As a veteran of many strategy and RPG games, I have to say the kingdom management aspect of this game is frustrating to the point of being a real turn-off. The management paramaters are exceedingly opaque. Why precisely is my ostensibly stable kindgom, which I have invested much time and money in building buildings and updgrading them, rioting? No real sure. There is probably a reason. Somewhere. I probably missed it. But if I missed it, I imagine other folks did as well. Also, if you are out "adverturing" it compromises your ability to manage the kingdom. You can manage your kingdom, but miss timed quests. All of this would be fine if the systems were better explained, but they are not. I could turn on "auto-manage", but I guess I could just automanage the story as well.

I am probably getting old, but this mystery is not worth solving.

It sounds like you have the same problem i had when i started playing, which is that i did not realise the importance of "ranking up" the various stats asap.
Every time one of the kingdom stats goes up by 20 points the advisor assigned to that stat will show up in the throne room with a request, and be available for a 14 day (diplomat can reduce this to 7) promotion.
This will rank up the stat by 1 point, and once it reaches rank 3 you will unlock a new "cabinet position" for a new advisor to oversee another stat. For example, do this 3 times with your high priest after getting 60 in in divine and you can assign a magister to oversee the arcane stat.
Another thing the game does not explain well is that having a stat (any stat) below rank 3 makes your kingdom more unstable as time passess, so you will want to focus on stat ranking above all.
Turning on "invincible kingom" is a good idea if you reach the riot stage.
Basically you are constantly juggeling kingdom timers and invisible quest timers.
All in all it is a horrible system that gets in the way of enjoying the game rather than enhancing it.

it's not as bad as you say it is. yes, the minigame is broken. no, you can do both quests and and develop kingdom to all 10-s.

it pretty much is as follows:
-be lawful build bulletin board in every region asap
-claim regions asap, upgrade to towns asap
-buy BP if needed for claiming an upgrading to towns
-upgrade regions with masters you need first
-don't buy buildings if you have about 2 promotions left after you get 60 stats for sub-advisors unlocks.
-invest early so you will save a lot of money later
-choose to reduce taxes in economy event
-use jubilost camp special to get every 8th rest for free. it's optional but it will save you enough time to do better exploration.
-don't waste time
-be near bald hill 25-ish days before timer runs out
-bring your own supplies for the rest. I mean still hunt, but have enough supplies to rest anyways in case you fail the check. and always have the box checked. you can't waste time hunting.
-most projects are useless. curse projects apart from few story ones are useless, cheaper buildings projects will never pay off. trade agreements are mostly ok. minting coin will likely never pay off.
-use the best skill advisor with no regards to alignment.
-do master artisans quests asap. the items will help pay for your development.
-don't bother trying to find out what stats do. treat em as per-requisites for better master items. stat of 180 is soft cap for level X, stats don't do much afterwards.
-build towns as close to your capital as possible to cut days traveling for master quests.
-riverside towns are best as piers increase relations and that's the hardest stat to come by.
-if you do it this way you will have about a month left by the end of the game with nothing to do. DLC dungeon will fill tat gap.
-do not EVER go into negative BP. It will destroy your kingdom faster than any monsters will.

Minor thing about this, but advisor choice does actually affect how some opportunities/problems play out (and the reward you get for succeeding at them).

Also, researching the Curses is nessisary for the 'true end'.

only the related curses count. pretty sure. most of them are just a waste of time still. and skill is more important for advisors than minor outcome details. you can and should sometimes go against what your advisor wants. anyways if you don't succeed at events you get jack all. so, unless you want to save-scum higher skill still takes the cake.

No, you need to have researched at least 13 of them.

There are several other strict/missable requirements though, so it's true that most playthroughs don't have to bother.

All good points. Thanks folks. But I think I am putting this one aside for awhile.

Note that there are 2 kinds of riots. It can be a low morale problem (i.e. the morale of your kingdom is at the rioting stage), but it could also be a "story" riot. I'm at "season of the bloom", and I have one of those right now : My kingdom is "Serene" but the people are up in arms because of the plague, so I guess the riots are preplaned and not in any way connected to my management

for low morale, I guess it's trickier. As far as I know, morale can take a plunge when a stat gets under 0, when your BP get under 0, or during some decisions (a tax raise, for example). Dealing with dangerous crisis (the trolls, the bloom, the curse...) should also be high priority, since they can deteriorate pretty quick and I think they impact morale

As the other said, promotions should get a high priority : they unlock new council seats, and each promotion gets you a solid +2 for every event this councilor has to make, so they kind of steamroll (promotion -> more successfull crisis and less disaster -> kingdom stats raise -> another promotion becomes available...). Since I started doing them, events are easier to deal with and I don't get "disaster" results anymore, even with weaker councilors like Octavia or Jhod on my council

As for adventuring vs ruling, I was frustrated too at the beginning, but it's possible to accomodate the 2 activities
- If you conquered a region, kingdom management becomes available in the map screen from that territory. That means that most random crisis can be dealt with without going all the way back to the capital, especially if you're exploring your borders
- New events tend to crop up twice a month, so try to get back to your territory once every 10 days. It is important to do that during the last week before the end of the month, to clear the "surprise" events that might otherwise expire before you even know of them.
- That means that you need to look at the calendar before doing time consuming stuff like adventuring far from your borders or doing a 14 days events (like promotions and conquests). Those are better dealt with at the beginning of the month. You WANT to be available and on your territory around the 25th
- Hunting is nice to supplement your food, but it's a big waste of time if you try to survive on it alone. Buy food at towns and taverns, and eat it while you travel. That should allow you faster travels (as long as you don't overload yourself, of course), and thus easier trips to your capital
- You want to be immediately available during the month before the curse. For me, those month are a time for "local" adventures.

I still struggle sometimes, but since I've started to pay a close attention to the calendar and promote my councilors, the kingdom management part has become far easier. :)

For me, worrying about keeping appointments is the opposite of fun.

For me, juggling inventory and looking at budget graphs is the opposite of fun, and yet RPGs and city-builders are my favorite genres ^^

More seriously, I was somewhat pissed off too when I encountered this timing puzzle, but now I solved it, I kinda like it.
The city/kingdom-building part of this game is piss-poor (quite inferior to NWN2, for example) since it has so little impact on the rest of the game (Why can't I go window-shopping in the workshops I built, dammit?), but the event/crisis system DOES sell the idea that you're in charge of a small country.

And the time constraint is kinda welcome, too. Too many RPGs are completely stupid in that regard, building a false sense of urgency and completely disregarding it. "The world is in danger, the princess has been taken hostage and an army in marching on the capital right now! So let's explore the opposite corner of the map and fight bandits!"
At least, in this game, you have to sometimes ask yourself "I've got a little time for treasure hunting, but maybe I should handle that troll invasion soon?"

So true. I simply can't take most CRPG's storylines seriously precisely because of this. It is a welcome change, though they could have done more/been more polished in execution.

CRPG's as a whole will rarely be a serious story telling medium with truly meaningful consequences other than gamist/ruleset system based ones (death in combat), because too many gamers just want to kill stuff and find better loot at the end of the day, and anything that is disruptive of such will draw howls of hatred from the majority.