If i am totally honest, i will have to say that its probably certain occurrences since the separation that makes me feel this way more than anything else.

It all went south when she decided i am not to have any overnight stay with our then 3 year old daughter, even though i was in the family home and my ex moved to her mothers. Our daughter was moping around saying repeatedly "i want to go home now" But no.

If you are wondering - there are no issues of violence or drugs or drinking, nothing, we are both normal people.

What else she did... she stopped me seeing my daughter entirely for five months because i did not agree to her financial settlement offer. Only her lawyer stepped up and made her let me see my daughter again.

While that was going on she stole 4 thousand out of my personal account which was linked 'jointly' to the joint mortgage account. I could not meet the repayments for the mortgage, i could not get my car repaired, so i had no car,
I am getting calls from creditors, fines for automatic payments rejected, cannot pay my lawyer, the list goes on.

You think you know a person.... but when they turn out to be something which you are entirely unfamiliar, that is when you start to think all the memories are just worthless bullshit because this person was 'never' the person you thought they were.

Any Transformers movie can't be meant, right?

I like all the transformer movies..... although i don't get the inability to hold on to actors? Not like there is any Harrison Fords or Vin Diesels in the movie! geesh. Other sci fi movie series know how to at least change the timeline before changing actors! lol

I liked his role in "Let's go home kids, the Superbowl is over!" :D

Huh, ok then, mebe they should get Mark to do the next XXX movie and see how that turns out?

I can understand how the way your marriage ended can leave a lasting, bitter taste in your mouth; I'm very sorry it did, sadly it's a lot more common as I know of other, quite similar cases.

From what you shared, however, you very much have reasons to smile, the biggest reason ever, actually

You were blessed with the most precious outcome a relationship/marriage can lead to - a child; your daughter's existence alone is more than enough to have you smiling for the rest of your life, for everything around and about this part you experienced that led to her birth, as well as the first few years you shared as a (happy, I assume) family. It is very unfortunate that the (nuclear) family bond broke, but it does not undo the fact that good things happened between the two of you.

So, again imo, those memories are most definitely not worthless bullshit, no matter how bad things turned out.

Regarding that last bit about "this person was 'never' the person you thought they were" - people, feelings and relationships are dynamic, they grow, evolve, adjust, change over time depending on a number of factors, not all of them under our control. People change and sometimes act/react in ways even they themselves would not expect of themselves if asked under different circumstances.
Were there any signs back then that she wasn't actually the person you knew her to be, or signs consistent with how she handled things after the separation? If there weren't, have you considered that you may be projecting into the past, on her and your past relationship with her, the negative experience you had in the future? Because if there weren't, what you shared was real within the context of time and circumstances you shared it. You seem to let all the bad things that followed the separation taint everything that proceeded; cherishing the good things, and smiling about them, does not equate to exonerating the other party from their responsibilities in things that went bad.

Sorry for the long-winded reply, apologies if I've overstepped in anything I said, and I hope it's clear that I'm just trying to show you my perspective, and not judging you or making excuses for her.