I know how this worked in D&D 3.5, but I just wanted to make sure for Kingmaker: In regard to Weapon Focus, is "Ray" is all ranged spells with an attack roll, even if they aren't described as rays, and "Touch" is any other spell with an attack roll that is delivered in melee range?

Also, does Weapon Finess work with those weaponlike spells?

Yes, Yes, and Yes.