OK, now that's a new one on me.

Final Fantasy 7 (alternate version):

Make the game a 2D sidescroller.
Remove all RPG elements.
Player can now jump, and combat occurs on the main screen and is collision based.
Only one materia can be carried, which allows the use of a magic attack. Each materia can be used a certain number of times. (Think the sub-weapons in Haggleman 3, if you've played that.)
Potions and similar items can't be carried. Picking up a potion will heal you immediately.
Pheonix Downs give you extra lives.
At the start of each stage, and after each life, you can pick a character; each has different fighting styles.
2 player co-op added. (Makes more sense for a 2D sidescroller than an RPG)
Game is now linear without backtracking, with overworld segments replaced by outdoor stages. (Note, for example, a stage where you have to flee, on chocobo, from the Midgar Zolom.)

Croquet.

Add archers.

Golf.

Add hungry pit bulls.

Every video game and pc game:

- let me customize controls
- let me customize hud (and make game playable without hud)
- let me skip cutscenes

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The game of life:
- let me enter cheat codes to instantly give myself infinite money, make myself immortal, and fly

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Football (both American football and soccer):

Give everyone stun guns.

How do you propose applying those changes to "jill off with one hand"?
(Get the game at http://auntiepixelante.com/?p=334)
You can't really customize controls when everything does the same thing, there is no hud, and I don't remember if there is a cutscene (and if there is, it's skippable).

I have "played" (and even written) Conway's Game of Life, and it doesn't have money, a character to make immortal, or a vertical dimension, so your suggestions fail to work there.

Edit: jill off with one hand does have a cutscene when you start it up, but I am pretty sure it is skipable.

Barbie Horse Adventures

Add levels with lots of chainsaw rain.

Red Faction 1 started out alright but then degenerated into an insta-kill corridor shooter that was about as fun as deliberately whacking nails into your hand with a hammer. The fact that I completed that thing was purely out of sheer bloody mindedness. Not enjoyment of any kind.

On that note: my game improvement would be to make the second half of Red Faction like the first half, only a bit more challenging naturally. Getting rid of those shit-eating insta-kill death rays in the process. Then you'd have a good game.

Warhammer Final Liberation
-add more factions: all of them :D

Every RPG with no option for real-time combat:

- Add option for real-time combat.

I can't believe you didn't mention wanting to see Shinra install gender neutral bathrooms at their corporate headquarters.

I don't see that making much sense for two reasons:

1. I don't remember there being any bathrooms there in the first place in the original. (Bathrooms are actually not that common in video games.)

2. In a pure action game, there really isn't time for extras like this. (Remember, this hypothetical version of FF7 isn't an RPG and doesn't even pretend to be.)

Even if it's an option people would never use? (See Wizardry 8 for an example; does anyone seriously play on continuous mode (for non-trivial combats, which is most of them)?)

Given the gender neutral bathroom comment, I have decided to apply the idea to a game that actually *has* gendered bathrooms:

Wasteland:

Add a gender neutral bathroom to the bar that has bathrooms

Add a male prostitute

Add a gay prostitute

Add a transgender prostitute (this needs to be handled carefully and sensitively to not come off as being offensive)

Add a way to change your character's sex that does not require reading a paragraph you aren't supposed to (fun fact, in one place, using a password mentioned in a paragraph you are not supposed to read will sex change your party without any notification; some others will do other things like making your party sick; in all cases, the password otherwise appears to work).

Add the option to camp out and rest for healing (this is actually a serious suggestion). Of course, you could be attacked while resting and camping out in radioactive areas might not be a good idea.

I don't know. Let me load up my Wizardry 8 Player Spy-cam since apparently I work for the NSA all of a sudden. Oh, will you look at that! There is currently a total of 4.5 people using continuous mode and at least 2 of them look serious about it. So to answer your question, yes! ;)