Posted February 18, 2017
gogamess
RPG's
gogamess Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Dec 2013
From Spain
Elvis is Dead
Find me in STEAM OT
Elvis is Dead Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Dec 2012
From Other
Posted February 18, 2017
Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
What happened to then?
We passed then.
When?
Just now. We're at now now.
Go back to then.
When?
Now.
Now?
Now.
I can't.
Why?
We missed it.
When?
Just now.
When will then be now?
Soon.
What happened to then?
We passed then.
When?
Just now. We're at now now.
Go back to then.
When?
Now.
Now?
Now.
I can't.
Why?
We missed it.
When?
Just now.
When will then be now?
Soon.
toxicTom
Big Daddy
toxicTom Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Feb 2009
From Germany
bad_fur_day1
Here they grow again
bad_fur_day1 Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Oct 2013
From New Zealand
mystikmind2000
New User
mystikmind2000 Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Sep 2012
From Australia
Posted February 22, 2017
mystikmind2000: Is it too negative to think that if you had those nice experiences with a partner/wife then that partner dispose of you saying the relationship is not worth fighting for - then the memories are proved to have no value? You know, because if it was valuable, its worth fighting for? (i got a scorched earth policy for all good memories in between 2007 to 2015)
HypersomniacLive: It doesn't work like that from where I'm standing. If what you experienced with said partner enriched your life and brought you joy/happiness while it lasted, then the memories can't be of no value; scratching off everything only because it's over is what takes away the value. Why let the other party's decision retroactively define the value of the experience and the memories that come with it for you? Would you prefer to never have had the experience, and the good things that came with it? Hasn't that experience, and the good that came with it, contributed at all into shaping you into the person you are now? You may be sad, angry or bitter now that it's over, but that doesn't change the fact that the experience brought good things into your life while it lasted; one can still be happy about that part, and smile. One can even smile about a lot less. Consider the case you meet the person you both feel you'd be happy together, but in the end that person regrettably decides against giving it a shot. Would that make you sad? Yes, it would, but at the same time you can still be happy, hence smile, that you even met this person as the acquaintance alone and getting to know them enriched your life in ways you'd have never experienced if you hadn't met them.
One can have reasons to smile about even less than that. If one meets somebody and develops feelings of affection for that person, even if the feelings are not reciprocated, one can still smile and be happy they were given the chance to experience those feelings. They may not be able to smile right away, but over time, when the sadness of unrequited love and the feelings themselves subside, it's possible to see how even this experience holds something positive for them; if they choose to see it, they can smile, perhaps even channel it into other things and aspects of life.
It's all about the perspective we choose. JMO, of course.
On a side note, taking it from your point of view - if you think it's worth fighting for, then I don't think you really believe that the memories proved to have no value, at least not what concerns you.
Some more information... the separation occurred in January 2015.... i am in a happy relationship today. Thought that might lighten my mood toward the old marriage? No.
If i am totally honest, i will have to say that its probably certain occurrences since the separation that makes me feel this way more than anything else.
It all went south when she decided i am not to have any overnight stay with our then 3 year old daughter, even though i was in the family home and my ex moved to her mothers. Our daughter was moping around saying repeatedly "i want to go home now" But no.
If you are wondering - there are no issues of violence or drugs or drinking, nothing, we are both normal people.
What else she did... she stopped me seeing my daughter entirely for five months because i did not agree to her financial settlement offer. Only her lawyer stepped up and made her let me see my daughter again.
While that was going on she stole 4 thousand out of my personal account which was linked 'jointly' to the joint mortgage account. I could not meet the repayments for the mortgage, i could not get my car repaired, so i had no car,
I am getting calls from creditors, fines for automatic payments rejected, cannot pay my lawyer, the list goes on.
You think you know a person.... but when they turn out to be something which you are entirely unfamiliar, that is when you start to think all the memories are just worthless bullshit because this person was 'never' the person you thought they were.
gamefood
The flamin beer will burp you down!
gamefood Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Apr 2009
From Germany
mystikmind2000
New User
mystikmind2000 Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Sep 2012
From Australia
Posted February 22, 2017
I like all the transformer movies..... although i don't get the inability to hold on to actors? Not like there is any Harrison Fords or Vin Diesels in the movie! geesh. Other sci fi movie series know how to at least change the timeline before changing actors! lol
Elvis is Dead
Find me in STEAM OT
Elvis is Dead Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Dec 2012
From Other
Posted February 22, 2017
Mark Wahlberg is an A-List actor. He has more Oscar nominations than Vin.
gamefood
The flamin beer will burp you down!
