Nine Parchments

The reviews about not playing single player are spot on. Dull, boring, and repetitive. But here's the catch. The multi player is so broken right now. Resuming a coop session throws you into single mode. Going online has just as many problems. Joining a game can reset you progress. People joining in and starting at a different locations on the map, thus locking everyone on screen. Gameplay Combat: It's just Magika but without the spell crafting. Story: Meh. Replay, replay, replay. I don't mind replaying, but when they expect you to replay the story at least 8 time ( 8 characters plus variations ) on the same dull boring repetitive maps, it get tedious. Character swapping. NOPE. You can't do that until you beat the game. Have fun playing through the game with every character.

Nine Parchments is an isometric overhead twinstick shooter in a fantasy universe built around madcap co-op antics with low-consequence team-kills aplenty. Unfortunately in singleplayer that means fighting a small amount of bullet-sponge enemies in a wide open arena with a painfully slow movement system. To be fair, there's more of an emphasis on position in this game with many enemy attacks cutting off portions of the map and boxing you into a corner, but it's all so slow-paced that it's just painful. Yes it's by the Trine people, but unlike the gorgeous backdrops of the 2D platformer Trine 2, you're mostly looking at dirt and cobblestones with the overhead camera, though they do have occasional moments where you're traversing a cliff so they can show off some pretty sights. All in all it's an okay game that would merit one or maybe two stars more if you have a co-op partner. Otherwise I'd suggest Nex Machina, Forced Showdown, or Trine 2 before getting this.

Played with three other friends for a full party. Key: Amount of pluses on Pros are how nice they are, and amount of minuses on cons state how big of a negative impact the con had. Pros: ++++Wonderfully pretty game, top notch visuals. +++The co-op action is very fun, for the first half of the first run. The glitches can be funny when they’re not game breaking. ++The overall animations and small details are quite nice. ++Great voice acting for sure, everyone sounds fantastic… what little voice acting there is. +During the very few times you could combine spells, it’s a lot of fun. +The variety of staffs, and what they do is nice. There’s lots of variants of the base staffs too. ++Controller support is nice as well as mouse + keyboard. (Can switch from controller to M+KB mid game but not from M+KB to controller) +(-)Character design is very nice, too bad you have to slog through the game to enjoy it. ++The character quips are fun, and you can change them on the fly! You can make your character act different and say different things with a button press. Cons: --------PAY ATTENTION, CRITICAL FAIL-------- DO NOT play this game single player. It is extremely slow as is without friends, and with them the game becomes barely tolerable. If you do not have three friends to join you on your journey I’d be surprised if you make it past the mid-way point before getting so board you quit. This game is not designed for single player at all. --------PAY ATTENTION, CRITICAL FAIL-------- -----Game has so many glitches and literally took three days of bug testing ON THE USERS PART just to get this thing to run. The hassle of this alone almost made us refund. Issues involvel constant crashing, network issues, game breaking bugs. --Game flow is garbage: this is how the game plays, walk around the edges of the map looking for collectables, random encounter, repeat until end. No puzzles, just fighting and collecting. ---SERIOUSLY?---This is a four player co-op game that has 8 characters, 4 variants of each character, and yet you can only use the first two basic version of the human male and female characters. Think about how bad of a design choice this is; four people playing, there are not enough characters at the start to have everyone be a different character. --Enemy variety is awful, there are about 12 different enemies that get old fast in this game that get different elements (fire enemy can’t be hurt by fire etc). ------The enemy mechanics are unfun. We played this game on normal because we quickly realized anything more would be a chore. Every fight is a slog due to the overuse of shield enemies that reflect everything you do, can only be hurt from the back, and spin around like a CS:GO spinbot. ---Unlocking characters does not feel rewarding, and is spaced out so bizarrely it’s almost disturbing. Here is how you unlock a character; first you get lucky and RNG unlock their staff (some of the ways staffs are unlocked are killing an enemy holding one in a very particular way that the game does not tell you how to do). Then you must complete their personal quest. Two unlock in the middle of the game, and the other six at the very last six levels of the game?????? -Cannot change characters mid game. Simple as that, although considering nearly all the characters are locked at the end, so who needs this feature amirite? -Starting the game up again makes no sense in co-op. Okay so get this, you have to have the host of the game and press the “resume” button at the top, if you do not you will reset your progress! --Bad net code. Nothing more to say about this, enjoy lag, character stutter, poor connections, etc. --There is no such thing as private games, even using the resume button it's a public game. --Piss poor story and ending was limper than your Granddad’s dick. Summary: Somehow the creators of this game managed to make an extremely pretty Magicka, but only half understood what made that game fantastic. This game is begging to be replayed over and over but is so slow, boring, and full of unfun mechanics why would you ever? It is such a beautiful game but it’s only skin deep.

Just like any bunch of wizards in training, the cast of Nine Parchments make a mess of things. The gameplay really exemplifies this. If you can grab some friends, start the first level, and not start murdering eachother then my pointy hat goes off to you. This is a game about constructive chaos, learning to make it work with a bunch of spells that don't want it to work, and hearing every sumptuous bit of dialogue on offer. Like Magicka, Nine Parchments is a (up to four player) multiplayer romp through a magical world with friendly fire permanently on. You fry enemies--and eachother. You freeze monsters--and eachother. You electrically charge giant healer-geese--and eachother. Cackling maniacally while doing this is optional. Unlike Magicka, this game has characters. From the foppish Cornelius to the baker-gone-pyro Corniffer, the dialogue is a treat. It is well delivered before each level, with banter segments at the beginning of a new chapter. There is a great sense of maneuverability in Nine Parchments. Jumping, teleportation, and strafing are the bread and butter of survival; A daunting task on the harder skill levels. I've put many, many hours into trying to topple Hardcore Mode (my recommendation for play), and it is a beast. After 50 or so attempts I still haven't conquered it (Oh, but I will). Curated fights are a strong centerpiece here. One moment you feel unstoppable as you crush dark-enchanted enemies with a well placed healing spell. Next round you realize you didn't round out your fire portfolio, and are frozen in a block of ice before you can dent an ice-beam gang. It's tough, but progress is possible as you learn more about the game encounters and discover your favorite catalogue of spells (you get one after every boss fight). Hours into looking for unlockable new characters, spells, and accessories, beating hard core on the 28+ levels, and enjoying the breathtaking graphics and vistas, I gave this game an unequivocal recommendation. Enjoy!