A.D. 2044 (+Sołtys i Skaut Kwatermaster)

...and it still feels like I paid too much. You know those really terrible games that are overcrowding Steam these days because everybody is a game dev nowadays, and it's so easy to throw up (literally? figuratively?) an Early Access game and sell it on the promise that it *might* get better before "release"? Well, this game is like the 1990s forefather of those terrible games. In fact, if I hadn't seen that it was originally released in 1996 I would have assumed it was exactly one of those games. I'm keeping this short so in conclusion, take a minute to read the synopsis. Get it for free because then you also get Stronghold HD for free and that's a win (sorry if you're reading this after that promo ended). Otherwise, avoid this game like a man trying to survive in a world full of killer lesbians and bionically-engineered man-women. (seriously, read the synopsis)

The game may be somewhat famous within the history of Polish gamedev, but on its own merits, it's unfortunately quite terrible. A lot of inventory items are invisible until you click on the exactly right, unlabelled place on the screen to get the exactly right camera angle - I definitely won't blame anyone for taking forever to get out of the first room because of this. There are also other puzzles that rely on combing the screen pixel by pixel for obscure hotspots. Using inventory items on each other is rather annoying due to the way the inventory is set up, and (if I'm not mistaken) you need to use them in a specific order - if you're meant to use X on Y, then using Y on X will yield no effect, which makes experimentation frustrating. And of course don't expect a compelling story... there's barely any narrative to speak of. The comedy is lackluster and the jokes reek of desperation, save for everything that has been cribbed from the original 1984 movie (which I greatly recommend, by the way). About the only nice thing I can say is that the music is pretty nice, but unfortunately the jaunty tune gets old quick (there are other songs in the game folder as well, but I gave up before hearing them played in-game). If you're curious about cult Polish games of the 90's, you can try checking this out... but if you just want to play a point-n-click adventure game, choose just about anything else.

Hilariously bad, but not so bad it is good enough keep. Hope I can somehow get this removed from my account.

I got this for free when it first arrived here, and I am glad about that seeing as this is literally the worst game in my GOG collection. But that doesn't mean it's completely devoid of interest: A.D. 2044 is actually an adaptation of the 1984 Polish cult classic "Sexmission", which is a comedy science fiction film with a hidden political satire layer specific to the time and place of its production. This game made me discover that film, and it's the best thing that can be said about the former since the latter is honestly fun (the satire is not only directed at intergender conflict: rather more importantly for the film's creators, the satire is upon totalitarianism). While the game retains the satirical element in the broadest sense, it doesn't really manage to tell a story beyond the intro (which still has one of the most incredible lines I've ever heard, spoken matter-of-factly: "[humans] their inventions were: space shuttles, nuclear power and the war of the sexes"). The adventure seems to have been strung together randomly, and the character you play as regularly expresses himself in a way that suggests he barely comprehends his situation (in layman's terms: the voice acting is bad) - when he isn't breaking the fourth wall by providing clues to make up for the very subpar game design. Because ultimately, what makes A.D. 2044 a mostly negative experience is the illogical gameplay reliant on pixel hunting and arbitrary obstacles (which include the inventory puzzles). Some puzzles make sense but cannot compensate for all the nonsense, and I had to resort to a walkthrough a lot (FYI, I completed realMyst without any walkthrough so it's not like I suck at puzzles in general). What's left is some above average graphics with decent art direction (except for the awful human character models), and a few direct references to the film which will be lost on most people. I'll remember one fairly good music track also (and a TERRIBLE one too). Glad I watched the film, tho!