gamefood Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Apr 2009
From Germany
Posted February 22, 2017
mystikmind2000: I like all the transformer movies..... although i don't get the inability to hold on to actors? Not like there is any Harrison Fords or Vin Diesels in the movie! geesh. Other sci fi movie series know how to at least change the timeline before changing actors! lol
tinyE: Mark Wahlberg is an A-List actor. He has more Oscar nominations than Vin. mystikmind2000
New User
mystikmind2000 Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Sep 2012
From Australia
Posted February 22, 2017
mystikmind2000: I like all the transformer movies..... although i don't get the inability to hold on to actors? Not like there is any Harrison Fords or Vin Diesels in the movie! geesh. Other sci fi movie series know how to at least change the timeline before changing actors! lol
tinyE: Mark Wahlberg is an A-List actor. He has more Oscar nominations than Vin. HypersomniacLive
The Reluctant Voter
HypersomniacLive Sorry, data for given user is currently unavailable. Please, try again later. View profile View wishlist Start conversation Invite to friends Invite to friends Accept invitation Accept invitation Pending invitation... Unblock chat Registered: Sep 2011
From Vatican City
Posted February 22, 2017
mystikmind2000: Thanks for that....
Some more information... the separation occurred in January 2015.... i am in a happy relationship today. Thought that might lighten my mood toward the old marriage? No.
If i am totally honest, i will have to say that its probably certain occurrences since the separation that makes me feel this way more than anything else.
It all went south when she decided i am not to have any overnight stay with our then 3 year old daughter, even though i was in the family home and my ex moved to her mothers. Our daughter was moping around saying repeatedly "i want to go home now" But no.
If you are wondering - there are no issues of violence or drugs or drinking, nothing, we are both normal people.
What else she did... she stopped me seeing my daughter entirely for five months because i did not agree to her financial settlement offer. Only her lawyer stepped up and made her let me see my daughter again.
While that was going on she stole 4 thousand out of my personal account which was linked 'jointly' to the joint mortgage account. I could not meet the repayments for the mortgage, i could not get my car repaired, so i had no car,
I am getting calls from creditors, fines for automatic payments rejected, cannot pay my lawyer, the list goes on.
You think you know a person.... but when they turn out to be something which you are entirely unfamiliar, that is when you start to think all the memories are just worthless bullshit because this person was 'never' the person you thought they were.
I can understand how the way your marriage ended can leave a lasting, bitter taste in your mouth; I'm very sorry it did, sadly it's a lot more common as I know of other, quite similar cases. Some more information... the separation occurred in January 2015.... i am in a happy relationship today. Thought that might lighten my mood toward the old marriage? No.
If i am totally honest, i will have to say that its probably certain occurrences since the separation that makes me feel this way more than anything else.
It all went south when she decided i am not to have any overnight stay with our then 3 year old daughter, even though i was in the family home and my ex moved to her mothers. Our daughter was moping around saying repeatedly "i want to go home now" But no.
If you are wondering - there are no issues of violence or drugs or drinking, nothing, we are both normal people.
What else she did... she stopped me seeing my daughter entirely for five months because i did not agree to her financial settlement offer. Only her lawyer stepped up and made her let me see my daughter again.
While that was going on she stole 4 thousand out of my personal account which was linked 'jointly' to the joint mortgage account. I could not meet the repayments for the mortgage, i could not get my car repaired, so i had no car,
I am getting calls from creditors, fines for automatic payments rejected, cannot pay my lawyer, the list goes on.
You think you know a person.... but when they turn out to be something which you are entirely unfamiliar, that is when you start to think all the memories are just worthless bullshit because this person was 'never' the person you thought they were.
From what you shared, however, you very much have reasons to smile, the biggest reason ever, actually
You were blessed with the most precious outcome a relationship/marriage can lead to - a child; your daughter's existence alone is more than enough to have you smiling for the rest of your life, for everything around and about this part you experienced that led to her birth, as well as the first few years you shared as a (happy, I assume) family. It is very unfortunate that the (nuclear) family bond broke, but it does not undo the fact that good things happened between the two of you.
So, again imo, those memories are most definitely not worthless bullshit, no matter how bad things turned out.
Regarding that last bit about "this person was 'never' the person you thought they were" - people, feelings and relationships are dynamic, they grow, evolve, adjust, change over time depending on a number of factors, not all of them under our control. People change and sometimes act/react in ways even they themselves would not expect of themselves if asked under different circumstances.
Were there any signs back then that she wasn't actually the person you knew her to be, or signs consistent with how she handled things after the separation? If there weren't, have you considered that you may be projecting into the past, on her and your past relationship with her, the negative experience you had in the future? Because if there weren't, what you shared was real within the context of time and circumstances you shared it. You seem to let all the bad things that followed the separation taint everything that proceeded; cherishing the good things, and smiling about them, does not equate to exonerating the other party from their responsibilities in things that went bad.
Sorry for the long-winded reply, apologies if I've overstepped in anything I said, and I hope it's clear that I'm just trying to show you my perspective, and not judging you or making excuses for her.