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All right, boys and girls. You're in for quite a treat with Fiendish Freddy's Big Top O' Fun. We have not one, not two, but six , count 'em six, zany games of circus excitement. Yes, friends, a real sports-o-rama. Soon you'll be the talk of your neighborhood as you compete in the death-defying events in this circus extravaganza. And a word to the wise—watch out for that rascal of a saboteur, that do-er of dastardly deeds, that vindictive victim of the rare form of dementia known as circusus interruptus—the one, the only, Fiendish Freddy.
And now, from the home office in Northbrook, IL, here are the top five reasons why you should play Fiendish Freddy's Big Top O' Fun :
Number 5: Because this program contains not one, but two scantily-clad, fully-endowed babes.
Number 4: Because you can do this by yourself and not go blind.
Number 3: Because it will help stimulate the economy—particularly ours.
Number 2: Because we left circus tickets for Elvis at the will-call window.
And the number one reason...Because we offer breakthrough animation, dazzling graphics, slapstick, cartoon-style humor, and big time big top fun. And because we said so!