Game of Chess, first move:
Nxb3, check.

Your move.

[In other words, on my first turn, I move a knight forward two spaces and capture the piece there, and you're now in check.]

^ If yours was the "first move," then how would the black bishop be at b3? His starting location should be f8.

Why an I writing chess questions on a wall? Why doesn't someone start a chess thread? Why am I writing on this wall still?

O.o

Well, I captured the piece that was at b3, even though there wasn't one.

Also, I moved the knight in an illegal manner; forward two, but in a straight line.

Furthermore, I did declare check.

Well, who says what's written here has to make any sense, or even be legal chess?

How could you even declare check, when the queen already poisoned the king?

(This is no part of the chess discussion, it's my "writing on the wall")

Long live the Queen!

May the king ever love her as the sweet little six-year-old princess she is deep inside.

Kilroy woz here.

Checkmate.

^ but we're playing Monopoly

Well, then you're bankrupt.

Actually, we're playing a variant of Monopoly.

Rules:
* Each player starts with no money.
* Each player has a debt of $500, which must be payed to the bank at the start of the first turn (or else the player is bankrupt.)

I pass Go first and collect the $500 in the center of the board and the $200 for passing Go and buy the Reading Railroad!
(I paid my debt after passing Go and made it around the board by rolling doubles and continuing.)

And it seems you rolled doubles 4 times in a row; that should be illegal!

Go to jail, move directly to jail. Do not pass Go!, do not collect £200...

THE BRAKE SHOP
"If You Need Brakes
Try To Stop HERE!"

Fight Poverty
NOT the Poor