*cough* I'm hoping this one goes better than the last 2 I've done. *hint* *hint*

Yes, it's National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day. To enter this giveaway, you have to tell us a funny story about an experience you've had in the Kitchen.

Rep doesn't matter but please no new accounts.

Feel free to pick any title under $5.99 and I'll pick someone at random in the next couple days. I have to cover a local business tomorrow and while they're telling me that they're going to get me out of there in a few hours, I was there all day last time.

If you don;t have a Kitchen story to tell, well it;s also Sewing Machine Day and Weed Your Garden Day. Feel free to contribute stories along those lines as well. Who knows? Maybe I'll pick 3 winners... (Doubt it unless folks are real cheap on their game picking. Have $38 left in my wallet.)

edit: I reserve the right to be anal and make changes to this giveaway. Winners are at my option.

I cook for people every morning and I don't have one good story.

How depressing.

Ol' Pigweed

Everything was in there
That you'd want to see
Corned beef and onions
And true love
Turnips and tinned tomatoes
Parsnips and a few potatoes
A couple extra blessings
From above
Now this here mingle-mangle
Was my best one yet
A big old bad goulash
Worth waiting for
And I'm just about to dip my can
Taste some brotherhood of man
When I get a feeling
That there's a flaw
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan
Was it you
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew
I close my eyes
For just a minute
What do you do
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew
You won't find self-improvement or philosophy
In a dumpster sitting by
The kitchen door
There's plenty leek and humble pie
Ain't too much ham on rye
Sometimes I wonder
What I'm looking for
But a spoonful of forgiveness
Goes a long, long way
And we all should do our best
To get along
Add a pinch of kindness crumbling
To your loving dumpling
Okra for thickening
When something's wrong
But who put old pigweed
In the mulligan
Was it you
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew
I close my eyes
For just a minute
What do you do
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew

Mark Knopfler

Not a huge cook story, but I remember when me and my neighbor were stupid kids, we thought that you could hard boil an egg in the microwave, so we just put an egg in the microwave (with a flimsy door) and... BOOM egg everywhere.

As for game, KOTOR1 is currently $4

I wouldn't consider myself a particular bad cook, but one instance had me basically mess up boiling water.
I set up some water to boil for spaghetti, it was taking time, so I returned to my PC to play a little (don't even remember the game anymore).
It took quite a while before I noticed there was this weird burning smell. The water had evaporated and the saucepan was blackened...

EDIT:
After seeing kizuxtheo's response, you totally CAN boil an egg in the microwave! I did it for ages when I didn't have any stoving equipment. It just takes a bit being careful.
I'd call myself a bit of a microwave expert, even. Stuff I've made purely with the microwave:
Omelette, fried egg, rice, broccoli, cauliflower, baked potato, cake.

I once tried to replicate my mother's receipt for roasted peanuts. It involved butter and salt at some point in the roasting process, but I stupidly added both right from the beginning. The results were utter failure. T_T

On a brighter note, I just recently found out that making non-microwave-oven popcorn is pretty easy. All those years lost thinking it was hard and eating microwave popcorn. So much regret.

I'm in for Shardlight Special Edition (if it is still cheaper than the target price by the end of the giveaway).

Had a friend who was a disaster of a cook. Her husband actually forbade her to cook after a while of being together. One time, she was cooking pasta and when she moved the pot to drain the pasta, put the wooden spoon down on the burner. It promptly caught fire, setting off the smoke alarm, causing her to spill the pasta into the sink. In a panic, she flailed around the spoon trying to put out the smoldering end (it wasn't a full-on fire, spoons aren't made of flash paper) and caught the spoon in - and ignited - the decorative mini-drape things hanging on the sides of the range chimney. She had the presence of mind to get the burning drapes into the sink, so the story has a mostly happy ending. But you can see why she isn't encouraged to cook without safety gear or supervision.

A neighbor on the side the previous year made a funny one.
He wanted to make marmalade and deceived himself in such a way that he put the quinces properly cut into a pan but instead of putting sugar put salt. When it was tasted could not eat was very sour because it did not need salt but sugar.

I'm in for Unreal Tournament GOTY.

Ah the memories of my Sims burning their kitchens and/or themselves to the ground.

Too cheap for a smoke alarm. :P

had you played zak mckracken before .. well maybe you wouldnt have done that ;-)

nice giveaway, +1 but not in.

One of the places I work, they were told they weren't allowed to put in smoke alarms as it would be too much of a change, zoning and ADA would come into effect and they would have to make $1.2 million in improvements to the building.

We're talking about the battery operated versions that aren't attached to a system.

Well, I have burned a few pizzas and had some pans turn black while trying to make hot chocolate cream. One time I burned myself while holding a pan and the shock made me spill a few liters of soup, luckily on the floor. Anyway nothing as ridiculous as these

https://pulptastic.com/im-only-bread-but-kill-me/

I am in for the Age of Decadence while it is on sale.

I'm in.

The following kitchen experience is a completely true story:
One time when making myself some lunch, I took a poptart and stuck it in the microwave with its foil wrapper still on. Within seconds after starting the microwave, sparks started flying everywhere! I stopped the microwave immediately but now the poptart was on fire! I thought about getting a fire extinguisher, throwing some water on it, or blowing it out. Well the fire extinguisher was buried and I couldn't find a cup for water so I blew on it. Not smart. The fire just got bigger. Just when I thought I was going to have to call 911, my Dad shows up and tosses a towel on the fire to smother it out. That was about 10 years ago and I've never heard the end of it. Bottom line is -- don't microwave foil.

Now you would think I'd learned my lesson with microwaves but a few years later I had another incident. This time with a hot dog. I did the Ron Popeil method and "set it and forget it". I put a single hot dog in the microwave for 10 minutes and when I came back, the hot dog was a black dehydrated charred mess. Hopefully the char dog marks the end of the microwave disasters.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll microwave me some dinner. You think plastic containers are microwave safe? o_O

There are plastic containers that are safe to be used in a microwave oven. They usually have the specific sign on them and you put the container in the microwave oven without the lid.